Page 59 of Dissent (The Dissenter Saga #1)

I didn’t know where I was going, and I didn’t care. For the second time in less than two months, my heart felt like it was breaking in two. I ran. I didn’t even know what direction I was headed in. The wind whipped through my hair, the cold filtering through the fabric of my clothes.

It felt good.

An ache started up in my legs as my muscles stretched with each extension of my limbs, adrenaline coursing through my veins, making my legs faster, stronger.

And I just kept running, needing to get away, to put as much distance between me and everything else, driving me forward.

I was running away from all of it. From Telvia, from the Dissenters, from Raúl and Belinda, from propaganda footage and processing facilities.

I was running from freaking Sasha and Wes.

From Chelsea and Edith. I was even running from Matias.

I was done.

I didn’t know how long I ran for or how far I had gotten, but I came to a point where my chest ached from the exertion, and my legs were wobbly—overworked and fatigued.

My muscles felt like they wouldn’t be able to carry me for much longer, and when they felt like they were going to give out from under me, I slowed and stopped running.

Collapsing onto my knees, I felt the lactic acid building up in my muscles, and the burn in my chest threatened to consume me.

I panted, gasping for oxygen to relieve my lungs of the fire inside them.

My hands rested on my thighs as my eyes closed, and my mind raced through the knowledge that I desperately didn’t want to accept.

I had no place to go.

My family wanted me dead. And Jacob…oh god, Jacob. Was he really no better than Raúl? No better than… her. The memory of the pure joy that Belinda didn’t even try to hide when she beat me into a pulp of torn flesh and blood swept through my mind. And then there was Matias.

Matias .

He had chosen Chelsea, and the sting of hurt and jealousy was back, souring my mouth.

And why shouldn’t he? They had known each other for forever, shared a history of being orphans and only having each other to cling to.

They’d been together before, on and off, according to Edith.

And everyone basically assumed that they would end up together.

Of course, he’d choose her. I’d been here five weeks?

Six? I couldn’t even remember anymore. Time had become warped in this place, and I had lost track of the days.

But I knew I couldn’t compete with the history they shared.

She won.

My vision blurred as the sting of tears welled up in my eyes and then cascaded down my cheeks.

I didn’t hold them back this time. I just let them flow, one after another, sharp breaths leaving my lips as the sobs overtook me.

I buried my face in my hands and I just cried.

Because what else was I going to do? I felt so rejected, so…

worthless . Because no matter what I had to offer, it was never good enough. And I was so over all of it.

I was alone.

Letting myself cry hard was something I hadn’t allowed myself to do since I first sobbed into Matias’s chest at the river.

And it felt good. I found that, although the emotional pain had taken root neatly in my chest, crying helped to make it feel better.

My eyes stung from all the tears, and I could feel a headache coming on, but the release had eased some of the sadness for now.

Enough that I could focus on my surroundings for the first time.

I was still in the woods, but I didn’t recognize any part of them. It was dark, and though my eyes had adjusted to the lack of light, I was still struggling to see. I had no clue where I was, and I cursed myself under my breath as my hands curled into fists at my sides.

I had made the same choice I always made.

I ran. I always ran away from my problems instead of facing them.

And I ran away from them because I didn’t know how to deal with them to begin with.

But running never solved anything, did it?

All it did was leave you with a bigger mess and looking like an idiot when someone had to come get you.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this,” I grumbled as I rubbed my sore eyes. If Edith didn’t stab me with a fork first, Sasha was probably going to stick me back in camping jail. I shook my head with a gruff sigh.

Bing, bing.

The tab flashed. I raised my wrist and flicked the screen, noticing I had several missed messages. Edith had sent me four, asking me where I had gone, and then progressively getting more frantic.

Edith: Hey, where are you?

Edith: Seriously…where are you? I’m supposed to be with you, remember?

Edith: Mara, I’m freaking out. I know shit’s crazy, but message me, ok?

Edith: Mara, I’m serious! Where are you?!?!

A pang of guilt hit me. I took off and didn’t tell her anything.

And I knew Edith was my friend…probably the only friend I had.

I decided I would answer her in just a minute.

I had a few other missed messages, and I wanted to see what those were about first. I swiped my tab, pulling up the rest of the notifications.

There were five of them…all from Matias.

Matias: Mara, where did you go? We need to talk.

Matias: Mara, where are you? Edith says you ran off, but you won’t respond to her messages.

Matias: Please…please message me back. I know you’re mad at me, but at least tell me you’re ok?

