Page 2 of Dissent (The Dissenter Saga #1)

“I was worried about you.” Chase’s voice was soothing, calm. How he always kept such control over himself, I would never know.

I looked up at the passing clouds of spring—white tufts of cotton, floating freely across the sky. Nothing told them what to do except the soft April breeze that whispered rain but brought none. The clouds had not a single care in the world.

Must be nice , I thought bitterly.

“Mara?”

“What? Oh! Yeah, I know. I’m sorry. You know I can’t do anything when I’m in there.”

Chase rolled onto his side, propping his head up with his hand. “Want to talk about it?”

I gave him a quick glance. Did I want to talk about it?

I wasn’t convinced it ever helped. Talking about it just made the memories more vivid, and I usually ended up crying like an idiot.

And I hated crying in front of him. He was this beautiful, blond Adonis—refined cheekbones, a firm jaw, and light green eyes.

Completely gorgeous. The last thing I wanted was to look ridiculous in front of him.

I shook my head, brushing back a swath of my brown hair from my face. I definitely didn’t want to talk about it.

He opened his mouth, but hesitated. “Did…did she hurt you this time?”

I pressed my lips together as the memory resurfaced—my stepmom gripping me by the arm tightly as she dug her nails into my flesh, throwing me down the basement stairs. And then…the lashings.

The sensation of leather cutting into flesh…

The snap cracking in the air…

The feeling of warm, thick fluid dripping down my back…

My pulse quickened at the memory, and I instinctively reached for the golden heart pendant hanging around my neck. It was the first and last gift my father ever gave me when I was five—a small comfort in my dark world.

I didn’t want to talk about what happened in the basement. I didn’t want him to know. I didn’t want anyone to know what it was really like. And the truth was, no one could know. Not ever.

“No.” I glimpsed at him, hoping he’d drop it.

His eyes caught mine, and the gentleness of them sent a tingling buzz through me, sweeping out the fear. A smile curled onto his lips as he drew a hand up to mine, steadying my fingers on my pendant.

“You know, you don’t have to lie to me.”

My heart melted. Chase was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I worked so hard to keep him away, denying him every time he came around offering to walk me home.

But he was persistent, charming, and let’s not forget, incredibly breathtaking to look at.

It was no secret that Chase Beckham was the hottest thing around, and every girl at the academy practically dropped their skirts when he walked by.

But, for some bizarre reason, he had chosen me.

Of course, I shouldn’t have been that surprised given that I was the First Daughter of Telvia.

But I held no power, no amazing destined future.

All that belonged to my older brother, Jacob.

“I just don’t want to talk about it, okay? Can we drop it?”

His eyes searched mine, pleading, but I held firm.

After a moment, he nodded. I gave him a quick smile before turning toward his chest and nestling into him, enjoying the warmth of his body against mine.

We laid quietly for a few minutes, enjoying the heat of the sun and the sounds of the birds in the park.

Feeling him stir, I looked up to see his face lost in thought. Curiosity got me.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked.

“You.”

“Me?” Well, that was unexpected. “What about me?”

“Your birthday’s next month.”

I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest. “I know.”

He laughed, nudging me away from him. “Why do you say it like that? You’re going to be initiated, and then you’ll finally get to leave.”

I flopped onto my back again, eyes staring up at the sky through the canopy of the fake spruce trees we rested under. The entire park was a fake. Nothing but artificial turf and plastic plants to create the illusion of a luscious garden. All of Telvia was like that.

“That’s what you think,” I countered. “That’s what happens to people like you . But I’m not stupid…I know better.”

He laughed again. Great. I’m glad he found my misery so amusing. “ People like me? Now what’s that supposed to mean?”

“When you turned eighteen, you got to be independent and move out. When I turn eighteen, I’m still going to be a slave to whatever my dad wants.”

His eyes hardened. “He can’t keep you in that house forever, Mara. You’ll be eighteen, end of story. He’ll have to let you go.”

I snorted, “Yeah, right …” I drawled. “We’ll see how that turns out for me.”

Chase sat up then. “It doesn’t matter if he’s the president, you know.” His brows pinched together in frustration. “The law says that when you’re eighteen, you’re assigned your new position and allowed to move on.”

I covered my face with my hands because I could feel it—the lump forming in my throat and the tightness in my chest. I was on the brink.

Chase wasn’t wrong. That’s the way Initiation was supposed to work.

You submitted your application to the Telvian Administration, and it would get assessed by the Council.

They scrutinized everything about you—your strengths, weaknesses, parentage, class— all of it.

After that, depending how you measured up, they assigned you to your new, permanent life.

The Council decided everything for you, from what district you would live in, to the job you would have, what class you would be in, and, eventually, who you could marry.

It didn’t matter what you wanted—no choices, no disagreements, no arguing, no discussion. End of story.

But I wasn’t stupid.

I knew that leaving the Presidential Palace would never happen. When Jacob turned eighteen and initiated, he didn’t get to leave either. Council just assigned him to a position at the REG—Rebel Enforcement Group—and ordered him to continue living at the palace. Why would I be any different?

On the one hand, maybe my parents would be happy to get rid of me.

I wasn’t even close to being the favorite, and I was pretty sure both my parents wished I had never showed up on their doorstep.

But I had also been my stepmom’s punching bag from the first day I arrived.

I doubt she was going to allow me to leave when she gained such satisfaction from abusing me for everything I did. Belinda was my own personal devil.

I felt Chase’s hands on my wrists as he pulled them away from my face. My vision blurred, and tears fell from my eyes when I blinked.

“Mara, they can’t keep you there forever.”

I sniffed, holding my breath, desperately trying to keep my emotions at bay. “You don’t know how they are.”

His eyes flickered with fervor. “You deserve better than living in that house.”

That did it.

My whole life, my parents worked to make me feel like scum. To hear Chase say I deserved better caused my heart to ache. My chest tightened again, and the lump in my throat grew as another few tears rolled down my face. “Please don’t… I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

He grimaced, drawing a hand up to wipe my tears away. “You know, you’re beautiful.”

I sniffed again, but smiled as my cheeks reddened. “Stop. You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

He leaned down toward me, bumping his nose gently against my own. “Yes, and it’s the truth.” He placed a delicate kiss on my cheekbone, then another on my jawline, and a third at the corner of my lips.

Heat flourished within me as my chest swelled with breath.

We were still new to each other. It had taken him months of pushing before I dared to let him in, thinking that I would just keep him at arm’s length.

But I quickly discovered that Chase had no intention of staying that far away from me.

Each day, he grew bolder, more determined, more…

handsy . And in the beginning, I slapped him, but he didn’t give up easily.

Now, here I was, practically aching for him to kiss me, to touch me everywhere .

I tipped my face toward him, giving him the perfect opportunity, mentally begging him to take it.

Under hooded eyes, he looked into mine before casting his gaze downward toward my lips.

My heart thundered in its cage. I knew this was wrong.

I knew it was prohibited to get involved with someone without the Council’s approval—without Raúl’s approval.

But I had never experienced such a deep want and desire inside of myself before.

And I desperately wanted to feel wanted .

Chase’s eyes swept back up to mine before gazing down at my lips once again. I could see his hesitation, his own desires, and his better judgment warring within him.

Just do it… Kiss me.

And then he leaned in, coming closer. It took everything within me to keep from shifting toward him to close the gap. I closed my eyes, tipping my chin upward, preparing myself to receive my first kiss.