Page 38 of Don’t You Dare Marry Me (Love in Massachusetts #3)

thirty

“What’s the emergency?” Elia asked as she walked into Abagail’s house.

Abagail instantly relaxed. Elia, despite all they’d been through in the last year, was always there for her, no matter what. They were always together, and Abagail wanted to keep it that way.

“I need advice on family matters.” Abagail squared her shoulders. “It’s going to involve whiskey. Do you need to drive back tonight?”

“No.” Elia furrowed her brow. “But I’ll have to leave early in the morning then.”

“Perfect.” Abagail walked directly to the library and poured each of them a drink, knowing that Elia was going to follow her there. She settled into the chair but crossed and uncrossed her legs. Everything that had happened in the last few days was throwing her entire system into chaos.

Elia eyed her over simply, her lips pressed into a thin line. When Abagail didn’t say anything or start the conversation, Elia set her drink down and raised an eyebrow at her.

“You’re going to have to tell me what happened.”

“I cut Warren and Estelle off, at least from what I can. They still have the trusts that my brother set up for them, which will sustain them for a while.” Abagail’s stomach twisted.

She’d hated making that call, but something had to change.

Something had to be different than it had been for the last few years.

“Are you serious?” Elia asked.

Abagail nodded. “Warren’s come into my office twice now to harass me, and he was such a bully to Nicola at the Cape.”

“Wait.” Elia put her hand out, as if that was going to stop Abagail from barreling forward with whatever else she was going to say.

Well, it worked. Because Abagail froze.

“The Cape?”

“Right.” Abagail breathed deep. “Nicola and I took a week at the Cape, and Warren showed up with his new fiancée—now ex-fiancée—” Abagail shook her head “—with Chaya, and while Chaya was fine, Warren’s treatment of Nicola was crossing one too many lines.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think…” Abagail stopped talking. How did she say this? There wasn’t a delicate way to put it, was there? “I think Warren abused Nicola. At least, I’d put it in that category, and based on what I saw, he’s still willing to terrorize her.”

“Has she said anything?” Elia snagged her glass up and took a sip.

Abagail shook her head. “I’m not sure how she defines it.” She traced her finger around the rim of the glass she had. “But from what I witnessed, I couldn’t support his decisions any longer.”

“So you cut him off financially.”

“As much as I could.” Abagail looked at Elia. “He needs to grow up. He needs to stop being coddled. He needs an understanding of how the world functions when he’s not the center of it. He needs to learn a damn work ethic!”

Elia hummed. It was that annoying hum when she was thinking something that Abagail wasn’t going to like or agree with. “And Estelle?”

“She’d only enable him. I cut her off mostly for him, but also because she’s not part of the family. I should have done it when he was an adult.”

There was that noise again. The all-knowing Elia noise, like she could sense something was amiss in the story that Abagail had been telling herself for days now. But what the hell was it? Because Abagail had known it was there, but she hadn’t even bothered to try and figure it out.

“And Nicola?”

“What about Nicola?” Abagail fired back, glancing out toward the rest of the house.

“What about Nicola is right. You took her to the Cape.” Elia sipped her drink slowly, staring Abagail down over the rim. “She’s still here. Where does Nicola fit into all of this?”

“She doesn’t. Except that Warren’s treatment of her alerted me to how bad he’d really gotten.”

“Hmm, I don’t think that’s it.” Elia set her glass down again. “Talk to me about Nicola.”

“There’s nothing to say.”

“Where is she now?”

“Visiting her sister.” Abagail brushed at invisible lint on her pants, gnawing on the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach that she couldn’t get rid of.

“So she’s still living here.” Elia said that like she already knew where this conversation was going. Well, who died and made her psychic?

“Yes.” Abagail bristled at that. She wasn’t going to deny it or lie to Elia, but she certainly didn’t like that she was being called out right now—and that’s exactly what this was. “She hasn’t been able to find a new place to live yet.”

“Has she been looking?” Elia countered.

