Page 49 of Don’t You Dare Marry Me (Love in Massachusetts #3)

forty-one

Nicola couldn’t figure out why they were here. Abagail had insisted that they come to a fancy restaurant for dinner, which was so not Nicola’s style at all. But she’d dolled herself up and let Abagail escort her inside.

Everything had been wonderful, even the early spring snow that was falling outside. She smiled as she looked out the window at it. She loved Boston in the winter. Most people didn’t, but she did. When it was blanketed in the white snow that dampened the sound of the city and the people.

She hated when it got nasty and dirty and started to melt, which she knew this snow would do in a heartbeat. But at least she’d had her winter already. Her first Christmas with Alanna at home and her first New Year’s celebrating not only with her blood family but with her family of choice.

And she loved Abagail more now than ever.

Abagail had kept every single promise that she’d given Nicola, and she’d never hesitated on what she was feeling, or wanting any more. The changes were stark from where they’d first started, but they’d worked hard to get there.

And it had so been worth it.

Nicola ordered another glass of wine along with dessert, fully expecting to have a belly too full as Cal drove them home that night.

But if she was going to be eating a fancy dinner, then she was going to take full advantage of it.

It wasn’t like this happened often. She and Abagail typically led very different and independent lives.

They had dates, and they had play dates more often than actual dates. But that’s what Nicola had signed up for and agreed to. And she was loving her life. Every single second of it. It was the first time in her entire recollection that she could actually say that she was happy and settled.

And that was all because of Abagail.

“Alanna said she wanted to go to the beach sometime soon,” Nicola said, toying with the stem of the wine glass as it was set down in front of her.

“Then make it happen. She deserves to go if that’s what she wants.”

Nicola nodded slowly and hummed. That was what she loved about Abagail. Nothing was too far out of bounds with her. “I was thinking we could take her to the Cape.”

“We?” Abagail asked curiously.

“Yeah. It’d be a fun trip for a weekend or maybe a week. Don’t you think? When the weather gets a little warmer.”

Abagail’s lips quirked upward slightly. “Yeah, that sounds nice. We haven’t been to the Cape without interruptions before. It’d be nice to try that again.”

“Agreed,” Nicola answered, sipping her wine.

They fell into a comfortable silence, one that Nicola was sure would have originally irked her so much. But now she knew that Abagail thrived in these quiet moments. It was when she did her best thinking, and her best imaging of whatever was going to come next for them.

“Nicola?”

“Hmm?” Nicola looked over to find Abagail leaning back in her chair, the low V-neck dress sliding just enough to the side that Nicola could make out the swell of Abagail’s breast. Oh, she had worn that dress on purpose.

Nicola was damn sure she was right on that one.

Abagail wanted to seduce her all evening before they made their way back home and didn’t emerge from one of their bedrooms until daylight again.

Nicola was going to love every second of it.

“Do you remember the first safe word that you gave me?”

“Yes.” Nicola hesitated. She hated that night when Abagail had used it. It hadn’t been right between them then. They’d worked on their shit and were finally in a good place—a great place—but that didn’t mean that Nicola wanted to remember that night.

“Marry me.” Abagail eyed her seriously.

Nicola shook her head. “I was being an ass back then.”

“You were,” Abagail agreed. “But so was I.”

“I didn’t want you to say it,” Nicola whispered.

“Say what?” Abagail asked.

“You know what.” Nicola’s cheeks burned. Were they really having this conversation again? She’d thought it was enough after the New Year’s party, when Abagail had come home in such an odd mood. But adding this into it? “Don’t you dare say it.”

“Marry me.”

“I told you not to say it,” Nicola hissed.

“No, Nic.” Abagail smiled.

She fumbled around in her purse before presenting a ring box. The ring box that Nicola had returned to her nearly a year ago when Warren couldn’t be man enough to meet her. Nicola just stared at it, so unsure of what to say or do or where to even look. What the hell was happening?

“Marry me,” Abagail repeated, her voice dropping at the end of the word.

“But you don’t love me.” Nicola flicked her gaze to meet Abagail’s eyes. “And you don’t want to get married.”

“I’ve changed my mind.” Abagail’s lips twitched. “And you get to reap the benefits.”

“Abs.” Nicola laughed with a shake of her head. “You aren’t someone who just changes her mind—ever.”

“You’re right.” Abagail reached for the glass of wine, and she took a long sip from it. “I don’t change my mind.”

“You don’t want to get married.” Nicola kept her hands in her lap, not daring to reach up and actually touch the ring box. If she opened it and if she looked inside, her heart was going to shatter in new and unexpected ways. She wasn’t sure that she’d live through that.

“Nicola, what did I just say?” Abagail reached across the table and took Nicola’s hand in her own.

This was so normal . It was so out of the usual for the two of them.

Nicola always tried to keep that last wall up, the one that wouldn’t get her hurt in this way again.

She couldn’t have the dream of marrying someone be shuttered at the altar again—not that she and Warren had made it that far.

She pursed her lips and shook her head, tears brimming in her eyes.

“No.”

“No?” Abagail repeated, surprise in her voice. “No, you won’t marry me?”

“No,” Nicola repeated.

“I’m confused now.” Abagail stole her hand away, pressing her napkin down in her lap. Her cheeks were drawn, and her face tight.

Had Nicola just hurt her by her answer? She couldn’t have, could she? “I don’t understand,” Nicola tried again. “What are we doing?”

