Page 48 of Dissent (The Dissenter Saga #1)

I t wasn’t too much longer when we finally drove into the north end of camp.

At one point, Matias had instructed me to send a message on his tab to Giza, letting him know we were coming and to be ready with medical help for Wes.

When I removed my hand from his wound, I gazed briefly in horror as blood just poured out unchecked.

And I thought, for sure, I was going to pass out.

Never in my life had I witnessed so much blood, and watching Wes slowly fading beneath my hands had my soul wrapped in guilt.

I was responsible for Chelsea’s capture, and now I was going to be responsible for Wes’s death.

We didn’t get far into camp before people were on us.

Dissenters with white bands emblazoned with red crosses were at the door of the truck and pulled Wes out.

He was unconscious, limp in their arms as they placed him on a stretcher.

Dr. Jones barked commands, ordering units of blood.

I was frozen, watching the scene unfold in front of me before a hand on my shoulder startled me.

I jerked around to see Matias—that blank expression on his face.

“Come on. We’ve got to meet with Sasha and report back.”

My mind was spinning, and the reality of what I was about to do sank in.

I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to face the punishment that was sure to come my way, but I followed him, not even paying attention as we made it through the camp.

I just kept looking at my hands, covered in drying blood.

It was my fault… A flurry of a familiar fear I hadn’t felt in weeks churned in my gut, and I realized all I could hear was the ringing in my ears.

It didn’t take long for us to arrive at headquarters.

Matias didn’t hesitate as he slipped in through the entryway, and I followed behind him, doing everything I could to settle the nausea in my stomach.

Sasha stood at the round table—her hair in a long braid, resting along her right shoulder.

She clearly hadn’t had time to change because she was dressed in a plush cotton robe, bundled up against the evening chill.

Sergeant Major Giza stood right behind her, dressed, per usual, in his uniform.

I was suddenly hyperaware of our appearance. Matias’s jumpsuit was torn in various places, covered in soot and ash. His face was muddy from dirt mixed with blood that must have come from the scratch he had along the side of his face. I wasn’t better off. I was covered in dirt, blood, and shame.

Her eyes swept over us, taking us in, until her gaze paused for a few extra seconds on me—her expression unreadable.

I knew she had figured out that I went along.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that I disobeyed orders.

The guilt surged again—that familiar fear swirling inside—and suddenly, the urge to turn and run struck me.

Memories of being surrounded by darkness—alone, hungry, and afraid—invaded my mind’s eye.

Sasha settled back in her chair, a calm expression on her face, but I could see the flames burning in her eyes. “What happened?”

Matias glanced at me before taking a deep breath and telling her the main points of what had occurred.

I was only half paying attention, though.

I was too busy trying to keep my fear and guilt in check.

I couldn’t help but notice, however, that he skipped how I ended up joining them on this little excursion.

“It’s a mining facility. They’re pulling tons of it out of the mountain. We’re not really too sure what it is, though. There was also a factory, and they have a building where they’re storing everything, but they’re manufacturing something too.”

Giza’s stony gaze shifted into curiosity. “Did you get a sample?”

Matias nodded. “Yeah, we did. Not of the resource they’re mining, but we grabbed one of the chips they’re making.”

“A chip?” Sasha’s stoic expression faltered for only a second, but then was quickly put back together. “What sort of chip?”

Matias shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s small though, about the size of a grain of rice.

And there are thousands of them.” He took another deep breath, preparing himself for what he planned to say next.

“We tried to look for any documents, instructions, anything that would help us figure out what they’re making.

But we couldn’t find anything, and we ran out of time.

Wes set an explosive where they were manufacturing everything, but before we could get out, they were on us. I…I think they knew we were coming.”

My heart sank. What? I turned to look at him, to ask him why he thought that, but Sasha spoke first.

“Why?”

“Everything was just too easy. The back entrance had one guard. There was an open window with easy access. And even though the place was crawling with soldiers on the south side, the building was empty—completely deserted. There were no locked doors, no guards standing by. It just didn’t make any sense.

Wes realized it first, that something didn’t feel right.

It’s why he set the explosive. He was worried that we had walked into a trap and thought that the explosion might help create a diversion. ”

Matias looked down for a moment, appearing to collect his thoughts, taking a deep steading breath before looking back at Sasha.

“If he hadn’t set the explosive, they would have caught all three of us.

When we tried to leave, we were surrounded.

But the bomb went off, and that gave us an opportunity to escape.

Wes was shot, and Chelsea got caught in the woods as we tried to make it back to the truck. ”

Sasha clicked her tongue, and I could just see the wheels turning in her head. “Were you followed?”

“I don’t think so. Shortly after Chelsea was caught, I didn’t hear them behind us anymore.” Matias’s expression darkened as he tipped his head down to look at the floor. “I purposefully drove around away from the camp for quite some time before I brought us back.”

My eyes widened at his admission. No wonder why the drive seemed to take forever.

Because it did! And the extra time Matias took to ensure we hadn’t been followed meant extra time Wes spent bleeding out.

Matias’s choice meant sacrificing Wes’s life.

If he died, I wouldn’t be the only one with blood on my hands.

Sasha nodded, recognizing the same unspoken truth.

The truth we all knew and was clearly weighing heavily on Matias’s heart.

Her expression softened. “You did correctly, Matias. We must protect the location of our camp at all costs. Failure to do so means the death of us, and the death of our cause.” He didn’t look up, but he nodded to acknowledge her words.

