Page 121 of Deliverance

“No! You don’t get it! You don’t!” she says, her head whipping wildly around before landing on her mini kitchen. She reaches over to the knife block, pulling out the largest knife she finds before pressing it to her throat.

My eyes widen in shock, and I freeze.

“Put the knife down,” I say evenly.

“NO!” she screams, her body shaking as she sobs. “No! If you do this, if you break up with me, then you have to live with ending me, too! I can’t let you go, Maggie. I can’t fail.”

“Babe,” I say, holding my hands up as I take a small step towards her. “You didn’t fail anything. It’s not you failing, it’s just us not meshing. You deserve someone better, something better.”

“There is no one else!” she snaps, holding the knife more steady as she takes a step back from me.

“Maryia, put the knife down. Please,” I ask calmly.

“Tell me you’re not leaving me! That you’ll stay with me!”

Is she fucking serious?

Her nostrils flare and she jerks the knife just barely. It’s enough to catch a chunk of skin, and a thin line of blood begins running down her neck.

“No!” I shout. “Okay, okay. I’ll stay. We-we’ll make it work. Just give me the knife, babe. Can you do that?”

Tears are still pouring down her face as she shakes, watching me like she doesn’t quite trust me.

“You promise?”

“I promise,” I say as I take another small step towards her.

“You’ll never leave me?”

“I’ll never leave you,” I say, adrenaline thrumming in my body as I take another careful step towards her.

She lets me get closer. Another step and another and another before I stop just inches from her.

“Tell me you love me.”

I never have before. She’s told me she loves me plenty of times, but I’ve never returned it. I don’t feel it’s something you should just say for the sake of saying it. Especially when you don’t feel it. It’s not like I can say that right now, though.

“I love you, Maryia. Please don’t hurt yourself. Don’t hurt my girlfriend, okay?”

Something in that seems to pacify her. Whether it’s the girlfriend part or the I love you, I can see the tension melting from her body. She allows me to get close enough to her, and I grab the knife from her hand, tossing it across the room. Maryia dissolves into a fit of sobs, curling into my arms as I slide us down to the floor. We stay there for I don’t know how long, her body never running out of tears as she buries herself into me, while I contemplate what the fuck to do.

Chapter Forty Three

Bridgette

I waited for Maggie to text me back for three hours. I won’t even lie that panic and hysteria were in full control. My emotions were running rampant, and all I could think about was that she changed her mind, she could never forgive me, we could never move forward. I clutched the letter she sent me, agreeing that we get a place together this summer, to my chest the entire time. Relief only came to me when I saw her message come through. Then, earth shattering disappointment.

Maggie: Rain check. Something has come up with M. I’ll text you soon.

Something has come up? What the fuck has come up? What the hell does that even mean? She went over there to break up with her. We had a date planned, and now she’s standing me up…for her?

A sour feeling hits my stomach, one reminiscent of the one I used to feel constantly when I was trapped in my endless Asher Putnam cycle. Maggie isn’t like him, though. They aren’t the same. There has to be an explanation. I’m sure as fuck curious as to what it could be, though.

It takes several more hours before a knock comes at my door. I set down my Chinese takeout, pushing it to the side as I cross the room. When I open it, Maggie is standing there looking absolutely exhausted.

“What happened?” I ask.

She shakes her head as she steps inside. I close the door as she paces for a moment, digging her hands into her hair.