Page 42 of Don’t You Dare Marry Me (Love in Massachusetts #3)

thirty-four

“I don’t know what to do!” Abagail started as soon as Elia answered the phone.

“Well, slow down, tell me what happened.” Elia’s calm voice was all Abagail needed right now—well, almost.

One week.

And Abagail was going crazy.

One week ago, she’d gone to Nicola’s room only to find it empty. Her things were gone, her car was gone, she was gone. And the house had been so quiet, the air thick with something that she couldn’t name, and she hated it.

Nothing Abagail had done in that week had made a dent in changing the atmospheric wake left by Nicola’s absence. And yet, Abagail still couldn’t put a damn name to what she was feeling or thinking.

Worried? Yes.

Nicola had no place to go or stay. She did have a job, and Abagail had been such an idiot that she had checked and seen if Nicola had been showing up for her shifts—she had been.

So she was around still, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t sleeping in her car again.

Which Abagail suspected she was. She’d prefer the car over dealing with the fact Abagail had ended their agreement.

Fearful? Absolutely.

Nicola wasn’t prepared for the world out there.

She hadn’t done a good job of setting herself up for success, and even though she was a survivor and had proven that over and over again, Abagail knew it would be easier if she’d just let Abagail take care of some things.

Not everything, but a few things here and there, like a damn roof over her head and food in her belly.

Mad? Damn straight.

What if Nicola had ended up back together with Warren?

It would explain many things, including the silence that Nicola had given her in the last week.

Abagail had tried to text and call her, but Nicola hadn’t answered or responded later.

And Abagail had slowed down her attempts to contact her.

But she hadn’t been lying when she’d told Nicola that she was fond of her.

Lonely?

Abagail wasn’t sure she’d quite label what she was feeling as that.

At least, not yet. She certainly missed her nights with Nicola, although they hadn’t had many of those before she’d left anyway.

But there did seem to be a hole left by Nicola’s absence, one that wasn’t very dark, wasn’t very deep, and Abagail was still trying to explore exactly how it was there.

Because it felt so similar to when she and Elia had been in the height of their issues.

But Nicola wasn’t Elia.

“What’s got you so upset about this?” Elia asked, and Abagail could hear her breathing heavily through the phone.

“Are you busy?” Abagail finally asked, realizing far too late that she hadn’t asked if Elia had time for this conversation.

“I’m just getting to my house for dinner. I’ll be home in a minute.”

“All right.” Abagail pressed her lips together in a thin line. “I haven’t heard from her since she left.”

“When did she leave?”

“The same day you did, after we had our talk.”

“Talk.” Elia said that word like it was going to answer all the questions Abagail wasn’t being asked. “What did you say to her?”

“I told her that what was happening needed to stop.”

“And what was… happening?”

Abagail’s stomach flopped. She’d already been through this with Elia before, so why was she asking the same damn question again. “Sex.”

“Here’s the thing, Abs, and I’m only going to tell you this once.

Aromantic people can have relationships.

They don’t look like the standard relationship, but it’s okay to explore what that might look like.

So I guess my real question is this—why won’t you explore that with Nicola?

” Elia huffed out a breath, and Abagail was fairly certain she was finally in her house.

If only they could be having this conversation in person.

It’d be that much better than a phone call.

Although their earlier issue of tension and distance that Abagail was the cause of seemed mostly resolved by this point, Abagail wasn’t such a fool as to think that it wouldn’t come back up some day.

“She deserves someone who can give her what she wants,” Abagail said, her tone softening to just above a whisper, and her heart aching in her chest.

“What if what she wants is you?”

“She doesn’t.” Abagail shook her head.

“Okay, we’re going to sidestep that conversation for a minute, because until you actually talk to her, you won’t know the true answer to that question.”

Now Abagail was being scolded into thinking that she was wrong the entire time. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I want you to be honest, and I want you to stop avoiding your feelings.”

“I don’t have feelings.”

Elia snorted. “We both know a line of bullshit when we see it.”

Abagail laughed, the sound bubbling up from her chest and through her lips, and she let it release into the wild. Her lips curled upward, and she shook her head. God, this was why she loved Elia. She was able to call her out like this no matter what.

“Fine, I have feelings,” Abagail admitted through a few lingering chuckles.

“For Nicola?”

“I told you that I’m fond of her.”

“And beyond that?”

