Page 11 of Degradation (The Brethren Lords #3)

Pailtyn

I should be in bed, I should be asleep and yet my mind won’t switch off. It’s the night before my wedding, the night before everything in my life changes for the worse.

I convince myself that I’m just going to make a drink, but as my feet walk silently through the house, the temptation to slip out the door, to disappear into the night and to disappear forever grows.

I could do it. I could grab a few things, a few valuable items. It wouldn’t be enough to set me up for life, but it would be a start.

I chew my lip, imagining what such a life would entail.

I barely know anything outside these four walls, outside this world created for me, outside the Brethren.

I know there’s more, I know so many millions of people exist with jobs and houses, and they live and die with no knowledge that we control it all.

It hits me then how utterly ignorant I am. How intentionally ignorant they’ve made me.

Leaving here might be saving me from one horrific fate, but I have no idea what dangers could be out there, could be lurking.

I shut my eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat, and continue on, past that tempting oak door and down the staircase towards the kitchens. But as my feet find the final step, I hear voices. Hushed voices.

“...just trust the process.”

“She’s barely more than a child, Pearce.”

“And all the better for it. She’s easier to mould, to bend.”

I freeze, pressing myself against the cold wall, listening to what I know I shouldn’t be hearing.

“She will do her duty.” He continues. “She will give him sons, and then we will make our move.”

“You’re so certain of it.”

“Vera,” My uncle half snaps, “you know as well as I that this is the right path. I’m done having our lives dictated to, I’m done bending to the wills of them, those bloody Americans. With Paitlyn’s bloodline, we can change everything.”

I hear my mother huff; I hear her make that same sound she always does when she’s not convinced but can’t be bothered to argue anymore.

“Just do your part,” My uncle instructs. “Ensure Paitlyn does hers, and in a few years’ time, we’ll be laughing.”

I wrinkle my nose at the tone. It’s obvious what he’s implying, that they sell me out, use me, and when Gunther finally becomes too frail to rule, Pearce will step in, he will control everything.

I’m being set up, sold, just as I knew I was, but it’s not for my own future, it’s for theirs.

I shut my eyes, trying to steady the panic that threatens to overwhelm me.

I could run. I could run right now and then… The sound of approaching footsteps makes my stomach drop in horror. One of them is heading for the door, heading right to where I am.

I don’t doubt that if they catch me here, eavesdropping, my uncle will certainly beat me. He’s not opposed to getting his hands dirty when it suits him, and I’m sure he’d rather I walk down the aisle as a battered bride then not at all.

I swallow down the cry and sprint back down the hall, I just need to get back to my room, back to my bed and pretend none of this happened.

And then what? The thought hits me as I make it up the stairs, as I get onto the ornate landing of the second floor.

“Where have you been?” Rebecca hisses, grabbing my arm, hauling me the last of the way to my bedroom.

“I was just…”

“Never mind.” She says quickly. “Get into bed, they’ll be checking in on you any moment.”

I nod my head, rushing over to where the fourposter is, and I slip under the covers, pulling them up enough to hide my face because I doubt I can keep any sort of control over my features.

Tomorrow, I marry Gunther. Tomorrow, I become Chapter Lady.

I can’t get out of it. I can’t escape this.

I’m fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.