Page 43

Harlow

Monday Morning

Third Floor Common Room

“ C an we not fight?” I groaned, clutching my head. Drake barked out a laugh and it was purposefully louder than it ever had been.

He had no mercy for my hungover ass.

“We’re not the ones who decided to drink a bunch of whiskey last night.”

Monty let out a growl. “I thought you were against it.”

I looked up to talk to him but the oozing dark creature was not my demon.

It took three tries and three different figures to finally find him.

If they ever doubted I was crazy, this might have convinced them I was.

My brain was still off-line, and I couldn’t figure out what the hell he was talking about. This was too much for this early.

“Against what?” I asked.

“Alcohol,” he deadpanned. “Or did you forget your entire past?”

“Forgetting was exactly my intention, last night,” I shot back. “However, it had nothing to do with my past.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Hiro asked. Leave it to him to read between the lines. My head lolled to the side, and the moment I saw his concerned face, I knew I had to give him something.

It just might not be the truth.

“I’m just so overwhelmed,” I said. “There’s a lot going on.”

It was honestly the best I could give him right now without breaking down. Plus, what else was I going to say, that Hel would sacrifice me to the fucking portal?

Before we could say anything further a red-headed god was standing in the center of us.

“I have need of the humans,” he said imperiously, reaching out and placing a hand on both Hiro and me before we could object.

His plan was apparently to snag us before Monty, Kol, and Drake could freak out. Nice try. I knew damn well that they’d both be panicking until we returned.

We dropped in the middle of a library of sorts.

My jaw hit the floor as I took in the expansive room. It expanded in both directions but I couldn't see the end or the ceiling as the bookshelves towered above us as far as the eye could see.

Rows of shelves were lined with more books than should be possible. The leather and worn spines stood out against the bright white walls and stone interior.

The entire library was filled with the scent of old books, leather, and coffee.

I didn’t know what heaven smelled like until this exact moment.

“Holy shit,” Hiro breathed out as he clutched my hand. “This is amazing.”

“Welcome to the library of the gods,” Loki said, waving his hands like he was showing us something he’d created himself. “Or the Eternal Library if you prefer.”

“Why are we here?” I questioned.

My headache was gone and my mind felt more clear than ever before. It was like he’d cured my hangover.

I could use a god like him in my life more often if that was the case. Maybe I’d have a drink more often.

Hel knows I’ve fucking earned it.

“Let’s just say that I don’t trust my daughter to give you all the details. She loves her games, doesn’t she? Something she gets from her father,” he said with pride as he wiped at a fake tear. “Anyway. You have two hours to enjoy the library. Don’t waste it.”

He put two fingers to his mouth and let out a sharp whistle. A moment later, a small creature was rushing forward, nearly tripping over himself to reach the god.

He was half my size, and that was saying something since I wasn’t very tall, average at best. The tiny man had long white hair that was braided down his back and he was wearing small golden robes.

His face was gaunt, the skin a strange shade of blue. I caught myself staring and had to force my eyes to shift back to Loki.

“This is one of our librarians. A keeper of the tomes, if you will. He can help you find what you need and bring you the books because you guys won’t be able to reach the top of the shelves.”

“And he will?” I questioned, looking down at the small man and then back up at the large shelves.

Loki let out a jovial laugh that was contagious.

“Never underestimate a librarian.” He smirked. “Again. You have two hours, that’s all I can hold them off for. Whatever you hear outside of that door, do not open them. Do you understand?”

He was so serious now that I swallowed hard and nodded, not willing to argue with him.

Not that I had any reason to. He was giving us the opportunity of a fucking lifetime.

“What are you looking for?” the tiny man asked. He regarded us with cloudy green eyes and a mask of indifference. Something about this man was off, unsettling, and I didn’t want to linger next to him for long.

“What do we call you?” Hiro asked.

The man turned to face Hiro, face never shifting. “I’m a librarian,” he said simply as if that answered the question.

“Okay, librarian,” I said with a sigh. “I need anything you have on closing a portal to Helheim. Specifically from Earth to Helheim.”

“Portal to Helheim based on Earth?” he clarified.

I nodded once and he turned. He made it a few steps away before he walked into the air as if he were on an invisible staircase. His feet continued to rise and fall as if he were simply walking forward, unbothered as he glided between the shelves.