“I don’t honestly know.” Abagail hadn’t asked. She’d stayed as far away from that conversation as possible, because the truth of the matter was, she did enjoy Nicola’s company still. And she hadn’t wanted her to leave just yet.

“You haven’t asked her?”

Abagail shook her head. She really hadn’t been pushing Nicola out of the house at all, not like she had with previous flings.

That should have been a tip-off that something was different, right?

Abagail sipped her drink finally, letting the burn of the alcohol slide across her tongue, coat her throat, and settle warmly in her belly.

“Okay, let’s get real for a minute.” Elia’s voice came in strong, and it took Abagail aback.

Weren’t they already doing that?

“Okay?” Abagail answered, not quite sure where this was headed, but the potential outcomes scared her.

“What makes Nicola so different from anyone else?”

“She’s not different.” Abagail shook her head, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“You can stop lying to yourself. You just established, through multiple answers, that you’re treating her very different than anyone else in her position. The question I asked is why?” Elia crossed her arms and stared at Abagail. “And I want an actual answer this time.”

Abagail had no idea what to say. She had no answer to give. She’d known that she was treating Nicola different from the start, from the very first moment that they’d started their little arrangement, and everything about it had felt wrong. But it had gotten worse as the days continued.

“Oh, Abs.” Elia touched Abagail’s hand. “I didn’t mean to throw you into a spiral.”

Shaking her head, Abagail pulled on herself. She needed to answer this question. She wasn’t sure why, but she knew she had to. What made Nicola different?

“She’s family,” Abagail finally answered, the words slowly leaving her lips. But again, that didn’t quite feel right either, because she wasn’t family. Though it could be argued that right now Abagail was treating her better than family. So maybe there was something to be said for that.

“You care about her,” Elia supplied.

Abagail scrunched up her face. “I’m not sure I’d go that far.”

“Well, let’s explore that for a second. You haven’t ditched her and told her to get out yet. You spent a lot of money to fix one of her major problems.”

“But I didn’t solve it long term. She needs to figure that out on her own.”

“Does she?” Elia raised an eyebrow back at Abagail. “Is it her responsibility?”

“It’s not mine.”

“Didn’t say it was.” Elia folded her hands neatly in her lap. “If it was my brother in the hospital and mom and I struggling to pay for his care, what would you do?”

“Pay for it,” Abagail answered without hesitation. “You know I would, just like I know you wouldn’t ask for it.”

“Did Nicola ask?”

Abagail was about to say yes, but she stopped herself.

Nicola hadn’t ever asked. She’d never actually asked for a cent.

In fact, she’d consistently talked about making sure that she was earning her keep.

She’d always tried to find a job. She was expecting to pay the bills, not to have them relieved.

“No,” Abagail said simply, looking at Elia directly in the eye.

“So she is different.”

“Yes.” Abagail sighed. She still wasn’t sure what exactly made Nicola so different from anyone else, but she couldn’t deny it any longer.

“Here’s the thing that I know about you, from being your friend for life.” Elia smiled at her and then paused.

The dramatics were beyond Abagail, and she hated them, but she was willing to put up with them if Elia was going to give her some insight into what was going on. Abagail picked her drink back up again and stared at the books on the shelves. Did they hold the answers she was looking for?

“You have a soft spot for people in a pickle.”

“I do not,” Abagail countered vehemently.

“Oh, you do.” Elia laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

“I don’t even know how you can deny that.

Let’s just talk recently and ignore the whole Nicola situation.

Ivy? You found out she needed a new job after being forced to give up her business because her ex-wife was making her life a living hell, and you chose to take her into your company even though you didn’t exactly need anyone to help out. ”

“Sure I did. Now I can take vacations on a whim.” Abagail pressed her lips together hard. That had come in useful, and now that most of Ivy’s dramatics were over, she was another good employee.

“And Greer? How do you explain her?”

Abagail glanced out the door to the library as if Greer was still staying at the house with her. She couldn’t write that one off as easily as she did Ivy.

