Page 14 of Degradation (The Brethren Lords #3)

The priest pushes my legs apart and I whimper more, shutting my eyes, but I can feel it, I can feel the prodding, the way something pulls at me, at my core, opening me up to the cold air.

I’m being inspected, being examined. I don’t know what they’re expecting to find.

Do they really think I wouldn’t be pure?

Between my mother and Antonio, I’d never have dared do such a thing, and besides, when would I have had the chance?

I don’t leave our house. I’m not even permitted to be in the same room as any man.

The only way I could lose my virginity is if I’d chosen to fuck myself with that wooden thing my mother makes me practice on, and what would be the point to that? Why would I do that? My only value is my maidenhead. I wouldn’t choose to destroy the one thing that gives me worth.

“She is untouched.” The priest states loudly.

My face flames as he says those words. As if everyone here even believed there was a chance I wouldn’t pass this test.

“She is also ovulating.” The priest adds quietly, saying those words low enough that only I and Gunther hear them.

“You’re certain?” Gunther replies quickly.

The priest shrugs slightly. “The signs are there. I’d put money on it and a wedding night baby…”

Gunther’s whole body seems to react to that. “That would show them, that would shut them all up, prove that a Founder is the right choice, that God approves of this marriage, of me…”

I dare to look at him as he continues to ramble. He looks like he wants this more than anything, that a child is the sole motive for this marriage. I bite my lip, worrying more. Is that why he wanted me, my bloodline? But he already has sons, he has children, grown children.

Someone else clears their throat, as if they too are realising that Gunther right now is going completely off script.

He frowns, looking momentarily confused and then he drops his gaze back to me.

“Proceed with the ceremony.” He orders.

Hands grab at me. My limbs are pulled further apart.

I’m held down, spread-eagle as the Senate surround us, though now they’re on their knees.

That chanting increases to the level where they’re practically shouting, and I want to tell them to shut up.

To just shut up. The noise is driving me crazy.

The fact that they’re all around us, and that incense is still flooding my lungs.

I let out a cry as someone cuts the palm of my hand and Gunther grabs hold of it, pressing his own bloodied hand into the wound.

“Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust…” I can’t hear. I can only grasp at words.

Gunther is saying something, but I don’t understand one bit of it. He stands there, his hand clasped in mine as he starts delivering a sermon, starts citing one reading after another from our bible.

“Wives submit to their husbands as they do the Lord.” He declares.

I nod as much as I dare. I’m not even sure if this moment here is for me or for the rest of the Brethren. He goes on and on, labouring his point. I’m almost grateful for it, grateful that he’s distracted but he is only putting off the inevitable.

When he finally runs out of steam he stands there, staring, as if daring someone in the audience to stand up and challenge him.

“Chapter Lord?” One of the Senate say after what feels like minutes of awkward silence.

He blinks rapidly, looking around before his eyes land back on me.

I don’t know what to do. Do I smile? Do I hold his gaze? What is the appropriate response?

He drops his eyes, staring between my legs, at where I’m still being held open.

“Prepare her.” He barks. That confusion twisting into something almost demonic.

I don’t mean to do it, I swear I don’t, but I cry out as my tunic is ripped right off, as my entire naked body is now revealed to the room. The Senate may be here, all knelt by the crucifix but the way the seats are all stacked up on tiers allows everyone here to get a clear view of this, of me.

I shut my eyes, trying to steady my breathing and I can feel that I’m trembling.

I just want this over with now. I need this done.

Gunther undoes his robes, making a great show of it. I don’t know what I expect to see when he tosses them off but the fact that he’s entirely naked, that makes me panic more. I imagined him to have something on underneath, something to make this less indecent.

He’s hard. His dick is there, fully erect and it bobs a little as he pads towards me.

His belly is fat and round. A little round, hairy belly that pushes out beyond his frame making him look more comical than dangerous. But the way he’s moving, the way he’s strutting towards me, and that look in his eyes doesn’t feel very funny, doesn’t feel amusing in anyway.