Every time he’d lift a book off of the shelf he’d toss it behind him, the books stacking and floating obediently in his wake.

“This is the strangest moment I’ve experienced yet,” Hiro whispered. “What is he?”

“Apparently, just a librarian.” I snorted. “I guess we shouldn’t have doubted the librarians here. They’re definitely not the same as we or the gods are. They don’t seem to have designations or scents.”

He shook his head as if to clear it and gave me an excited smile.

“Let’s snag a spot, he already has a pile,” Hiro said. “We’ve got a lot of research to do in two short hours.”

“How mad do you think Drake and Monty are?” I joked as we sat. Hiro let out a laugh and held up his hands.

“I’ll be lucky if he doesn’t spank my ass for going even if I didn’t have a choice,” he joked.

Though, it could be the real outcome of tonight. For both of us.

“I’ve literally never been this excited in my life,” he admitted as he looked around.

He was bursting with excitement even though he was holding tight to his composure. I felt it fueling my excitement through our bond. He may be a beta at heart, but his bond was just as strong as the others. Benefits of sharing a body, I suppose.

“This is like every nerd’s dream. These aren’t just books on mythology, this is historical documentation that likely spans over eons. It’s the real truth behind every myth we’ve known. Do you realize what we have just under our fingertips?” Hiro’s excitement reflected in every part of him.

He waved his hands as he spoke, gesturing at everything. The emerald-green eyes I’d grown to love were sparkling with pure, childlike joy, something I’d had yet to witness before then.

This was a glimpse of our future, the one I’d fight for. I wanted to know this version of him, to share these moments and fall even more in love.

“I love you, Hiro.”

He froze at my words, but I wouldn’t take them back, knowing that my life could be over at any minute.

Once we were back at Dark Haven, Hel could snap her fingers and someone would try to throw me into the void.

That put things into perspective for me, and I would not hold anything back now.

“I don’t expect you to say it back to me—” He slammed his lips to mine, kissing me with more passion than he ever had before. When he pulled away, he was smiling even bigger than before.

“I love you, too, Harlow. I didn’t want to say it too soon but it’s true.”

We stared at each other with goofy grins on our faces. The bond thrummed with happiness and all I could feel was him and me inside of it. Everyone else was muted and quiet, letting us have this moment that was just ours.

The librarian cleared his throat as he approached, the books levitating over the table before slamming down with a thud. We had to scramble to catch the ones falling off the top. There were easily fifteen books in the stack.

“Thank you, librarian,” I said. He nodded sharply and went to stand off to the side. I assumed we could just call out to him and he would come back, but for then we had more than enough to look through.

We each grabbed a book and dove in. They were huge and the writing small, shout out to Loki for being the world’s best hangover cure or this would have gone very differently.

I moved onto a new book fairly quickly, skimming as fast as possible in hopes of getting through as much as I could in two hours.

We flipped the pages, spouting out information whenever something popped up. Which was generally vague.

We threw out random things we found, but overall, it was all useless.

Finally, I found something interesting. Thank, fuck.

“Here’s something on the blade that she gave me. It says it’s the only one that can truly send the demons back to hell and keep them from coming right back through the portal. So, the warded weapons Drake gave you guys aren’t going to be as effective. No wonder they just keep respawning like an awful video game.”

“I guess that’s why she gave it to you since you’re the one who supposedly is going to figure out how to close this. I don’t understand why she wouldn’t just tell you how,” he muttered.

I must have shown something on my face because he slid the books aside to look at me closer.

“What is it that you’re not telling us?”

I shook my head. The emotion was choking me. I couldn’t have formed words to tell him even if I wanted to.

“Harlow, tell me. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” There was a desperation in his tone, and I finally cracked.

“Hel said she’s going to sacrifice me. Well, it’s Hel, she didn’t outright say it but she confirmed it. Then she spouted some bullshit about how it wouldn’t be the end of life for me. Which I assumed meant she was going to make me a demon or something in Helheim, but she said I’d be something new, different. She’s so cryptic it’s hard to read between the lines. At the end of the day, it’s still pretty clear.” I glanced up and finally met his eyes. “I’m going to have to die for Hel.”

“Over my dead body,” Hiro said vehemently.

