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CHAPTER SEVEN

CY

I want to kill someone. Tear them apart with my bare hands. It’s not just anyone I want to do this to, though. I want the one responsible for hurting Alanna.

It makes me sick to my stomach to know that her father, a man who was supposed to protect her and love her, would do something as sickening as he did. Worse, he got her pregnant.

“Gotta ask you something.” I clear my throat, not wanting to ask it, but I have to know.

“What?” she asks, watching me closely now, eyes weary.

“He got you pregnant at seventeen. How come you never said anything to anyone about the abuse and rape? You were nearly an adult and didn’t say anything. Why?”

That’s the one thing I don’t understand. Why didn’t she speak up for herself? Tell someone about it. Put a stop to it? So many whys run through my head, I need her to explain what made her keep her silence.

“You grow up being trained a certain way. You learn not to speak of things that are to be held a secret. The one time I tried to tell someone, I paid the price for it.” The look that crosses her face tells me that I won’t get her to tell me what the price was. “Before I found out I was pregnant, I had a plan. My brothers knew what I wanted to do. They had their own plans and put them in motion. Both of them joined the military, but before that, they stuck around to watch out for me. They didn’t realize just how much . . .” Alanna visibly swallows before continuing, “control he had over me. He even threatened to kill my brothers if I spoke a word.”

So, she did it to protect her brothers. Brothers who should have done just that for her.

“You talk to them any?”

Alanna shakes her head, eyes filling with such sorrow that it guts me. “We only communicate through email. Davis set it up. It’s encrypted. He said it was safer that way. Our mother was a bit controlling and still tries to control them the best she can.”

Nodding, I sit on the coffee table and take her hands in mine. “We’ll get into the rest of this later. For now, you gotta know that none of what you’ve shared changes anything between us.”

In focusing on Alanna, I don’t miss the way her breath hitches and her chest goes still for the slightest second.

“I only told you so you’d finally see that we can’t be what you seem to want us to be,” she says hastily.

Of course, she fucking thought that shit.

“Short Stuff, you ain’t gettin’ rid of me that easily. You gotta learn to trust me, baby. Trust that I’m not gonna let the bullshit from your past get between us anymore than you’ve already allowed it. What you gotta get, Alanna, is that the first time I saw you, I knew I was gonna have my hands full and that I was gonna have to put in the work. In case you haven’t noticed in the past two damn years, I’ve been doing just that.”

Alanna’s lips part, about to say something, but instead of giving her the time to speak, I make my move. Letting her hands go, I reach out and cup the back of her head in one hand, the other going to her waist. I move in and capture her lips in a way I’ve only dreamed of doing for two long fucking years.

A gasp meets my lips, and I take advantage of it to slide my tongue right in her mouth. Alanna’s body tenses for all of a second before she melts into me, releases a moan, and at the same time wraps her arms around my neck.

Taking her to her back on the couch, I deepen the kiss, savoring every bit of what she’s giving me.

Alanna’s legs fall open for me, mainly because I didn’t give her a chance to close them when I moved over her.

Kissing her alone is enough to make me hard, but now isn’t the time for that.

Reluctantly, I break the kiss and lift my head just enough to watch her eyes flutter open.

“What was that for?” The question comes out on no more than a breath.

Grinning down at her, I slip a hand from her hair to stroke her jawline. “That, Short Stuff, has been a long-time waiting kiss. Fair warning, it’s not going to be the last one I get from you. I intend to kiss you a helluva lot more.”

The way Alanna’s cheeks flush along with her licking her lips . . . fuck me, it’s enough to want to say fuck it and take what I want. There’s no way, though, that she’s ready for any of that. Not when we’ve got things to do. Not after what she shared with me.

I pull fully away and get to my feet, taking her hand in mine to bring her with me. “Let’s get you and Lottie a bag packed,” I tell her as my phone starts ringing.

Inwardly cursing, I let Alanna go and pull the phone out. The ringtone is a distinct tone for Hammer. Answering it, I bring the phone to my ear. “What’s going on, Prez?”

“Lottie is awake and wondering where you and Alanna are.”

That was a quick nap.

“Brother, the girl is freaking out because she woke up without either of you here.”

“She with you?” I didn’t like the fact she was freaking out. It’s not like she hasn’t napped at the clubhouse before. Then again, usually, she’s with the other kids and not in a room alone.

“Yeah, wanna talk to her?” Hammer asks.

“Yeah,” I tell him, holding Alanna’s gaze.

“Here she is.”

There’s a shifting sound, and then I hear a sniffling sound. “Hewo.”

“Lottie, what’s got you upset, kiddo?” I ask, keeping my voice calm and sure.

“I wokes up and couldn’t finds Momma.”

“Momma’s with me, darlin’, we’ll be there soon. We’re just getting some of your stuff to have a sleepover at the clubhouse.” If I had it my way, we’d be packing all their shit and moving them to my place altogether. “Think you can calm down now? Maybe if you ask Uncle Rogue if he’s there, he’ll show you where the cookies are you like.”

“Otay,” Charlotte says cheerfully.

At least that helped in taking care of her fears for the time being. I’m gonna have to ask Alanna about that. As far as I know, the girl has never been known for being afraid. Or at least we hadn’t seen her act that way around the clubhouse.

“We’ll be there soon,” I tell her. Charlotte says something incoherent, mostly it was muffled, and I wait for Hammer to pick up the phone. “She good?”

“Yeah, brother, she’s yelling for Rogue while running.” Hammer chuckles. “Guess you told her he knows where her cookies are. He gets her, huh?”

“He’ll find another spot to put them.” Probably not. Everyone knew where the cookies were, but they were a good distraction for her. “Anyway, we’ll be back in just a bit.”

“Got it, careful out there. Temp’s already dipping, and roads are gonna start icing over soon.”

It won’t be the first time I’ve driven in this type of weather, but it’s not something any of us do on a daily basis. This weather is out of the normal for us. I think the last snowstorm that dropped snow like this had to be about twelve years ago or so.

“We won’t be long,” I tell him and hang up. There is no reason to stay on the phone when I don’t need to.

“Is Charlotte okay?” Alanna asks, hands clasped together in front of her.

“Yeah, she’s fine. Woke up and freaked a little. She’s good now.” I shove the phone back in my pocket and wrap my arms around Alanna, pulling her into me. “You know why she’d wake up crying?”

“Charlotte’s not one to wake up scared unless there was no light in the room. She sleeps with a nightlight that keeps the room from being pitch black.”

This is something I already knew. The reminder of it brings home that she’d been asleep in my room, I don’t have any of that shit in there. It’s a good thing that it won’t be something she does often. My brothers and I had expanded, adding onto the clubhouse to make a couple extra rooms to be able to have one where all the kids could hang out when they get a little bit older.

Nodding, I shift us away from the couch. “Time to pack, Short Stuff,” I tell her, getting us back on task. The sooner we get this shit done, the sooner I get her back to the clubhouse.

We still have more to talk about, and we will, not now, though, not with the fact that the car that had been following us could very likely be out there now. Who the hell knows who it is, it could be anyone. My gut is telling me whoever it is was either sent by Alanna’s dad or, for all I know, her mother. She didn’t finish telling me the full story, and maybe we should take the time for her to tell me, I’m not taking chances. We’ll talk when we’re back at the clubhouse, and I know she’ll be safe.