Page 80 of Deliverance

My posture is stiff and rigid as I stand there awkwardly, twisting my hands together as I speak.

“Can we…talk?”

I half expect her to say no, to tell me to fuck off and get out of her life. I should have known, though. She’s too good for that. She nods, slowly standing up as she leads me up the stairs. I feel all the guys’ eyes on us as we do, but I don’t pay them any mind as we make our way into what I’m assuming is Skyla’s bedroom.

We both take a seat on the edge of her bed, facing each other before she speaks first.

“So, you and Bridgette?” she asks.

I nod, pain aching inside me.

“Kinda. Not really. I mean, not anymore, you know,” I say as I run my hand through my thick hair.

Skyla watches me, patiently waiting for me to continue, as I sigh.

“As soon as she realized people were watching me console her in the dining hall, she shoved me to the ground. She called me a nasty lesbian and ran away crying,” I lie.

Fuck, I don’t know why I lie. Maybe it makes me feel better for sympathizing with Bridgette. For staying by her side. For kissing her and wanting so much more. For loving her even when I hate her.

“What’s wrong with me?” I ask, my stupid fucking voice giving out once more. “Why does it have to be her? She’s mean and vindictive and a fucking cunt. So, why the fuck do I still want her?”

I feel a tear drip down my face, and Skyla frowns, pulling me into her. I sob into her neck, not able to stop it now that it’s started. I feel like my chest is literally being broken in half. It hurts worse than any conversion therapy bullshit Harry has ever put me through. It hurts so fucking badly. I want it to stop. I need it to stop.

“I’m sorry I was even worried about her today,” I say truthfully. “She attacked you. I should have been checking on you, not the other way around.”

Skyla gives me a sympathetic smile as she pulls away.

“It’s okay, Maggie. You like her, you saw her hurt. If that was one of my guys, I’d have felt the same way.”

“You’re not mad at me?” I frown.

She shakes her head. “I’m just sorry she’s putting you through the wringer like this.”

I let out a sarcastic laugh and shake my head.

“It is what it is. She’s just so afraid of being labeled. She can’t get out of her own way to realize how happy we were over this summer. We had the house to ourselves while our parents were out of town; we spent all day together and every night in bed. It was…perfect.”

I trail off for a moment, flashes of this perfect summer flickering through my mind before I shake my head, forcing them away.

“Whatever, though. I need to be done. After the plate thing, and then today? I can’t have that kind of toxicity in my life any more than required.”

Skyla twists her mouth up sympathetically.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you can do much better.”

Yeah, I wish. Not sure it gets better, as stupid as that sounds. I do my best to break the tension, giving Sky a half smile.

“If this is the part where you admit that you’ve been in love with me this whole time and want me to join the harem, you have to let me fix myself up first,” I say as I wave my hand over my face.

Skyla throws her head back, laughing as she shakes her head.

“You caught me. I’m down bad.”

“Psh, they always are,” I say with a roll of my eyes.

Fake it ‘till you make it, right?

“I should probably get going,” I say as I stand up. “I’m massively behind on econ.”