“I’m stuck at Dark Haven. I can’t leave Monty or Kol there and they can’t exactly go far from the portal. It honestly explains why he only came to me in short bursts before I came here. This is where I belong and now it’s apparently where I’ll die. Just when everything I’ve ever wanted is within reach.”

“You need to tell the others. They can keep you safe, Harlow. You’re not alone and on the run anymore. We have each other and between all of us, we can stop this. There has to be something else. Another way.”

“I don’t want anyone else to die for me,” I muttered, a single tear slipped out and he reached over, brushing it off my cheek.

He used two fingers under my chin to lift my face. I met his gaze and the fire burning in his green eyes was enough to steal my breath.

“You. Are. Not. Alone.” He said each word with emphasis so I couldn’t doubt it.

“Okay,” I relented. He nodded once and went back to his books, a new desperation in his body language as he flipped the pages.

He was the next to break the silence.

“Here. This one’s talking about Earth. Well, technically Earth and another place I can’t pronounce, but Earth is the important thing here.” He moved in next to me, shoving my book aside and placing his in front of us.

He was close enough now I could smell his spiced-sage cologne that mixed so good with his campfire and toasted marshmallow scent. I took a second to breathe it in before focusing on the page.

I wish I hadn’t read it. Each new word sent another shard of ice slamming into my chest until it was impossible to breathe.

“No, there has to be another way,” he protested. “This isn’t right.” He must have only now gotten to the part I was reading.

“So, she’s not going to sacrifice me,” I whispered in horror. “She wants me to sacrifice myself .”

Hiro crouched down next to me and grabbed my arm. “Okay, but think about this logically. With you being the one having to do it, that means you don’t even have to die. She can’t force you or it wouldn’t be willing.”

I let out a humorless laugh and shoved my blonde hair out of my eyes. “If only it were that fucking easy. What happens to the world, the humans around Dark Haven, the cities already suffering? I can’t let humanity fall for me. Could I really be that selfish? And what kind of life would we all have if a fucking apocalypse came about? Even I’m not that terrible.”

“You’re not,” he agreed. “But look at this library. There are millions of books here, Harlow. There has to be something here we can use, you don’t have to die. That’s just one option of many.”

“Think about the one way she’d get me to do it,” I said quietly, finally ready to face the truth of it all. “If it was between your life and mine, I’d choose to die for you. All of you.”

“No,” he growled, refusing to believe it.

He took the book back to his chair and flipped through it again, trying to find anything to counteract what we’d found. But I couldn’t read anymore. I was numb now, terrified, and unable to cope.

Hel was wrong, I wasn’t brave enough to do this, nor was I suicidal.

At least not at this point in my life.

“Here’s something else,” he said. Though it wasn’t a convincing tone. “It can be sealed with the unwilling blood of a traitor. That can’t be right. How many demons did they kill every day, aren’t they traitors to Hell?”

The last thing I wanted to do was burst his bubble, but he was dead wrong.

“No,” I said. “From my understanding she didn’t start the rebellion but she’s helping them. At the very least she’s feeding them information and giving them the means. She’s not complacent, she’s calling the shots even when she denies it.”

“Fuck,” he cursed. Hiro threw his book aside and grabbed another. Not wanting to just give up, I took one as well.

“There’s a binding spell. Do you think we could try and bind it at its current point?” I mused. “No, they’re already slipping through, we need to reverse it.”

We’d already been here for over an hour, and I felt like we were even more desolate than when we walked in the doors. Or teleported in, rather.

“Librarian?” I called out. He was nowhere in sight but in a blink, he was standing in front of us, eyebrows raised, though his face remained unchanged. “Can I ask you questions? I assume you have an insane amount of knowledge in that head of yours.”

“I do,” he said in that monotone voice of his. “You may ask.”

“Do you know how to close a portal?”

He didn’t even hesitate to think it over before responding. “It depends on the portal. There are several types, even from the same worlds. This library is accessed from thirty-seven realms alone. The most common way is generally sacrifice, or the world leaders of that realm closing it willingly. The only other option is out of your hands. Several other gods could attempt to close it, but it has to be more than six, otherwise it could throw off the balance. There is always a failsafe... otherwise gods would close portals over petty squabbles. You have no hope in that regard.”

