Page 19 of Darkness of Mine

I swallow. Maybe. But this time I actually cut him. This time I wanted to hurt him. That’s the second time I’ve pulled a knife today. I stumble back, my body trembling. “I don’t know why I did that.”

River’s gaze locks on me. “Freya...”

I shake my head. I know there’s no use in running but instinct has me turning.

River’s arms loop around me from the back. “That’s enough. Stop it.” He holds my wrists together in front of my chest but this time I don’t fight. I lean back into him, my knees buckling beneath me.

“River,” I cry.

“Shh. I’ve got you. You’re okay.” River shifts his hold, hooking his arms under my legs and lifting me so I’m cradled against his chest.

I cry against his shirt. The pain in my chest is overwhelming. Too many thoughts and emotions swirl around my head, all coalescing into one thought. “I want to come home,” I sob.

“I know. I know,” River murmurs against my hair. “We’re here. We’re taking you home.”

9

JUDE

My normally racing thoughts are slow. Lethargic. I’ve gotten pretty used to it over the past weeks, but it still feels wrong. For a moment, downstairs, when I saw Freya for the first time, my brain lit up. I wanted to run to her, to wrap her up in my arms and tell her I love her. That I can’t exist without her.

But she didn’t exactly look happy to see us.

I let my head drop back on the cream leather couch. Carmen brought us up here to wait and the couch is one of three in the large TV room. The wall to the right is made of glass, filling the space with light, and a huge screen is mounted to the raw stone wall in front of me. There’re all sorts of gaming consoles set up too and if I wasn’t dead inside, I’d be in heaven right now.

Instead, all of us are sitting in awkward silence as we wait for River to bring Freya back. I try not to let myself think about the alternative, about the possibility she got away, but even with my mind functioning more slowly these days I still don’t have control over my thoughts.

Something shifts in my chest when the door opens and River carries Freya inside. Relief maybe, but I don’t feel it like I normally do. For as long as I remember my emotions havealways been intense, good or bad. But now everything seems far away, like there’s a gauze between me and reality.

River sets Freya down on the other end of the couch I’m on and she pulls her legs up to her chest. Blood streaks her cheek and my heart kicks, panic ripping through the gauze. My eyes flick to River and he shakes his head, showing me the cut on his palm.

I relax back into the couch.

Freya crosses her arms and stares at Carmen. “You told them where I was?”

Carmen raises a brow. “I made an executive decision.”

“So much for always having my back,” Freya mutters.

Carmen’s face stays blank, barely a flicker of emotion, but I can tell the words hurt.

River leans against the sideboard. “Would it help if I told you I blackmailed her?”

Carmen rolls her eyes. “I could have had you killed in minutes if I wanted. I chose to tell you.”

Freya looks between the two of them. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

Carmen opens her mouth to answer but stops, her eyes narrowing on the silver band around Freya’s wrist. She glares at River. “You said you wanted that for Angelica.”

River shrugs, his face as cold as his tone. “I lied.”

Freya fiddles with the bracelet. “What is it?”

“It’s a tracker. It locks once it’s put on and can only be unlocked with the app it’s connected to by the person with the code,” Carmen explains.

“Let me guess, a code only River has?” Freya asks.

Carmen dips her chin.