We sat in silence for a few seconds before she spoke again. “Where is the chip that was recovered?”

This time, he lifted his head, meeting her gaze and standing up straighter as he steeled himself. “Chelsea had the chip.”

Nothing happened. Giza’s stare went blank, and Sasha did nothing but close her eyes. Time stretched, sending my insides twisting and turning into knots that threatened to make me vomit. I breathed in deeply through my nose, but the growing tightness in my chest made it increasingly difficult.

Finally, Sasha opened her eyes and looked at me.

“Do not think that your presence here has gone unnoticed, Miss de la Puente. I am no fool. You disobeyed my orders, as did your peers, for letting you go along. I warned you, child, not to misinterpret my graciousness as endless forgiveness. Your presence there tonight could have very well caused the lives of your peers. It was reckless and disobedient, and I cannot have that behavior in my ranks.”

The anxiety that I’d been trying to smother resurged within me. The ringing returned as my heart threatened to hammer itself through my chest. I had nothing to say to her.

She was right.

I knew it the second Chelsea fell limp behind me in the woods. I knew it as I sat on Wes’s lap, trying to push against the liquid life that flowed out of him.

It was my fault.

It was my fault when Chase died, and now it was my fault again. I was going to be responsible for both of their deaths, and that knowledge raked itself along the flesh of my soul.

***

The cool night air hit my face, and I sucked it in greedily.

I was shaking—every part of me trembling from leftover adrenaline, fear, and shame.

The cool breeze made me shiver, my blood-soaked clothing wet and sticky against my skin.

I stared at myself, at my hands, reddish brown as Wes’s blood dried, and I finally allowed the tears to fall.

I started rubbing my hands together, trying desperately to get the blood off.

But all I did was smear it around. I started vigorously wiping them on my thighs, desperate to wash the evidence of my guilt away.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Matias stood beside me, putting a gentle hand on my lower back while his other hand steadied my own. “It’s okay. Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned up.”

He guided me through camp, passing by several tents until we came up to one I hadn’t seen before.

Pulling back the flap and ushered me in.

It was dark, but within a minute, light from a lantern hanging in the center of the tent cut through and brightened the space.

Much like the training center, there were racks of uniforms, shirts, pants, and other miscellaneous bits of clothing.

Boots were lined up against the back wall, stacks of towels and washcloths were piled high on tables, and several sheets hung from the ceiling of the canvas tent, creating little changing rooms.

Matias walked to the table with towels, grabbed several of them, and then pulled fresh clothing from the racks.

He was by me in moments, placing everything on the ground, before wiping his face and hands with a washcloth.

I grabbed one from the stack and followed suit, trying to soak up as much of the blood as I could.

As we worked, I could feel the silent tension building.

Much had happened in such little time, and there was so much frustration, leftover anxiety, and guilt, not to mention the words he had spoken to me before this whole mess.

The ones that left me angry and hurt. Yeah, that was still a sore spot for me.

The silence stretched, and the longer it went on, the more I felt as though my skin was crawling with ants. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I turned to speak, but he must have felt the same way because he spoke before I had a chance.

“You can use those rooms there to change into clean clothes,” he said as he pointed to the sheets hanging from the ceiling. “I’ll walk you back afterward.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Idiot! That was all I could say? Why was it I froze like this all the freaking time? I wanted to say so much more.

Do you really think I’m selfish?

I’m sorry I got Chelsea captured.

Wes is going to die, and it’s all my fault.

Edith says you like me, is it true?

Or what about, I really like you too.

But no!

I couldn’t muster any of that. Accepting my inability to make any fruitful conversation around this boy, I grabbed a clean shirt, pants, and one more towel, and then marched into a room.

I stripped off the soiled clothing, wiped down my body the best I could, and then put on the clean garments.

Having wrapped the dirty things in the towel, I stepped back out into the space.

Matias was waiting, wearing clean clothes as well. He looked up to see me, a faint smile crossing his lips, and then we just stared at one another. My insides wrung themselves out with nervous energy. His eyes flickered, and then he took steps toward me.

One step, then another.

I was glued, immobilized by the anticipation slowly rising within me, spreading like flame catching oil.

And before I knew it, he was standing right in front of me, only inches apart.

I could sense the energy of his body just at the edge, almost within grasp.

The urge to reach out was strong, a fierce desire to touch his firm chest and cup his cheek.

But I stayed immobile, staring into the depths of those brown eyes.

I was a willing captive—the yearning ratcheting up within me, threatening. And just as I thought I couldn’t take it any longer, he raised his hand toward my face and drew down his own closer to mine, tipping his head to the side.

This was it. At long last, I was going to feel the delicious sensation of his lips against mine.

My mind tumbled into a tangle of thoughts as I felt my breath catch in my throat.

I closed my eyes, ready to receive him. But then…

he didn’t. My cheek was met with the roughness of a towel, rubbing back and forth.

Opening my eyes, I realized he was cleaning something off my face.

“Wha…what are you doing?”

“Hold on,” he stroked. “There. You had some blood left on your cheek.”

I was such an idiot. “Oh, uh, thank you. I appreciate that.”

“No problem. I’ll take that,” he said as he gathered the laundry from my arms and stepped away from me. Letting out a quiet, disappointed sigh, I watched as he walked over to the corner and dumped the dirty linen into a bin before heading for the door. “Coming?”

My lips pressed themselves together as I tried to settle the chaos of emotions within me. It had been a long night, and I had a feeling it wasn’t over yet.