Page 28

Hiro

Sunday Afternoon

Dark Haven Library

M y entire world had shattered around me the first time I’d read Roman’s notes.

The revelation I was not the host but simply an alter was hard to comprehend. At first, I tried to deny it, to fight against it.

But I knew he would never lie, that these records wouldn’t lie. Roman had been sure to tell me it changed nothing within us, but how could it not?

This changed everything we thought we knew.

I didn’t want to admit that my brother hadn’t died, his brother had.

I’m dead.

Was I even real?

I felt like a person. Yet now the words on the page were telling me that I was nothing more than a figment of Roman’s imagination.

Deep down, I knew I never saw Roman as anything less and he assured me he felt the same.

So, why couldn’t I settle my mind?

Those words wouldn’t stop haunting my thoughts.

Hiro believes his brother died protecting him. Roman has easily fallen into that role, taking on anything Hiro struggles to face. They’re two sides of a coin, one soft and naive at times while the other is a true skeptic, trusting no one and sheltering his other half from the world. At this point, the information could prove detrimental to the system.

Whoever wrote those notes was correct. No matter how hard I tried to conjure up memories of that night, it was always Roman who died for me, saved me, leaving me alone and barely coping.

It was wrong.

WhenI flipped further through the file, finally ready to see more, I found our birth certificate. Roman’s name was there on the title, Hiro nowhere to be found.

My entire reality was now shaken, everything I thought I knew was a lie, and I wasn’t sure how to move forward.

The picture attached to the file felt wrong. Roman was there as I saw him, but so was I, looking strange and different than I expected.

The features were off, the hair thicker, the body petite.

Yet it was the real Hiro staring back at me from the faded photograph.

Roman had tried to break it gently in our journal, but he couldn’t hide the truth. We always said we’d never hide important things and he stuck to that. My big brother always took promises seriously.

The pain in that passage struck me in the heart, shattering for the guilt and pain I knew he felt.

Roman was always there to save me, yet he couldn’t save me that night.

My death had broken him, fractured his mind, created me.

I knew that wasn’t on him; he was in an impossible situation and none of us deserved the outcome.

He’d never see it as anything less than failure.

Generally I would hide behind Roman, cope with this by avoidance, but for once in our lives, Roman needed me.

He needed me to keep him human, to not let him dissolve in his own head, to be strong.

Could I be strong?

Would I be able to protect him from his own self-deprecation when I didn’t even feel like I should get a say?

Would Roman do this if the roles were reversed?

Would I ever allow him to feel like less because he wasn’t the host?

The answer was an immediate no to the last question, easily talking myself out of that hole from the start.

Roman had never in my mind been less. He was more than I was. The strength, the brawn, everything I couldn’t be. And I was his comfort, his balance, and the one he could confide in without judgment.

For a moment I swore I could see him in my mind’s eye, pacing back and forth.

Guilt. Confusion. Grief. Devotion. Pain. Fear.

It all melded together as he fought through it in his own pocket of my brain.

No wonder people thought we were a freak. It wasn’t a sensation I could explain, even if I were willing.

This was the closest to real-time communication we’d ever had. Even though we’d never connected like this before, we knew each other well, could see each other.

“That’s an awful lot of thinking.” Drake startled me and the papers scattered to the floor as I clutched my chest.

His hand fell to my thigh, squeezing slightly. His earnest green eyes, so different than my own, met mine. He was waiting for me to calm my racing heart and tune into him. To get out of my own head.

The head that wasn’t truly mine.

Fear like I’d never known raced through me. If Roman ever won the battle with his mind… I would be erased.

My stomach churned and I tried to push away the nausea and horror that it brought out.

Drake squeezed my thigh, bringing my attention to him again.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want you over here alone if you were battling something so serious.”

“W-what?” I stuttered out. “Serious?”

My eyes met his and my breath caught. Drake was gorgeous and intimidating, and right now his emerald eyes burned with an intensity that had warmth spreading through me as I was once more seated firmly in reality.

His scent captured me, bitter, rich, and spicy, infiltrating my senses and grounding me as his chest rumbled for me. The alpha purr had my eyes fluttering closed and my breathing to return to normal.

I couldn’t keep my eyes closed for long. Not when I needed to see him this close, to drink in the sight of him and commit it to memory.

It was a relief to see him at all.

He’d been in and out for days, bringing supplies and ensuring us we were safe here, but we knew he wasn’t.

Every day, the circles under his eyes grew and so did my fear for him.

“I can’t read your mind, Hiro.” He laughed gently. It wasn’t mocking, but encouraging. “I’d say it’s serious if you’re glaring at the notebook.”

He let go of my leg and leaned down, gathering up the fallen items and setting them on the end table without giving them a single bit of his attention. He was respectful, more than anyone ever realized before.

