Page 39 of Degradation (The Brethren Lords #3)

Pailtyn

K ora was right, being in the sunshine helps. The warmth soothes and, if I close my eyes and pretend hard enough, I can imagine what it will be like when I am a widow. When Gunther is dead, and I am free.

God, please let that be the outcome, let that be my fate . I’ll retire from the world, I’ll become a hermit, a recluse, and I’ll never have to smile and pretend and do anything I don’t want to ever again.

I’ve been coming here every day for the last week.

It’s not like I have anything else to do.

Gunther has ignored me this entire time, he hasn’t touched me once.

Maybe he’s just waiting until I’m fully recovered before he brutalises me again, but the waiting is killing me.

It’s like a new form of torture when all I want to do is welcome the brittle peace while I have it.

My maids give me a little space when we’re here, walking the perimeter, allowing me to disappear into my own head with no pressure to engage them in conversation. It’s a tiny bit of something that I treasure so so much.

But as I turn to pick up the book Ada leant me, I see Guthrie standing in the gateway. My heart races, and I glance around nervously, expecting Gunther to appear at any moment.

Only, he’s not there.

I haven’t seen Guthrie since the night he woke me up, and I’m certain Gunther has kept him busy on that mysterious task.

In the daylight, I can make out his features better. He really does look like Gunther, but he’s more grotesque, more disgusting. It’s as if he’s a twisted caricature of his brother.

He saunters over like he’s some sort of Casanova and he plonks himself right beside me. My nerves spike, my heart starts to beat faster.

“What, what do you want?” I stammer.

Kora and Ada are nearby, so I’m technically not alone, but they’re out of earshot, and besides, they don’t hold any power here.

He runs his eyes over me in such a predatory way, and it turns my stomach.

“I missed your pretty face.” He says, like he’s known me for years.

I blink back, unsure how to reply. We both know what my husband said all those nights ago. But right now, Guthrie feels like a cannon about to go off.

He places his hand on my thigh, high on my thigh, and that makes me jolt.

“No.” I state. “My husband said you were off limits.” I don’t know if that’s actually true or not, Gunther may have said that once but the way his behaviour waxes and wanes, he could well have changed his mind.

Guthrie grins at me. “He’s preoccupied right now.” He murmurs. “And from what I’ve heard, everyone in the Palace has had a good go at you, already. What’s one more cock when you’ve already entertained hundreds?”

I jump up, swallowing down the bile. “I’m not, I’m…” My thoughts spiral as the insult lands. “I’m a dutiful wife. I do as my husband bids.” I say, wondering if this is a new trap. Is he here, is Gunther hiding behind a bush, watching this all play out?

Guthrie sneers, getting to his feet, with one hand he starts undoing his belt, and with the other he reaches for me. “Suck my cock, bitch, suck it, or I’ll tell my brother how I found you on the grass, with your legs spread, begging the guards to all come and fuck you.”

I can see it, I can see exactly how that would play out. Gunther wouldn’t need telling twice, he’d be all over it, he’d no doubt be delighted to have an excuse to punish me again.

For a second, I consider just suffering this latest bit of degradation but then a voice in my head screams at me to run and I’m picking up my feet, sprinting away, running as fast as I can. Praying that for once, just one time, I might be spared a beating.

Guthrie follows after me. He’s hot on my tails, and I can hear his feet thundering behind as I race from room to room.

In my panic, I run straight into something hard. Something solid. I step back, bile twisting inside me as I realise it’s the Commander of the Guards.

His expression is one of fury as he grabs hold of me and demands to know what the hell I’m doing in this part of the Palace?

I blink, looking around and realise I have no idea where I am. I was so busy trying to get away I didn’t register where my feet where actually taking me.

He tightens his grip, shaking me for good measure. “Talk bitch.” He says.

“I, I… he was chasing me.” I stammer. “The Chapter Lord’s brother, he was…”

“Which guard was on duty?” The Commander says, dismissing my words as if I’m talking nonsense. “Who was meant to be watching you?”

I don’t think, I don’t register what I’m saying until the words are out of my mouth. “The tall one, the big one, the monster guard.” It’s a desperate attempt to protect myself, to shift the blame onto someone else. I know it’s reckless, but in this moment, it’s either him or me.

He escorts me back to my room, his grip around my arm the entire time like he thinks I’ll turn and run at the first chance. Every step I take feels like I’m walking to my doom, that at any moment, Guthrie will step out, will appear and the Commander will just hand me over and leave me to my fate.

As I’m shoved inside, I see Ada and Kora waiting for me.

They’re silent until we’re alone and then they start apologising, insisting that they didn’t know Guthrie would be there, that we can be more careful in future.

But I know that’s a lie. I know now that the gardens too are off-limits.

I can’t go anywhere, I can’t risk anything beyond hiding in these walls, and even that doesn’t ensure my safety.

I sink onto the couch, wondering what consequences Devin will face.

It’s going to make it worse, make him worse. I know that. I’m aware of that. Is it wrong to hope he might be kicked out? Do I dare hope that that is the outcome?