“You got her a job with Ivy, Nathalie, and Lachlan even though you didn’t need to.”

“A consistent nanny helped my employee be a better employee.”

“Right.” Elia scrunched her face up and gave Abagail a hard stare. “That was your only motive.”

“It was.”

“I thought we were being honest,” Elia countered. “But if you’re not, I can just as easily head home tonight.”

“No, no, don’t do that.” Abagail stared down at her hands.

Elia didn’t even know about Greer staying at the house or the fact that they’d met up several times since Greer had started working for Ivy to discuss the problems of the world and Greer’s life.

Greer had been there when Nicola had come to bring the ring back.

The ring that still felt like it was Nicola’s.

“Are you going to be honest?”

“Yes,” Abagail answered. “I do have a soft spot , as you called it.” She refused to say any more than that, though.

“So why is Nicola a soft spot for you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you care for her?”

“No.” Well, that wasn’t entirely true either. Abagail shook her head. “That’s not right. I do care for her. I’m fond of her.”

“Do you love her?” Elia asked.

“No.” Abagail paused, double checking that she wasn’t lying to either one of them, but the answer settled well in her chest. “No, I don’t love her.”

“Does she love you?”

“I… don’t know.” Abagail frowned into her drink. It hadn’t even occurred to her to ask. “I think she just wants money, honestly. Not that she’s going to ask me for it, or that she’s going to try to take it, she wants to earn it. But I don’t think she wants anything else from me.”

“And what do you want from her?”

Abagail was brought to silence by that question. She had no answer to give. Every time she tried to form words, nothing would pull together, and nothing made sense. She must have stayed there in silence too long because Elia tried to pry it from her in a different way.

“What does your fondness mean?”

Again, Abagail was brought to silence. All she knew was that she was comfortable with Nicola, longer term than she was comfortable with most. But that didn’t mean she could give Nicola what Nicola wanted or needed.

“You said I was aromantic,” Abagail answered, avoiding Elia’s question.

“I’ve long suspected it.”

“So I won’t be good for Nicola long term. I can’t give her what she wants.”

“Do you know what she wants? Have you asked her?” Elia finished her drink and set her glass on the table between their two chairs.

Abagail had barely even had any of hers. She frowned into it, not having an appetite for any more at the moment. The turmoil she was feeling was far too strong, and it bothered her. It shouldn’t, but it did. “I can’t love her.”

“Is she asking for you to?”

“No, but I can’t do that. I can’t give her what she wants.”

“I’m going to ask this again, Abs, and answer it this time. Have you asked her what she wants?”

“She was engaged to Warren.” Abagail shook her head. “So yeah, she wants marriage. I’m sure she wants kids and a family and everything that she doesn’t have.”

“I wouldn’t make assumptions. They can get you into bad spaces.”

Abagail hated when Elia talked like that. She just wished that sometimes Elia could come out and say what she was meaning and what exactly she was thinking. Then again, she wasn’t quite sure that she wanted that answer either.

“I’ll never be perfect for anyone, Elia. You know that as well as I do. I’m too specific, too temperamental, too distant. No one can put up with me for long.” Abagail turned her glass on her knee, not daring to look into Elia’s eyes.

“It’s not like you to get all self-deprecating. Do you actually mean that or are you just venting to avoid?”

Fuck Elia for calling her out on that one too. Abagail knocked back her drink and looked Elia directly in the eye. “You can’t tell me that I’m a good friend.”

“I’ll never tell you that you’re a bad one,” Elia countered, leaning over the arm of her chair and getting even closer to Abagail. “And you’re still avoiding.”

“Sometimes I hate you.”

“Oh, you love me. It’s the only reason I’m still here.” Elia laughed. “But if you want to take a break from the prodding, I’ll allow it. For now.”

“Thank God.” Abagail slumped back in her chair. “Make me another drink, will you? I have a feeling this is going to be a long night.”

“You know it will.”