Page 61 of Dissent (The Dissenter Saga #1)

R aúl watched me, a grim look on his face. I was pretty sure all the color had drained from my own, because I knew exactly how much trouble I was in. He seemed to notice that I was awake, because his gaze fell on me. Straightening, he placed his hands behind his back, and walked toward me.

“It’s a shame that we find ourselves in this way, Mara.

I expected better from you.” His tone dripped of disappointment.

I didn’t dare say anything. I just kept my focus on trying to move my fingers, trying to wiggle my toes, anything .

But it was no use. Other than the muscles in my face, the rest of me felt completely paralyzed.

“I knew you were with that boy, but when the rebels kidnapped you, I thought maybe you hadn’t betrayed us after all.

” He stopped inches from me, brows drawn forward and the corners of his lips tipped downward in a frown.

Then his eyes shifted, and several creases appeared on his forehead.

“That was, until the men at the facility reported back that you had been there, helping them.”

He shook his head. “I expected better of you, Mara. To betray your family, to betray me …and for who? A pack of Dissenters?” He let out a sigh.

“I didn’t want to think that Belinda was right about you, but clearly, she was.

” His words stung me, slicing my heart like a knife.

I tried to speak. I could tell my mouth could move, but trying to get my vocal cords to respond was an entirely different thing.

Only air passed through my lips, but no sound.

Raúl turned to face the fire, the glow casting shadows across his face.

“I know we’ve always been hard on you. And—” his voice faltered.

“And not having your mother was difficult. But we have raised you the best we could. The First Daughter of the Presidential Family,” he announced the title as though exclaiming it to a crowd in a parade, throwing his hands up before letting them drop unceremoniously.

“All gone. All thrown away. You left me no choice this time, Mara. It can’t be known that you would betray us and your crimes go unpunished. ”

I tried to speak again, straining with so much effort that I felt as though my head were about to explode. “Please…” The word escaped me, a whisper at best. He didn’t hear it.

“I had hoped we could repair the situation with the boy, but this…” his head shook, leaving the sentence unfinished.

I pushed harder, and this time, the words formed a little easier.

“Please…please, Raúl.” He turned this time, hearing me.

I tried again, not wanting to lose the opportunity.

“Water…there’s water.” I took a deep breath and then pushed once more.

“Doesn’t have…to be this…way.” So much effort.

I never in my life thought that it would take so much effort to speak.

“Please…” A glimmer in Raúl’s eyes caught my attention.

A glistening that told me he was listening.

“Peace…we could…have peace.” Oh god, please listen to me!

Raúl stood rigid for a moment, and then his shoulders fell, his face tipping forward.

And it was then in that moment that I saw how old my father had become.

He looked tired—worn out, wrinkled, and old.

Had my disappearance made him this haggard?

Was it possible that he was actually worried about me?

Or was he just worried about the rebels?

Another minute passed by and his eyes grew distant. “Peace…” It came out as a whisper. And I couldn’t tell if he was pondering the concept or simply repeating it back to me, but I needed to push forward. I needed to try.

“Yes,” I pushed out the word. I tried to shake my head, but I still couldn’t move it.

“Peace,” he uttered again. He looked away for a moment, but when his eyes came back to meet mine, they glistened with moisture. Tears. Raúl was on the brink of crying.

Hope pumped through me. I pushed again, “Peace…please, Raúl.” The effort wasn’t as much this time, and I could tell some of my other muscles were responding. I mentally scanned my body again and realized a tingling sensation was spreading in my limbs, like when your foot falls asleep and revives.

Then Raúl said something that I thought I would never hear in my life. “We could have peace .” As the sound of those words hit my ears, the hope blossomed within me.

I nodded.

Wait…I could move my head! Not very well, but so much easier than before.

I nodded again. “Yes, we can have peace.” Now the words were coming easily to me.

My body was finally listening to me. “Please, Raúl.” I closed my eyes for a moment, thinking of my next words carefully, and then tried them.

“ Dad …please.” Raúl stiffened, his eyes glistening while the features of his face softened.

The corners of his mouth tipped upward in a soft smile.

He opened his lips to speak, but the voice I heard wasn’t his.

“There could never be peace.” This voice, I knew.

This voice sent chills down my spine as my brain kicked on my survival response.

Because I knew exactly who that voice belonged to.

And there was no scarier person on this earth.

My eyes darted past Raúl to the dark corner of the library as I caught movement.

And from the shadows, the familiar blonde locks and long elegant limbs that I recognized emerged.

“Peace will come to Telvia when every last Subclass Sympathizer has been dealt with,” she said. “Starting with you .”

