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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

ALANNA

“Can we watch a movwe, Momma?” Charlotte asks, having finished her bath.

“What movie did you want to watch?”

I already know the answer, and I know I’ll say yes just to spend more time with her. Okay, that’s not exactly true. Yes, I love spending time with my daughter, but I could quote all the movies she would pick. Lately, she’s been wanting to watch Sleeping Beauty constantly, no other movie. Sometimes, I wish she’d pick Frozen or even one of the other princess movies. But she’s on Sleeping Beauty kick right now. The main reason I didn’t mind us watching a movie is because it means I’m not alone with Cy, and I don’t have to express my feelings to him. I don’t have to feel the humiliation of my rushing away or my outburst from earlier.

During dinner, he claimed me, kissed me, and sat next to me while enjoying the chili I made. Everyone made comments about it being the best damn thing they’ve ever had.Even Avery complimented it, and she’s picky, as she proclaimed.

To me, it’s just chili. Chili is chili, and there’s nothing special about it. Sure, I’d made some cornbread to go with it. Some people prefer to have corn chips in it, but cornbread is just as good.

Charlotte loves cornbread, and it’s the only way she’ll eat chili, considering she’s not one for beans. The cornbread helps hide the texture for her when I break it up and put it in the bowl. This is what Avery ended up doing as well when I explained what I was doing for my daughter.

“ Sweeping Beauty , Momma,” Charlotte announces, climbs up in Cy’s bed, and flops down on the pillows.

Cy hadn’t come into the room yet, but I knew it wouldn’t be long.

Sighing, I follow Charlotte, and she immediately curls into me as I turn the TV on and find the Disney app. Cy had put it on my TV at home and refused to take it off when I asked. In the end, it’s the only thing we really watched anything on.

I pull up the movie and start it. About fifteen minutes into it, the door opens, and my eyes lock with Cy’s. He glances at the TV, then down to Charlotte, a grin sliding into place on his lips.

“Cy, come watch the movwe with Momma and me,” Charlotte demands, hand patting the bed on the other side of her.

“Give me just a minute, Lottie darlin’,” he states, eyes coming to me while he moves through the room. He grabs something from the dresser and goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

“I loves Cy, Momma,” Charlotte whispers.

“I know you do, sweetheart.”

My little girl adored the man.

“Do you loves him, Momma?”

There’s no way I could answer that question. Not with him so close. Not with me still trying to get my bearings. I mean, the man has been driving me crazy since the first day I met him. To make it worse, for the past several days, he’s done nothing but muffle my thoughts with all his talk and more so, with his touch and kisses.

“Why don’t we get back to watching the movie?” I change the subject, not wanting to answer her one way or the other. She’s a little girl who doesn’t see the world as it is. She doesn’t know how brutal it can be.

“Otay,” she whispers, but I could tell she is confused by the fact I didn’t answer her question, and she didn’t like it.

Charlotte settles back into me, eyes on the movie, but my mind keeps thinking about her question. Do I love Cy? I don’t even know his actual full name. Just that he’s Cy. No one calls him anything else, not even Rebel.

What I do know about him, I like. I like the fact he’s so good with my daughter. No, I don’t just like that about him. I love that he’s so sweet with her. That he adores her. The two of them together, they’re beautiful. Sweet. Loving. And in truth, they melt my heart when I find them with their heads together.

I don’t bother looking in Cy’s direction when I hear the door open. The best thing I can do right now is ignore his presence. I don’t know if he heard her question or what I said, but I can’t think of that at the moment. It’s all too much. All I want to do is lie here, hold my daughter, and watch flipping Sleeping Beauty for the millionth time.

Cy’s heat comes up behind me, his arm comes around my waist, and his long body stretches out behind mine.

“What are you doing?” I blurt out with a hushed grumble.

I mean, I know Charlotte and I were more in the middle, but there was space on the other side of my girl. More than enough, considering he’s got a king-size bed.

“Settling in to watch a movie with my girls,” he says, right at the shell of my ear.

I fight the shiver of feeling his breath against me right there.

His girls.

It’s not just about me or about Charlotte. To him it seems it’s about being with the both of us.

I don’t bother with a response.

I’m surprised when my little girl doesn’t say something herself. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel her settle all that much more. My beautiful girl is happy.

At the moment, to me, that’s all that matters.

She’s asleep,” Cy murmurs, arm coming from around me.

“Yeah,” I tell him what he seems to know already.

We finished Sleeping Beauty, and Charlotte asked to watch Tangled . Halfway through the movie, she finally falls asleep.

“I’m gonna move her to the other room,” Cy announces, climbing from the bed.

“Why?”The question leaves my lips before I can stop it.

“‘Cause she ain’t sleepin’ in bed with us, Short Stuff.” He reaches up and grabs my chin, forcing me to look back at him. “Plus, you and I are gonna talk. Then we’re gonna do other things that she doesn’t need to be here for.”