“Marry me, Nic.” Abagail looked at her directly and surely. “I want to marry you.”

“But why?” Nicola closed her mouth then, determined to listen only for the answer and nothing else. She wanted Abagail’s honesty now, and she was sure that she’d get it. At least to the extent that Abagail understood it herself.

“So many reasons.” Abagail’s lips quirked upward.

Nicola waited. And Abagail didn’t continue. She swallowed the lump in her throat and reached for her wine glass and sipped it while staring Abagail down. Maybe that would get some answers coming her direction. But still, Abagail was silent.

“All right, tell me why I should want to marry you,” Nicola finally said, giving her tone an edge so that Abagail would understand just how frustrated she was right now.

“Because you love me.”

Nicola glared. That hadn’t been the reason she was looking for.

She already knew that, and it still wasn’t a good reason for the two of them to get married.

Then she realized exactly what she’d asked and where she’d gone wrong.

Setting her wine glass down heavily, Nicola turned the tables on Abagail.

“Why do you want to marry me ?”

“Ah, now there’s the question.” Abagail snagged Nicola’s hand again. “I want to marry you because I want you to have everything you deserve, and I think I can provide that.”

“I have what I deserve,” Nicola answered, furrowing her brow. She was even more confused now.

“But when I die, there’s nothing stopping Warren from coming in and taking it all away. I don’t want him to be able to do that.”

“Oh, so this is about Warren.” Nicola’s stomach plummeted. “It’s about still wanting revenge on him.”

“To be fair, Nic, this started with revenge.”

“And turned into something else entirely.”

“It did,” Abagail agreed. “I don’t want Warren to have the ability to hurt you again.

It’s less about wanting him to suffer and far more about not wanting you and Alanna to suffer.

If we get married, then you’ll be in charge of everything after I die—at least everything that’s solely mine and not the family’s. ”

“You can’t write up a will that makes it all mine when you die?

” The last thing Nicola wanted to think about was Abagail dying.

She wasn’t an idiot. There were twenty-five years between them, but it still wasn’t something that she really wanted to think about and put words to.

But Abagail was practical about absolutely everything, so it would make sense that she’d thought this through many times over.

“Yeah, I can. But you want to be married. And it’s an easier, simpler way to do this.” Abagail canted her head to the side. “So marry me.”

Nicola shook her head in disbelief. “I’m still not sure about this. It feels like we’re doing this for the wrong reasons.”

“Isn’t that my line?” Abagail’s lips quirked upward. She reached for the ring box and pried it open.

Nicola hadn’t seen the ring since the day she gave it to Abagail nearly a year ago, since the last time it had been in her possession. She hadn’t even known where Abagail had put it for all this time, and she’d stupidly assumed that somewhere along the way, Abagail had given it to Warren.

But here it was.

The ring that used to sit on her finger, twinkled in the light. The one that had felt so heavy when she’d first put it on after Warren had gotten down on one knee. Would it feel the same this time? Or would this be an entirely different experience?

“Marry me, Nic,” Abagail said again, pulling the ring from the box and holding it out for Nicola to either take or not take. “I want this.”

“Are you sure?” Nicola asked, flicking her gaze from the ring up to Abagail’s eyes. “Because before you didn’t.”

“I didn’t then. But I do now.” Abagail looked completely relaxed.

She’d thought about this, hadn’t she? She’d spent months thinking about this and debating it and analyzing it. Abagail was someone who did that silently all on her own and then she’d plop down the resolution she’d come up with and no explanation to accompany it.

But Nicola had gotten the explanation this time.

“You’re sure about this?” Nicola whispered again, needing that reassurance.

“Yes, Nic. I’m more sure than ever. I want this. I want to take care of you and make sure that you have the world at your fingertips. And I want you to feel like you belong, that you have the family you’ve always wanted, the home you deserve.”

Nicola melted. She bypassed the ring and stood up, half coming around the table and half leaning over it.

She grabbed Abagail by the cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss.

She nearly fell into Abagail, and thank God Abagail was quick enough to catch her so that Nicola fell into her lap.

She laughed loudly, gleefully looking into Abagail’s eyes.

“We’re getting married.”

“We are,” Abagail answered.

“I can’t believe it.”

“You better.” Abagail sucked in a slow breath. “Because it’s happening.”

Nicola moved in and kissed her again. This time, she deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue along Abagail’s lips until she parted them and allowed Nicola in.

She stayed there, kissing and humming, and living into her moment of true happiness.

She’d all but given up on this dream, working on being satisfied with everything that she had because, fuck, what she had was so good. She never wanted to lose Abagail—ever.

“I love you,” Nicola whispered again. “Thank you.”

Abagail hummed and brushed her fingers through Nicola’s hair before curling it behind Nicola’s ear. “Put the ring on. It’s always been yours.”

Nicola looked over her shoulder at it.

“I thought you’d want it as a way to say you were claimed by me.”

“Oh yes, I do.” Nicola snagged the ring off the table where Abagail had dropped it and slid it onto her finger.

She’d been right before. This time it felt perfect on her hand—not too heavy and not attached to invisible strings that she had no idea were there.

Abagail wouldn’t ask for those things, she’d proven that time and time again.

Abagail just wanted what was best for her.

“I couldn’t give it to him again,” Abagail murmured. “I wanted you to have it.”

“Thank you,” Nicola said again. She couldn’t wait to tell Alanna.

She couldn’t believe this was actually her life.