At my father’s side, Belinda stood tall, beautiful, and deadly. The sight of her caused all the hairs on my arms to stand on end as a shiver traveled down my spine. Every muscle in my body wanted to run. But it was of no use. I didn’t have control of anything but my face so far.

Raúl set his gaze upon her. “Surely we can discuss this, my dear. Perhaps reeducation will help—”

Cutting his sentence short, she threw him a cool look.

“I told you I didn’t want her. I told you from the very beginning, but you forced her on me.

You should have finished what you started,” she hissed at him.

“How you ever thought that she could replace—” Belinda stopped short, covering her lips with her hand.

Closing her eyes, she steadied herself, her features hardening.

Then she set her cool, calculated gaze on my father once more.

“She’ll betray you in the end, just like she did.

Do what you should have done in the beginning. Do it…or I will.”

Raúl stiffened, his face grimacing in hurt and frustration. He looked from Belinda to me, his eyes lingering on my face. “There’s got to be a way—”

“There is no way!” Belinda shouted at him.

Raúl snapped, turning on her like a snake getting ready to strike. “ I’m the president here!”

Oh my god… I’d never in my life seen the two of them actually argue with one another. The interaction sparked a second glimmer of hope. Belinda glared at him, rolling her shoulders back as she brought herself up to her full height, but she remained silent. Raúl turned his attention back to me.

“Mara, I’m going to give you one last chance to show your loyalty to this family. One . You think long and hard before you speak your next words. Do you hear me?” The timbre of his voice came out quick and with force, and at the end of them, lied the threat.

I nodded my head softly, keeping my eyes on him the whole time.

“You will tell me everything you know about the Dissenters. Their names, their equipment, their locations… everything .” He took a step closer to me, lowering his face to mine. “Tell me everything, and I will forgive you for all your wrongdoings.”

“ Raúl ,” Belinda protested.

He ignored her. “Tell me everything , and I promise you will have your place in this family. You will be treated as your brother is treated. I will personally guarantee that no one, including Belinda, will mistreat you again.”

Adrenaline pumped through my system. This was it—what I’d been wanting for my whole life—my opportunity to be somebody.

To be wanted by this family, to be… loved .

Here it was, finally being offered to me by my father, and all I had to do was say a few words.

All I had to do was say yes . It was so simple.

So easy. I blinked, my eyes filling with tears as I looked at my father.

“ Please , Mara. You’re my daughter. I will give you the life you should have received from the beginning.

Speak…tell me everything .” His words were soft this time, almost as though he were begging me.

And my heart ached for him. It ached for me.

It ached because this whole damn thing was so fucked up.

I blinked again, and this time, the tears cascaded down the side of my face softly. Was it so wrong to want to be loved? Was it so wrong to want to be wanted ? To want a family?

But I have a family…

The thought crossed my mind quickly, so fast I almost missed it.

I have a family.

They may not have been my blood, but they’d treated me more like family than anyone ever had, except for my brother.

Then, their faces slipped into my mind. I saw Edith’s raven black hair and her infectious laugh.

I saw Chelsea’s face of concern as she dodged to take a bullet for me at the facility.

Wes’s scowl came next, followed by his infuriatingly confusing moments of vulnerability that made my heart pound and my stomach twist in the wildest way.

And I saw Matias’s deep brown eyes, his sweet smile, and the love he clearly felt for me.

They were my family. My real family…and I couldn’t betray them.

I swallowed, pushing down the knot that had formed in my throat.

The choice was clear to me, but I knew once I made it, it meant game over.

Because this time…this time I was going to think of someone else over myself.

This time, I was going to choose them. But this time, there would be no running away.

This time, I was going to have to pay the price for loving someone else over myself.

I took a deep breath, doing my best to steady my nerves, and then I let the word fall from my lips, firm and clear, “No.”

Raúl appeared frozen, and then something within him crumpled, collapsing in on itself, causing his shoulders to slump, his eyes to close, and his head to tilt down.

Another second ticked by, then another, and on the third, he breathed in deeply.

He straightened himself up, rolling his shoulders back as he drew himself to his full height.

A look of resolve and hate filled his expression.

He looked at Belinda, his gaze locking with hers, before he turned to face me.

Bending down low until he was looking me straight in the eye, our faces were only a foot away from one another.

Without a single word, his hand pulled on the collar of my t-shirt, exposing my neck.

Cool air kissed my flesh for a fraction of a second before Raul’s nails scraped my skin.

My father’s hand jerked, and I felt the briefest tug before I heard the snap of the chain breaking.

Eyes filled with deep-seated disappointment and grief, he stood up straight, holding up my necklace.

The heart swayed, glinting with the light of the fire.

Then, my father said to me the words that would break any daughter’s heart. “You are no daughter of mine.” He flung my heart into the flames, and I watched it melt into nothingness.