Everything he said was with purpose, no emotion to be found. He wasn’t trying to insult us; he was simply speaking facts.

“Thank you, librarian,” I said, swallowing down the lump that formed in my throat.

“I refuse to think that’s the only option. Don’t give up on me now, Harlow.” Hiro was pleading with me, and I couldn’t break his heart.

Not yet at least.

“I’m not,” I promised. “I have too much to live for. I’m not just going to give up my life. I’ve worked too fucking hard to get to you guys. I can’t just walk away for the greater good. But I do think there’s going to be a very strong conversation with Hel in my future.”

Before he could argue any further, the doors of the library slammed open. The sound was deafening and brought us to our feet, my hand on my dagger.

Loki ran in with several guards behind him. They screamed out for him to stop but he looked like he was having the best time of his damn life. He had a wild smile on his face, strides broad and playful as he did his best drunken pirate run.

“Time to go, kids. It’s a little bit early, but can’t help that now,” he announced, grabbing onto us and whisking us away in a blink.

We were dropped back into the common room. Of course, Loki was nowhere in sight. He liked to cause the chaos, not spend the time to see the aftermath.

“What the fuck just happened? Where did you go? Where did he take you?” Drake demanded as he looked over Hiro while Monty checked me for wounds.

“We’re fine,” I promised. “He, apparently, cures hangovers, and he took us to a library.”

“A library?” Drake asked, keeping his words slow and careful.

“It was a library of the gods, apparently. The Eternal Library,” I explained. “I think I have a few things to tell you.”

“Gossip?” Layne asked. I didn’t even realize she and Crew were perched on the window seat. The only one missing was Kol.

Drake paced until Hiro yanked him down to his side on the couch, throwing his legs over the half-demons to stop him from jumping up again.

Monty leaned against the walls, waiting for me to speak.

The last thing I wanted was to say these words out loud, but they deserved to know.

Hiro was right, I wasn’t alone.

I even had Layne and Crew on my side. Though Crew was reluctant.

“I spoke to Hel yesterday. It’s the reason I got drunk,” I started.

“I knew something else was happening,” Monty said. He was almost smug about it. Ever since I found the other guys, it was like Monty was trying to prove his worth. He didn’t need to, Monty had been around the longest, he was already part of me before I even stepped through the doors of Dark Haven.

“Sacrifice. The only way to close the portal is a sacrifice. And of course, not just anyone, she chose me.”

“No,” Monty said, refusing to even entertain the answer. “Nobody is going to touch you, Harlow. We won’t allow it.” My chest clenched at his use of ‘we.’

Monty was reluctant at first but over the last few weeks he’d looked to Drake, Kol, and even Hiro and Roman to protect me as well.

“She said she couldn’t tell me outright, but she did promise me that death wouldn’t be the end for me, which I find not at all reassuring.”

Monty’s mouth spread into a wide grin. “You would make a sexy demon,” he purred before suddenly sobering. Likely realizing he was against the whole death thing. He’d told me only days before he liked my humanity. “But that won’t happen. You won’t be dying anytime soon, Harlow.”

“Seriously?” Drake questioned, shaking his head at Monty’s initial lecherous comment.

Emotions were too high, so I spoke before it could turn into a fight.

“It doesn’t matter anyway. She said I wouldn’t be a demon or a soul. I’d be some new misfit to really drive home the fact that I don’t belong anywhere.” My words were a bit dramatic but I was barely holding on.

“That’s so fucked up,” Layne whispered. My poor friend was near tears. “She said you’d be the one to fix things, how could she set you up for this?”

“I don’t want to die. But there are very few options for closing portals. Willing sacrifice is the top of that list.”

“If you think we’re going to let you walk up and kill yourself, you’re delusional,” Monty bit out. “Fuck Hel and everything she’s fucking ruined.”

Drake narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re not suicidal, are you?”

It was a fair question. I’ve been acting strange, drinking, and the news I just delivered wasn’t great.

I shook my head and leveled each of them with a stare I hoped conveyed what I was feeling.

“No, I’m not. I have too much to live for, and I don’t want to die for Hel. I don’t trust her or anyone but you guys.”

“Then we find a way,” Drake said vehemently, brokering no room for an argument.

Drake’s promise was nice, and I clung to those words and let them fill me with hope.

For now, at least.