Drake was safe, solid, and someone we could rely on. I wish I’d seen it sooner.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No?”

Drake chuckled again, the purr lacing the sound and deepening it. “Is that a question or a statement?”

“Fuck, I don’t know,” I groaned with a strained laugh. “I’m not even real, why does it matter what I think?”

How were we even mates?

None of it made sense now.

Drake shifted with a growl, propping himself over me with a hand on either side of the cushions I was leaning against. His face hovered inches from mine.

It felt like he was staking a claim as he stared down at me with possessive heat. The tension was so thick it was hard to breathe. Now my heart was racing for a whole new reason.

I could scent the need on him, the alpha pheromones so strong I couldn't ignore it.

“Not real?” he questioned slowly.

I nodded, swallowing hard. Drake leaned closer and ran his nose along my throat to my ear, tongue tracing the shell of it before leaning back.

“Yet I hear your heart racing in response to me, Hiro. It isn’t Roman who is doing that, it’s you .”

“He doesn’t feel that way about you,” I admitted in a shaky voice.

My filter once again slipped away as he filled my senses, forcing me to stay out of my head. Drake was good for me and I wanted him with everything I had.

“Good, because the feeling is mutual, on both accounts,” Drake promised. “I’m going to kiss you now, Hiro. And I’d like to touch you, but you have to tell me you want it. That you want me .”

“I’m scared,” I admitted with a whimper. “Not just because of this but because of...”

“Hiro. Do you know I would never do anything against your will?” Drake asked.

My name on his lips had my cock stirring, growing hard.

I nodded, unable to form words.

“Yes, but sometimes my trauma doesn’t care about reality,” I stated, letting out a soft whimper as he straddled me, hanging back just enough so his bulge pushed into my now hard dick. “But I don’t want to be.”

“Then give me control, Hiro. Let me take care of you. And if you ever want to stop, you say the word and we stop,” Drake purred in my ear, begging me to hand him control, to let him keep me safe. “Let me suck your cock, Hiro.”

“Why?” I asked. The confusion in my tone must have amused him because a low chuckle rumbled out of him.

“Because I want to remind you that you’re real, that you very much have a place in these halls. With me. With Harlow. Hell, even Layne would punch anyone who said otherwise. And because I’ve wanted to hear you call me alpha in that needy tone since you let ‘daddy’ slip.”

My cheeks flared at his words and I groaned. “Sometimes words just tumble out. I can’t be held responsible for what’s said when I’m a mess.”

He leveled me with a look that said he saw right through me.

“I think that’s simply when you’re the most honest. So, tell me, Hiro, are you going to let your alpha take your cock like a good boy?”

“Yes,” I husked out with another pitiful whimper that had his sinful smile spreading wider.

For the first time, I was hard and willing without a single thought tugging me under.

It danced on the edges, taunting me, but Drake was demanding enough to hold it at bay.

“Out of your head,” he ordered. “Take yourself out of your pants. Show your alpha what’s his.”

I never thought I’d be into the daddy kink, or whatever fucked-up version of it we were living, but giving Drake the control helped me move past my hang-ups.

It was a small step, but one I was thankful for.

My fingers shook as I glanced around, ensuring we were alone in the library. My cock pushed painfully against my jeans, and I nearly sobbed in relief as I undid the button and pulled down the zipper, lifting myself just enough to shove my jeans down along with my boxers.

Drake took a deep breath as he stared down at me, licking his lips like he could barely hold himself back. My scent filled the air, mixing with his and I didn’t bother to hide the fact I was sucking it in like it could save me too.

Drake, powerful and terrifying, was hungry at the thought of me .

Now that I’d given in, he took over like he promised. In one swift movement he ripped my jeans from my body before glancing up at me, hands on my thighs and putting just enough pressure to keep me hyperaware.

“Can I taste what’s always been mine, Hiro?” he asked. It was his way of demanding my consent before moving forward, and that feeling of being cared for, of being safe, settled something in my soul I hadn’t realized I was desperately missing.

“Yes, Alpha.” The words were so quiet I didn’t think he’d heard me, but I shouldn’t have doubted the half demon. He grinned in smug satisfaction before diving down, taking me in his throat and swirling his tongue around the tip as he pulled away. My head swam with pleasure and the nagging memories and voices were blessedly quiet as he swallowed me down.

I let my head fall back, hands resting in his thick, black hair as he bobbed his head over me, swallowing me down as I whimpered out his name.

I’d never felt anything so amazing and it took everything in me to avoid blowing my load down his throat in seconds. He sucked harder as if he knew how I felt, but there was a desperation there.

He needed this, too.

Needed me.

Drake pulled away as my body trembled. He could read me like a book.