Matias: Mara, I’m sorry. I know you’re pissed, and I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, but I’m really starting to worry. Please, message me!

Matias: Where are you?? Talk to me!

Shit. Not only was I going to look like an idiot when I told everyone I just ran blindly into the woods, I also scared the crap out of everybody.

I sighed, resting my hands back in my lap and looking up at the forest canopy.

I had to stop doing this. The first time almost left me as lion chow, and now, god only knew how this was going to end up.

I took several deep breaths. I’d have to deal with explaining why I ran off later, but for now, I needed to get myself back to camp.

Which meant I would just have to shove my pride up my ass and suck it up. Just lovely….

Taking another deep breath, I looked back at my tab and messaged Edith first. I couldn’t deal with Matias right now. That shit was going to have to wait. Edith would be pissed, but I could manage her.

Mara: I’m ok! I’m sorry for worrying you. I lost track of time and didn’t see my messages until just now. This next part is going to make me sound stupid, but I’m lost…again. I’m in the woods somewhere, but I’m not sure where exactly. So, a little help would be good?

Right as I tapped the send button, I heard a branch snap behind me.

I turned my head toward the sound, doing my best to scramble to my feet as I did.

Another twig snapped, causing me to jump.

Crap, I really didn’t need this right now.

My legs felt like jelly. There was no way I was going to run or fight my way out of anything.

Shit, shit, shit!

I looked around me, looking for anything that I could use to help defend myself.

My eyes landed on a fallen branch, fairly clear of any leaves or sticks.

I grabbed it, lifting it up and prepared to hit whatever it was coming my way.

Another snap of a twig, and then, from behind a tree, an older man appeared, dressed in the same jumpsuits that Dissenters wore on missions.

Oh thank god!

“Mara, right? Headquarters has been looking for you. What are you doing out here?”

I shrugged. What else was I to do? Tell him I just thought about going for a midnight stroll? “I know. I got lost. Is the camp close?”

“Not really.”

“Great,” I grouched, feeling like such a dweeb. I tossed the branch to the ground. “Is it possible to get a ride?” Please let a car be nearby. It was taking all my strength to keep me standing right now. My legs throbbed from the earlier run of my life.

He lifted his tab and started typing. “I’ll ask headquarters to send a transport our way. How did you even make it out this far?”

Was I really that far from camp? Yeesh! I didn’t know how to respond to him, so I just shrugged again. “Hormones?” I was trying to be funny, but all it got me was a raised eyebrow and a look that told me he thought I was nuts.

“You know, being this far out isn’t wise. We rarely run scouting patrols out this way. You’re just lucky that I heard you wailing out here and checked it out before heading back to camp.”

Fabulous. So not only did I sound like an idiot, but apparently, I was a wailing idiot.

God, this sucked. “How do you feel about keeping that part between you and me?” I suggested when he suddenly inhaled sharply, his jaw dropping and his eyes flying wide open.

“Oh my god! Are you okay?” I barely had the words out when he dropped to his knees, and behind him was a soldier…

a Telvian soldier. “Oh shit.” I turned to run, but stopped dead when I realized it wasn’t just one Telvian soldier, but five.

I was surrounded.

Oh my god. This was bad. This was really fucking bad. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t run, I didn’t have a weapon, and there was no way I was going to fight off five guys. I was screwed. I put my hands up in the universal gesture of surrender.

“Look what we found here, boys? We found ourselves the President’s daughter.”

Oh my god this was so bad. I was royally and totally screwed. “I really don’t want any trouble, guys.” Lame! Totally lame! But what else was I going to say?

“No trouble. We’ll make sure of that.” I didn’t ask him what he meant. Because at that moment, he raised the rifle he was carrying and fired.

I fell backwards to the floor, my eyes seeing nothing but darkness and the forest canopy as a sting struck my neck.

The sensation slowly traveled down my body until it hit my heart.

And when my heart gave its next beat, the liquid fire spread out in all directions, enveloping me in a burn that told me everything I needed to know.

I was going to die.

None of my muscles worked. I couldn’t lift my legs or arms. I couldn’t even move my lips to form words. My eyes grew heavy as the warmth continued to spread into every inch of my body.

I guess it wasn’t so bad going out this way.

And maybe it was for the best. I didn’t have anything or anyone, anyway.

This…this kind of solved all my problems. Life was a bitch, though.

She had tortured me pretty well. My whole life was a shitshow, but this…

this part was nice. As my eyelids grew so heavy that I could no longer keep them open, I gave out one last breath because this… this was a nice way to die.