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CHAPTER ELEVEN

ALANNA

I can do this. I can do this.

No, I can.

How can I get in bed next to Cy?

Freaking out about the whole situation, all I keep thinking about is that I need to run, to get away from everything and everyone. That those I care about most, including my own daughter, would be safer if I wasn’t around.

The thought of leaving Charlotte hurts, but as long as she was with Cy and the others, I know, without a doubt, she’d always be protected.

But how do I leave her? She’s my baby. I’ve held her every day since the day she was born.

I need her in my life just as I need air to breathe.

Then there’s everything that comes along with Cy. All that’s him. How beautiful to me he is. He might not appreciate being called that, but seeing him, actually seeing him, not just his body, but the way he is with my daughter, with me, with those around him . . . it’s just absolutely the best thing in the world.

There’s no way he’s going to let me go easily.

He’s not going to have a choice, though. It’s what’s best for everyone.

Rebel has all the documents in case something were to happen to me, including if I were to have to leave suddenly. I’d sworn her to secrecy using client privileges. She couldn’t say anything. I did this by signing one of the contracts she uses when taking on a client. She explained every lawyer was different and handled paperwork differently, the same as handling taking on clients. She has them sign a contract. I’ve typed up plenty for her, so I knew how it would go.

As my friend, Rebel, didn’t want to sign it, but being a professional lawyer, and under the duress of me going to another lawyer, she agreed to be mine on this. That’s when I let her in on everything, set up my will and did the guardian papers. She’s set to be Charlotte’s guardian, but I’m willing to bet it’d be Cy who takes Charlotte.

Today, though it freaked me out, I saw the way he was with my daughter, he loves her.Cy had gone out on the skating rink with Charlotte and helped her while she did everything herself. It was something I’d have done myself, only she didn’t want me. She wanted Cy.

I wanted to cry happy tears at the sight of them together.

God, how could it have only been hours ago that everything seemed so fine?

In just as many, so much has changed. I spilled nearly everything to Cy about my past. We were in an accident that was caused by someone who would have taken me had they gotten the chance.

Damnit, all to hell and back.

I should just leave right now, but honestly, between all that’s happened and my emotions tail spinning out of control, all I wanted to do was sleep myself. Only I can’t.

Thirty minutes passed by before a knock came at the door. Two of Cy’s brothers, Savage and Gunner, bring in a toddler bed for Charlotte. At home, she has a regular bed, but she’s still small enough that this will work for her.

Neither of them says anything. They just give chin lifts, look at Cy, and then leave the room. Moments later, Charlotte comes bounding into the room.

“Momma,” she cries, arms raised.

I catch her as she launches herself in my arms. “Hey, my Lottie girl.” I hug her to me and look up as two other men come in, with Hammer standing at the door. I nod to Hammer in gratitude for bringing me my daughter. He nods and looks at the other two men. They set all the bags down on the floor just inside the room. I note that they’re all mine and Charlotte’s things, including the grocery bags.

“Guess what, Momma?” Charlotte says as the door closes once again.

“What?” I ask and set her on her feet.

“Uncle Rogue said tomorrow he’ll take me outside to play in the snow.”

“He did?” It’s hard to seem excited for her, but I feign excitement all the same.

“Yeah. He’s gonna take me riding out on the snow, and we’re gonna have a snowball fight and make a snowman and . . .” She bounces around and glances over to the bed, eyes locking on Cy. “Why’s Cy sweeping?”

“He was tired, sweetie, so let’s keep our voices down while you get ready for bed,” I tell her, moving for the bags. I knew which ones were hers. I just didn’t know which one had her clothes in it.

“We’re having a sweep over with Cy?” she asks, following me.

“We are.” I already changed into the shirt Cy gave me. It was long on me, falling to my knees.I open the first of her bags and thankfully find her clothes.

Rifling through, I pull out a pair of her pajamas and hand them to her.

“Go on in the bathroom and change for me. Put your clothes on top of mine.” I point out my clothes on the floor in a neat pile. I didn’t have anywhere else to put them. Tomorrow, I’ll organize the bags and do something with our stuff.

“Otay, Momma,” Charlotte says, takes the clothes, and rushes across the room to the bathroom.

I watch her as she closes the door before going back to search through the bags. I find all of her favorite things in the second bag. I pull her stuffy she loves most out, then move on to the next bag I’d packed. I find both hers and my toothbrushes. Straightening, I toss her stuffy onto the bed and move to the bathroom as the door opens.

Silently, we both move about doing our nighttime routine. Charlotte knows that when it’s time to put jammies on, it’s time to settle down and she always listens. She’s pretty good about it too. Never fights me on it. Most nights, that is.

Once we finish getting ready, together we go back into the room. Charlotte climbs into the little bed, grabs her stuffy, and lays her head on her pillow.

“Storybook or a different story?” I smile at her, noticing she was already sleepy.

“Can you tell me more about the princess and her knight?”

Of course, she’d want that one. She loves the story, and I hate that it’ll never be more than a story I make up.

Nodding, I tuck the blanket around her and give her the story she wants. It doesn’t take long before she’s out. Kissing her forehead, I move away from her. Quietly, I move the bags and unload the grocery ones onto his dresser. There wasn’t anywhere else to put the stuff.

I noticed earlier when I was brought in here that Cy’s room was pretty bare. Other than a TV mounted to the wall over his dresser, a gun safe next to it, and a nightstand, he didn’t have anything else. Honor had told me Cy wasn’t in his room much. Most of the time, he stayed in what she called his ‘cave’.

With nothing else to do, I look at the bed, longing to climb in it but unsure if I was able to do it. With everything that’s happened in just today alone proves so much to me. But I know with me gone, they’d be able to protect Charlotte for me. I glance at my bag on the floor and bite my lower lip.

No.

The word screams in my head. As much as I want to run, another part of me wants to stay. To trust Cy as he asked me too.

I am trusting him. I’m trusting that he’ll keep Charlotte safe. Keep her protected where I’m not able to.

Tears burn my eyes, blurring my vision.

Leaving would be for the best.

With the snow still coming down outside, though, I won’t get far. I need to be able to get my car. I can’t do that tonight.

Finally, my heart and mind come up with a plan. I’ll give myself tonight. One night to sleep, to lay next to the man I’ve been falling for for two years now. I’ll give myself this one night to sleep next to him. Come tomorrow, I’ll find a way to get out of here. I’ll explain that it’s the only way to protect Charlotte from the evil after us both.

In doing what I have planned, I’ll destroy a part of me.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I move to the bed and climb in on the side closest to Charlotte. I keep to the edge of the bed, not wanting to disturb Cy.

Somehow, though, in his sleep, he knew I was in the bed. One second, I’m on the edge of the bed. The next, I’m drawn back to the middle, his arm snug around me, his front flush against my back like we’re molded together.

It’s perfect.

I close my eyes and allow myself to drift until sleep fully takes me under, and for the first time, I’m not haunted by nightmares of the past.