He crawls on top of my body. His skin covers mine and maybe it’s because mine’s now so sensitive from being scrubbed raw but his feels rough, scratchy, like he needs a bath.

I can feel his hot breath on me as he pants.

I can feel the callouses on his fingers as he runs them up the sides of my body before he gropes my breasts, pinches my nipples, physically manhandles me like I’m just a piece of meat.

And the groan he gives out, that noise rings out for everyone to hear and it only amplifies my shame.

I can feel that thing dangling between my legs, I can feel something sticky touching me. He drags his lips across my shoulder, my neck, leaving a trail of saliva that makes me squirm more.

He reaches down, as if he needs to push my legs further apart, though there’s no need to because the Senate are holding my ankles more than wide enough for what is necessary.

As his dick touches my core, I lock up.

“Wait,” I whisper. I just need a moment. One more moment to prepare myself.

He narrows his eyes, bucks his hips, and forces himself into me with all the brutality he can muster.

I scream. I scream so loud.

I don’t mean to. I don’t even realise I’m doing it until his hand slams against my mouth and he tries to silence me.

It hurts. It hurts so much as he pushes his way as far inside me as he can physically get.

Tears stream down my cheeks, I sob against him as he slides himself out and then does it again, slams himself right into me, hard enough that I jolt back an inch despite all the hands holding me down.

“I am your husband.” He mutters. “I own you now, and I can and will use you however I choose.”

I want to nod, I want to show to him that I agree, that I’m obedient, that I’ll be good but it’s too much, this pain is too much. He tears at me, his dick rips my insides and I can feel the way my body is refusing to give way. The way I’m ripping, the way I’m bleeding.

For me, it’s absolute agony, but for him, for Gunther, he’s clearly getting off on it.

“Sweet virgin pussy.” He grunts, bucking his hips, fucking me with more of a rhythm now. Around us are snickers, laughter from the stalls. Clearly, our audience is more than enjoying this consummation.

I can’t hold it in, I can’t keep my composure anymore. I start sobbing harder as he bucks and grunts.

And then his hands wrap around my throat. I open my eyes, meeting those blue-grey almost colourless ones. Is this it, is this a sign that he’s almost done?

“As Jesus died and was reborn,” The Senate chant in unison, “You too shall be reborn. You are no longer a Brethren Daughter. You will be purged of your sins, purged of your taint. You will be reborn pure. Reborn obedient. And reborn ready to serve as our Chapter Lady.”

I can hear the words, I can feel his hands, but they feel too tight, too restrictive.

My mother said this was symbolic. A gesture and no more.

But I’m struggling to get any breath in.

Maybe it’s the incense, maybe it’s my fear, but I’m gasping, twisting, trying to get free of all those foreign hands that hold me down.

“Reborn.” The Senate chant over and over. “Reborn free from sin.”

Gunther is still fucking me, still ravaging my body but that horror is no longer my concern. It’s what his hands are doing, it’s that look in his eyes as he’s staring down at me.

Oh god, I think I’m going to die here.

Is he angry at me? Did I do something wrong to warrant this? I can’t even scream because his hands are too tight to allow my voice box to work.

My feet are kicking, my toes are stretched out. My body is doing everything it can to try to survive but I can’t beat them, I can’t beat him.

Surely, he’s going to relent, any second now he’s going to ease up and it’ll all be over.

Only, instead, he tightens his grip even more. He lowers his face so that his nose is touching mine.

“Please.” I mouth the word and all it does is draw a twisted smile from his lips.

“Die.” He says back. “Die and be reborn.”

Spots prickle my sight. Great dots seem to get bigger and bigger. My blood is screaming in my ears. My heart is slamming so hard into my chest I think it might explode.

My hands try to claw at something, anything but there’s no way to fight with the way they hold me.

I just want to breathe.

I gasp out, choking on the last bit of air that I have and then everything goes dark, everything just stops.