Page 65

Story: Dead to Me

Aria was out of it. Really out of it. Muttering to him about dragons chasing her down before turning to him with huge eyes and promising she’d never tell anyone anything. Whatever they’d given her had done its work.

They stumbled and swayed their way away from the group, darkness coming down over them like a cloak.

James gave a half-smile. Almost home and dry.

But then there were jogging footsteps and a call came from behind him.

James rounded on his bodyguard with a sigh and waved a hand towards him as if he were drunk, and not inwardly screaming with tension.

‘Sod off, Ned,’ he said. ‘We’re only going five feet that way.’ He pulled Aria– or whatever it was she was really called– closer towards him and gave Ned an appealing look. He dropped his voice. ‘Can we have a couple of minutes of space, you know?’

Ned blinked at him, clearly surprised by this turn of events. It made James cringe, seeing the reaction. He hated the idea that he was being seen as some kind of a cheat, but it was better than the alternative.

So much better.

Tomorrow, he’d just have to convince Ned that he’d been drunk and confused. That the anniversary had made him emotional.

Ned started to back away, and James gave him a grateful grin and then turned Aria’s stumbling form round once again. He knew where he needed to take her. He’d thought this through hours ago, because sometimes you had to plan for everything going to shit.

He was leading her past the edge of the college, between the buildings and the river. They passed the platform for the punts– the last few people were cramming themselves into boats to watch the fireworks display from the river– and drew her onwards.

He saw the cobbles in front of him light up in flickering red, and a moment later an explosion sounded.

The fireworks, seven minutes late and absolutely when he needed them.

In the sudden illumination he could see the unglamorous side exit to the college: the big refuse bins and the gate beyond. It was flanked by two security guards and the St John’s Ambulance crew. All there, ready and waiting for disaster.

He felt his heart thumping as he approached, remembering walking down here a year ago. How they’d wheeled Holly’s lifeless form towards the open gates.

‘James,’ Anna said, ‘there are snakes in the grass.’

‘No snakes,’ he said as soothingly as he could. ‘And no grass. It’s just the drugs. Look. We’re on paving slabs.’

They were within clear sight of the four staff members– two security and two ambulance– when Anna turned and said, ‘You can’t take me to Addenbrooke’s. They’ll find me. You have to hide me, James.’

‘It’s all right,’ he said. ‘I’ve got a plan.’ And he turned and looked at her with a level gaze. ‘I just need you to be quiet and go along with it, all right? Just act normal, and I’ll get you out of here.’

Anna’s pupils were huge in the explosions of light from above. What the fuck had they given her? Was she going to be able to hold this together?

But she nodded at him, and he smiled.

‘OK. Here we go.’

He wrapped a steadying arm round her and approached the first of the St John’s Ambulance crew. A bubble of hope rose in him as he realised he recognised him. He’d been here the year before. He’d seen Holly. Spoken to James.

He’d remember him, wouldn’t he? People remembered tragedies like that.

‘I… I’m sorry,’ James said, giving him a shaky smile. ‘I’m really sorry, I… I don’t know if you remember, but my– my girlfriend drowned last year. While the– the fireworks were on. I thought I could do it, be here and remember her… but I can’t. I need to go. We need to go. Now.’

The sympathy and understanding in the man’s eyes made him feel a little sick. What kind of a person was he? Really?

But he felt nothing but relief as the first-aider went to talk to the security team, who nodded and opened the gate for him.

‘Thank you,’ James said, doing his utmost to hold Aria upright.

They smiled at him as he walked through the gate; all four of them smiled, with the kind of expression he’d got used to over the past year. Sympathetic. Pitying. Ultimately helpless.

And James responded with his own carefully crafted expression of long-suffering pain as he led Aria out into the night.