Page 39 of Darkness of Mine

He steps towards me and I tear away from him, spinning on my heel. I’m a good enough profiler to know I’m not going to win this fight. Not tonight. But I’ll be damned if I give River the satisfaction of manhandling me. So I walk upstairs, straight into my own prison cell.

I kick the doorstop holding it open out of the way and let the door slam shut, locking me in with a deafening bang.

The flashback comes hard and fast.

Phantom touches. Zach’s hands on my body. My knees crack as I hit the ground.

I blink past the haze and stumble over to the window.

A silver jeans button. The drag of a zipper.

“No.” I grit my teeth and force my eyes open, force myself to look at the driveway, at the light streaming from the streetlamps.

New memories keep rising to the surface, sick little reminders of how Zach hurt me, but I push them away. Losing myself to my fear won’t help Harley. I need to hold it together, if not for myself then for her.

19

ELI

The slam of Freya’s bedroom door vibrates through the whole house. I sort of want to punch River for upsetting her, which probably makes me a fucking hypocrite, but now that we’ve got her back, I just want her to be happy.

I hate the idea of her alone in that room, so I ignore River’s call for me to stop as I stride past and go upstairs. I take the steps two at a time and punch the code into the keypad. The lock clicks as it disengages, letting me push the steel door open and step inside.

Freya stands with her back to me, her arms hugging her chest as she stares out of the window.

It’s dark out and she must see my reflection in the glass because she speaks without turning around. “I’m really fucking pissed off right now Eli, so unless you’re here to let me out, you can just leave.”

Yeah, that’s not fucking happening. I may not be willing to let her out, but Freya only gets this angry when she’s panicking so there’s no way I’m leaving her here alone.

“I figured you could use a distraction.”

“I’m fine.”

I lean back against the door and cross one leg over the other. “You haven’t even heard my ideas yet.” I hold up a finger, counting as I go. “Option One: you pretend I’m River and punch me in the face. Option Two: you pretend I’m River and we have hot, angry, hate sex. Option Three: you pretend I’m River and give me an hour-long monologue about how Eli is better in the bedroom. Personally, I’m a fan of option B with C coming in a close second but if you want to go with option A, just avoid the nose.”

Freya turns around with a slow spin. Her brows pinch up and together as her lips twitch. “You know jokey, flirty you is really fucking weird.”

I jut my chin towards the tilt of her lips. “Made you smile though.”

That smile breaks free for a moment before Freya’s gaze catches on the door behind me. “You should go.”

I push away from the door, cross the room and cradle her face in my palms. “Not fucking happening.”

Her hands press against my chest. “Eli. I need space.”

I tilt my head. “I don’t think you do.”

Her cloudy green eyes flare. “What is it with everyone is this house suddenly deciding they can make my choices for me?”

My hands drop to her hips, and I walk her back till she’s up against the window. “Ever think maybe it’s because we’re worried about you? That the more you pull away the tighter we want to hold onto you?”

Freya’s tongue darts out, wetting her lips, and my gaze drops to the soft, glistening pillows. “I’m not pulling away,” she breathes out.

I pin her hips with mine, letting her feel my hardening length, and bring my hand to her throat. “Prove it. Kiss me.”

“Eli…”

I tighten my grip and pull her in towards me. “Fucking kiss me, Freya.” The words come out harsh because I’ve been craving this woman for weeks now and I’ve been on the edge of losing my mind since I touched her this morning. I almost got past her walls earlier and I’ll be damned if she tries to put them back up now.