Page 9 of Degradation (The Brethren Lords #3)

Pailtyn

I t’s happening. I know it. I can feel it.

I feel like I’m on a Ferris wheel, a merry-go-round that’s spinning faster and faster and it’s out of control, but I can’t stop it. I can’t.

I barely got any sleep last night and though my makeup is perfect, my hair pristine, I feel like an absolute wreck as I stand here, and I also feel like everyone else can see it.

My hands are trembling so badly I have to curl them into little fists. My uncle stands to my right and my mother to my left. They feel more like prison guards in this moment than family.

Gunther is stood with his back to us, having a conversation with someone while all the Senate behind him. I study their faces in their long fancy red robes, and, though they all seem to hold neutral expressions, something about their body language tells me they’re not happy about any of this.

My stomach twists more as that realisation sinks in. Antonio’s words ring out in my head. His warnings. This is a mistake. This is treason. I can feel it in my very bones and yet, there is nothing I can do about it.

I glance around the hall, noting the smiles of all the other girls, the way their families all stand in similar poses.

Jesus, no one here wants this, do they? We’re all pawns, every single one of us.

We’re all marionettes caught up in the whims of this man who can do what he likes, can be who he likes…

except, he can’t. Not really. He may have power but it’s not unlimited.

He may be Chapter Lord, but he still answers to our Grand Master.

And if he oversteps, if he grows too bold, there will be consequences.

I know this. Everyone knows this. Besides, it wasn’t that long ago that we had a living example of that – every Brethren knows the story, even though it was meant to be a secret.

The Chapter Lord of the United States fumbled things so much an entire city went up in flames.

His incompetence almost revealed what we are, who we are, to the entire world.

What if that happens here? What if all of this comes back and bites us all on the arse?

I tremble more, feeling sick from the amount of adrenaline swirling inside me.

“Paitlyn?” My mother whispers, clearly sensing how close to crumbling I am.

“Behave.” My uncle cuts across her. He moves his hand discreetly and pinches me through the fabric of my dress.

It’s enough to hurt. It’s enough to make me wince.

I don’t get time to do anything else as Gunther turns and the room falls to a hushed, expectant silence.

Pearce pushes me forward. All the other girls are now in a nice little line and I’m thankfully to the side, not noticeable. Not prominent.

Gunther’s stern gaze sweeps across us and even from this distance, I can feel the weight of his eyes as they pause on me. It takes everything I have to fight the urge to squirm.

Instead, I smile, demure and sweet, just as my mother has taught me. Just as I have been brought up to behave.

“Paitlyn, step forward.” His voice booms, echoing off the stone walls.

I hesitate for a moment, surprise flickering across my face. I’m not sure if it’s feigned or genuine, but it seems to please the small crowd watching all of this. They murmur approvingly as I take one heavy step and then another.

My heart pounds against my chest as I come to stop beside Gunther. He takes my hand, his grip firm, and raises it high, and it’s so fast he almost yanks my bone out of the socket.

“Your new Chapter Lady,” he announces, and the hall erupts into cheers.

I stand there, smiling, trying to look as shocked and honoured as everyone expects me to be. And I am, in a way. It’s just... not how I imagined my life would go.

But this is the Brethren way. This is what God has decided for me – I keep repeating that over. Repeating it like a mantra. That it will be okay. Everything will be okay. This is God’s plan.

My mother and Pearce rush to me as soon as the ceremony ends, their faces glowing with pride. My mother pulls me into a tight embrace, her perfume enveloping me.

“I’m so proud of you. This is the best thing to happen to our family.

” She whispers, her voice choked with emotion.

I stare back at her wondering if she’s on something.

Surely, she’s not as deluded as that? Surely, she must know that despite the power, the prestige, this is wrong. All of this is wrong.

I don’t bother to look at my uncle. I don’t want to see his joy, his pride. I don’t want anything to do with it. I just keep my mouth shut, my smile fixed, as people seem to surround me, as they seem to gush over me like I’m suddenly worth noticing.