His eyes were full of possessive hunger as he met my gaze.

“Imagine me, sitting back and watching, calling the shots, directing you as you fucked Harlow. I’d get a front row seat to the show, seeing both of you losing yourselves in each other. My hand would be fisting my cock, hard as a fucking rock knowing you’re being so obedient for me.”

I whimpered at the picture he was painting. Harlow meant more to me than I could explain. As intensely as I felt for Drake, I felt for her.

“Tell me, Hiro. Tell your Alpha what you need,” he ordered. “I want to hear you say it.”

My fingers tightened in his hair and I gently pushed him down.

“You. I need you to let me come, Alpha,” I begged. “Then, someday, I need you to help me get past this. To help me fuck Harlow like I want to.”

Drake’s smile had my chest flaring with heat. “Good boy.”

That was all he gave me before his mouth was claiming my cock again, sucking hard as I hit the back of his throat. He was unrelenting, teasing and tasting me until I couldn’t hold back if I wanted to.

“I’m going to come,” I warned him but that only had the man doubling his efforts. As he swallowed around me, throat constricting around me, I was lost.

My orgasm hit me so quickly, stealing my breath as it pulsed through my body, overtaking me in a way I’d never experienced before.

My vision blurred, throat aching from my screams. I didn’t hold back for him. Just as he demanded, I was lost to the moment, staying out of my head.

As the tension released me from its hold, I relaxed, melting into the couch.

“I think you broke me, Alpha,” I slurred as my eyes drifted closed.

Drake’s laughter had a smile forming on my lips.

“Get dressed before someone walks in and you freak out,” he warned, helping me stand up and step into my jeans. I never expected Drake to be the gentle type, but he was showing more care than anyone else in my life ever had.

I half expected him to turn away but he put a hand on either side of my face, forcing me to look at him.

“I never want to hear you say, or think, that being an alter makes you less. You are just as important, just as much of a person, as Roman. I damn well know you didn’t treat him shitty when you thought he was. So, you need to think real long and hard about how you’re going to deal with this. Face it head-on, confident, head held high. Or are you going to run from it, Hiro?”

“How do you do that? See right through me?”

“Because you let me in,” he said with a smirk. “You tell me everything with those expressive emerald eyes. It’s written in the way you hold yourself, I read between your words.”

“I thought demons weren’t such sweet talkers,” I teased. He had me feeling bolder already. It was strange and heady, but I loved it.

“See, I knew that bratty side of you was hiding in there.” He snorted as he brushed a kiss over my lips. It was quick, the ghost of a kiss, but I could taste myself on him and fuck, it was hot. “And I’m only a sweet talker with you.”

He pressed his lips to mine again, firm and controlling. I melted into it, his arms all that were holding me up as he swept his tongue into my mouth, dominating, tasting, possessing me.

I gave it all willingly, glad to let go even for a moment.

“You’re right,” I admitted, breaking the sweet moment with a dash of reality. It was easier to face with him so close. “I want to be stronger. To hold onto my identity.”

“Good. Because I know several people who wouldn’t be the same without you,” he said.

“Like me.” Harlow startled me as she walked up on quiet feet. She laughed at my reaction, the sound melodic and captivating. He consumed me while she drew me in. “What have you boys been up to?”

Her raised eyebrow and smirk told me she knew exactly what we’d been doing. Our scents were stronger than ever.

“Drake gave me a blow job.”

They burst into laughter at my blunt words, and this time I didn’t shy away from it, I joined in. It was freeing and I wanted to soak this moment into my soul.

She paused as she passed Drake, kissing him and letting their tongues dance. The sight of them had my cock twitching like it was ready to go again.

Harlow twisted her hand in his shirt as she pulled away, her eyes hardening as she stared him down.

“You need to stop disappearing.” There was a warning in her tone.

“I can’t make that promise.”

She glared but let it drop before turning to me.

“It’s nice to see you smiling again,” Harlow said as she moved in, her body pressing into mine. She did that often, as if she craved my touch as much as I craved hers. “Am I too late for snuggles, because I could use a nap before dinner.”

“I’m out on that,” Drake said as he stepped back. “I need to check in on something.”

It was just like Drake to sweep in and throw my world upside down, then waltz out without looking back.

Yet I only felt light and free.

My trauma wouldn’t disappear because Harlow gave me the touches and softness I craved, it wouldn’t fade away because Drake kept me out of my head, that much I knew.

Hell, I’d been through enough psychiatrists and therapists to know that. But I couldn’t dismiss how easily they grounded me, just a simple touch and I felt stronger, more sane.

That was a big deal to me.

As I snuggled into Harlow on the couch, my eyes drifted closed.

For the first time in far too many years to count, I felt whole.