Between my legs tingle at the mention of doing other things. Things I knew meant him being inside me, and the thought alone muddled my mind even more.

Cy bends down, kisses me gently, and releases my chin. I follow him with my eyes, watch him move around the bed and scoop Charlotte into his arms. He adjusts her to him, tucking her against him snuggly. The sight of them together like this tugs at my heart in a way I didn’t expect possible.

Everything about what this man does is like a sledgehammer cracking away at the wall I’ve kept around me for so long I feel it teetering. By giving into him and allowing him into my heart is something I want yet fear all at the same time. It’s something I’m struggling with because I know more than anyone else, he has the power to destroy everything I’ve held close to my chest for so long.

If he decides to cast me to the side, I won’t be able to handle it. Plus, it would devastate Charlotte. Though, I have a feeling that even if he destroyed me, he’d protect her.

“What are you thinking about?”

I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Cy’s voice breaking through my thoughts.

Clearing my throat, I shift on the bed, sit up, and focus on him. Cy closes and locks the door, seals us in at the same time blocking out the rest of the world.

“Asked you a question, Short Stuff,” he states, arms stretching up, elbows bending, hands grabbing the neck of his tee, and he tugs his shirt over his head, throwing it to the floor. His eyes only left me when the shirt came between us, but that was it.The intensity of them somewhat freaks me out and, at the same time, sends tingles down below. “You going to answer my question?”

“What was the question?” I shake my head, blink, and draw my bottom lip between my teeth.

“What are you thinking so damn hard about?” he asks once again, brow cocked, and comes up on the bed.

“Nothing.” I try, but I know he’s not going to let me get away with a lie.

Cy seems to know when I’m lying or denying something.

“Don’t lie, baby. Saw it on your face. Tell me what you were thinking about. Maybe then I won’t spank you for lying.”

“What?” I breathe. “You’d hit me?”

“You know better, Alanna.” His voice grows sharp, eyes narrow, and his hands tighten on my hip.

I did know better. He’d never hurt me. Not intentionally.

Sighing, I give him the truth. “I was thinking about how it will destroy me if you decide when you’re done with me and cast me aside.” Cy opens his mouth to say something, but I keep going. “I know what you’re going to say, but nothing lasts forever. Nothing ever does. You could wake up one day and realize I’m not what you want.”

“Baby.”

“Then you’ll kick me out of your bed, life, and not want anything to do with me.” I ignore Cy’s shifting us, his full weight coming over me.“You could end up tomorrow saying I’m not the one for you, and if you did, it would shatter me. I’ve kept a wall around me to protect myself, and in doing so, I’ve done my best to keep that wall in place and also surround it around Charlotte?—”

“Alanna, quiet,” he says, gentle and stern in a way I’ve never heard him get before. Cy could get stern. He could be gentle. He could be both at the same time, but this was different. He was looking at me with such a tender expression I didn’t understand it. “I got your attention?”

“Yes.” I nod.

“Good.” He grunts, reaches up, and curls his fingers along the side of my face. “Now, I want you to listen fuckin’ good, Alanna. I’m not going to repeat myself again. I’ve already said it more than fuckin’ once. You’re mine. You’ve been mine for two damn years. I’ve given you time to warm up to me. More than a little bit of time. You and me, we’re doing this shit. We’re going to see where it leads and where it goes, who the fuck knows. But we’re doing it together. I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and kick you out of my bed. I’m going to wake up tomorrow and sink my cock inside you. After I do that, we’re gonna go about our day, then end the day with me sinking right back inside your pussy.”

Umm.

I open my mouth to say something, but his thumb presses to my lips.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Alanna. I’m not going to fuck you over. Nor am I going to do anything to make you feel anything but safe. When you’re with me, I want you to feel safe. To trust me.

“I do trust you. That’s what scares me,” I mumble against his finger.

“And I’m going to make sure you keep on trusting me as you should. There’s nothing to be scared of when it comes to what we’ve got.” Cy strokes his thumb over my lips and keeps going. “You and me, when this is over, we’re going to get to a place where that fear in your eyes is gone. You and our girl are moving into the house with me. We’ll get Lottie used to a normal that is the three of us. You’ll get used to it too.”

My heart stutters in my chest, and I struggle to keep my breathing even.

“Now, we’re done with this shit, Short Stuff, and I’m more than ready to get to what I really want to do. After I’m done with you, you’ll be too exhausted to think of this shit anymore.”

“I will?” I breathe.

“Damn right, Alanna baby. I’m gonna make sure come morning, you still feel what I do to you. Maybe that wall you keep around you will come crashing down as I’m fuckin’ you.”

Cy doesn’t give me a chance to come up with a retort. Instead, his lips take mine, his tongue slides right in, and he does precisely what he said he was going to do.