“I want her to get everything she deserves and wants. I empathize with her. I just had the advantage of wealth that she doesn’t have.” Abagail paused then. “I could take care of some of that, but I’m not sure she’d accept it. She’s independent to the core.”

“Like you,” Elia added.

“Yes, like me.”

“I have only one more question for you.”

“What’s that?”

“Why are you talking to me about this again? Shouldn’t you be talking to Nicola?”

Abagail tensed and then relaxed. She should be, but she wasn’t sure quite where to find Nicola. She didn’t want to find her at work and interrupt her there, and Nicola wasn’t taking her calls. Shouldn’t that mean that she needed to give it up and let Nicola go?

“What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?” Abagail asked, sheepishly.

“Oh, is this some lack of self-confidence that you suddenly have? Because that’s not you.”

“It’s not,” Abagail agreed, but she also couldn’t deny that was it in a nutshell. “But I can’t give her what she wants and needs.”

“I’ll reiterate again that you don’t know what either one of those things are. My guess is because you have never even broached the topic or gotten close to it.”

“She wants marriage.”

“And you don’t,” Elia surmised. “And what will happen to your fortune and your businesses when you die?”

“Don’t talk like that.” Abagail wrinkled her nose. Her businesses would close down, and Warren and Estelle would get the family money and most of hers, at least after what went to charity. And just that thought, especially now, really churned her stomach.

“What would happen?”

“It’d stay in the family.”

“And do you want that?”

“Not really,” Abagail answered honestly.

She hated giving more to people who already had so much and didn’t really need it.

While she had family wealth, it wasn’t something that Abagail actually liked to have had.

She much preferred to make a living and work hard for what she deserved.

It was something that was hers and no one else’s. “I’ll work on that.”

“All right, and Nicola?”

“I’ll find her and talk to her.” Abagail wasn’t happy that she was saying that, but she also knew it was the right thing.

Something was unresolved about their relationship, and she needed to resolve it so they could both move on.

Even if it was just for her. And finding Nicola to talk to her would certainly do that.

“Good.” Elia chuckled. “Then call me and tell me what happens because I’m dying to know.”

“Are you?”

“Yes, I have my theories, and I want to know if I’m right.”

“What theories?”

“I’ll tell you when you tell me what happens.”

Abagail groaned and rolled her eyes. When Elia had that tone, there was no talking her out of whatever it was. “I’ll talk to you soon, then.”

Hanging up, Abagail stared at her phone. She would try one more time, but she was pretty damn sure that Nicola wasn’t going to answer.

When it dinged over to Nicola’s voicemail, Abagail hung up. She didn’t want to leave yet another message asking for Nicola to call or text her back or asking where she was. She pocketed her phone and wandered around her house, moving from bedroom to library to kitchen and back again.

What the hell was she doing?

If she wanted to talk to Nicola, then she just needed to get over herself and do it. She snagged her phone again and called Warren. She just had to make sure of one thing before she went to find Nicola. Was this revenge for nothing?

“Aunt Abagail?” Warren seemed surprised by her phone call.

“Warren.” Abagail pressed her lips together in a thin line. She was going to have to figure out exactly how to word this. “What was the result of your attempt to get back together with Nicola?”

“N-nothing?” Warren stuttered. “Why?”

“And do you have a job yet?” Abagail asked, quickly changing the subject.

“I have an interview next week.”

“That’s a start.” She clenched her phone tightly. What to say next? “Do you happen to know where Nicola is staying?”

“No.” He sounded even more confused now.

“Where would she go if she didn’t have a place?”

“Her car? I don’t know. Maybe she’s crashing at Alanna’s.”

Abagail narrowed her gaze as she stared out the window. “Have you ever been to Alanna’s?”

“No. Why would I?”

“Because you were engaged to her for years?” Abagail couldn’t believe him. Was he even more self-centered than she’d originally given him credit for?

“I wasn’t dating her sister.”

“Christ, you’re an idiot.” Abagail growled and shook her head wildly. “Tell me how the interview goes.”

Before Warren could say anything else, she ended the call and silenced her phone. She didn’t want to talk to him again even if she wanted to keep her phone active for Nicola to call her back. Except she knew that Nicola wouldn’t.

She sent a text to Cal, telling him to get the car ready to take her to her bar in a few hours.

She’d stake out the place until she saw Nicola leaving her shift, even if she had to spend hours sitting in the car and waiting for that.

She didn’t want to disrupt her while she was working, or get her fired again, so she would be patient and wait.

But tonight was the night.

It had to be.