Page 56

Hel

The Human Realm

I t was still hard to believe I’d escaped Helheim. I was no longer a prisoner of the realm that Odin had forced me to endure.

No part of me felt remorse for what I had done to make it happen, or sadness for what I’d left behind.

Harlow was the perfect choice. I saw her potential even if she didn’t. She could hate me, but I gave her a way to live with her little harem of creatures, a future they wouldn’t have without this new life. She would have withered and died, her ageless men watching on.

It was a favor, really. Something I never got.

I’d always deserved more than that realm had given me... than the gods had given me. I served my sentence, bid my time, ruled with an iron fist for no reward.

I would not be taken advantage of any longer. So, I took matters into my own hands.

I wasn’t naive enough to think Odin would not send someone after me. There was never any doubt I wouldn’t get away with it for long.

But this short burst of freedom was everything I needed. A taste of a true life.

One outside of the eternal darkness of Helheim.

I stretched out on a blanket, soaking in the sun and reveling in the glow of it. The warmth was unlike anything I’d felt in centuries. The simple pleasure was quickly wiping away the bullshit I’d dealt with for the last year.

Helheim held its own beauty, but it had nothing on the ever-changing seasons of Earth.

“You picked a nice hiding place, daughter.”

I frowned over at my father who had appeared beside me. I didn’t comment on his overly loud Hawaiian shirt and board shorts, but I rolled my eyes at his presence.

If he could so easily drop in and find me, any of the gods could.

I’m not ready for that.

“How did you find me?” I asked when he offered nothing else.

“You’re my daughter, I’ll always find you.” He shrugged before turning serious. “What is your endgame here, Hel? I can’t help you if the gods find you first.”

“Let them find me, I don’t care,” I argued.

He snorted, seeing right through my false bravado.

I cared.

The last thing I wanted was to be dragged before the God of Gods, or even worse, thrown in the Scourge. I knew if I returned to Helheim, it would not be in the same capacity I left it. I’d be nothing more than a wraith in the prison.

“Don’t lie to me.” This time Loki’s voice held no amusement. I could tell the chaos I’d caused was taking its toll. I hadn’t considered the heat he’d be taking for me.

Even knowing that now, I still felt no real remorse. I did what I had to do to survive. That life was no longer for me, it was suffocating and dreary. I was drowning in loneliness and I needed a mate, a pack, and a life not centered on death.

“Father. Make me human.” My words were clearly a plea and he looked down at me with wide eyes.

We both knew the consequences of my request.

My father looked at me for a long moment before he spoke. His voice held resignation which was unlike him.

“If I take your powers and turn you human, then you will cease to exist when you die. There’s no afterlife for the soulless, Hel.”

I turned away from him and looked back over the ocean as a wave rolled in.

The idea of not existing was terrifying but if it was my only alternative... I would take it.

Jealousy was never an emotion I’d considered before watching Harlow find her place in the world. The prophecy was clear enough. I knew what was coming, but seeing her step into my place, with strong demons and gargoyles at her side, was enough to make me hate her.

They worshipped her and broke their loyalty to me.

She was the right choice as my successor, but it only made me want to get out of there more.

I wanted what she had, partners to share my life with, someone to confide in who I didn’t have to hold power over... what would that life be like?

As a human, I could surely find out. But would it be fair for my partner to suffer in the afterlife alone when my soul did not cross with theirs?

The one thing Harlow had that I lacked, was emotions. Gods might have designations and thoughts, but we were not in the same league as the humans and creatures under us. We had to be more and that was at the cost of the humanity that allowed packs to form.

Could I even love a human when I became one? Could I let this entire life fade away?

Ivar had found a way to love Harlow in his own way. It wasn’t with human emotion but he cared, wanted to protect her, and liked making her happy. Maybe I could find the same away from the weight of the burdens the gods bestowed on me.

“Then let me fade, Father. I don’t get the luxury to travel from realm to realm, to go where I want. I can’t return to that life. I wouldn’t if I could. I’m ready to move on. I need something more. I’ve seen what I’m missing out on, and I want that.”

“I’d expect nothing less from a daughter of mine,” he said, chin held high. In an almost human gesture, he rested his hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently.

“You have to be certain. There’s no turning back. I can’t make you a goddess again, Hel.”

“I’m certain.” As I said it out loud, I knew it to be true. This was the right choice. “There’s no turning back and I embrace that wholeheartedly.”

My father stood then, looking down at me with a downturned mouth. “I’ll try to do what I can to make certain you don’t disappear.”

There were no words I could offer. He could try and he would fail. Nothing could change the way of the universe.

Loki may possess a lot of power but he didn’t have the power to grant me a soul. He wasn’t the God of Creation. I wasn’t even sure Odin had that power.

I smiled up at him in an attempt to reassure him I was content with my choice. It wasn’t like I just decided one day to escape my realm and did it without planning. This was a well-thought-out series of events and I was happy with the outcome.

Without fanfare, which was strange for my father, he granted my request. The extra power that had been weighing me down, slipped away slowly. It was a relief to feel so light, and even without the power, I didn’t feel empty.

In fact, I felt whole.

The sun was warmer on my skin, the scent of salty air stronger, everything was simply more. As if my power had dulled my senses and I was just now getting to feel, touch, and hear for the first time.

A laugh escaped me as I touched my face. There was no longer bone on one side, only skin.

My body was whole as well. There would be no more hiding myself away.

I was simply me.

The hardest part of it all was that I could no longer see my father. He was gone, and I would likely never see him again.

It was a pure and selfless act he performed, and my chest tightened with a foreign feeling. Appreciation and something more I couldn’t quite place.

Were these emotions?

“Thank you, Dad,” I whispered to the empty beach, knowing he was there.

I’d prepared ahead and had money and a place to stay. Now that I was human, I could explore this town and be who I wanted.

I wasn’t sure if the gods could find me here or if they’d punish me when they did.

A god punishing a human was against the rules. Would it protect me?

I decided to not think about the consequences of everything I’d done. If I let those thoughts win, then I’d ruin the happiness I was ready to embrace.

This was a true fresh start.

The boat ride back to the main island felt shorter than ever and when I stepped off into the city that bustled with people, I actually felt like I belonged.

Me. A former goddess and queen of isolation, belonged .

The revealing bikini I’d selected when no one could see me was garnering more than a few glances and I adored the attention. Apparently, a bright red bikini was a good choice against my pale skin.

At least I wasn’t the only tourist wearing one.

Lifting my heavy bag onto my shoulder, I walked to a nearby cart offering the gentleman money for a cold drink. Paying for something I wanted was another first for me and it was oddly satisfying.

True independence was intoxicating.

Nothing had tasted as good as the tropical drink. The sweet and tart fruit, the cool ice, and the hot day only made it better. I let out a sigh of pure bliss.

My drink was drained in seconds and he happily sold me a second. This time, I savored it as I wandered through town. A few people said hello and I responded back with a real smile.

I never realized how much I was missing while being a goddess. We’d always looked down on the humans, thinking their lives were short, but now that I was experiencing it firsthand, I knew they were the ones that held the power. They had the unrivaled ability to live life fully without the restrictions and bureaucracy that came with the godly realm.

Something stung my eyes and I blinked, shocked as a tear dropped down. I’d never experienced such a mix of emotions, and I knew they weren’t tears of sadness but relief and happiness. I no longer had to fear or hide, my life was mine and mine alone.

At least for now.