Page 79 of Cry Madness
I snort out a nasty laugh. “Awesome. Tell your dad I said thanks for the apology.”
No way do I think for a second that he didn’t send her to try to make amends.
“He doesn’t know I’m here.”
Her confession shocks me, but I hide it, saying, “Fine. Whatever. You’re sorry. Apology heard. Now go away.”
But she doesn’t, and instead, says, “Whether you believe me or not, Iamsorry. Things weren’t supposed to…” Again, her sentence trails off, as if she’s searching for the right words, against the backdrop of her pointed stare. She’s also pointedly staringat the fading damage Rook did to my face. “I never intended for you to be hurt.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I tell her with feigned nonchalance. Itdoesmatter, though, because Rook could have easily killed me before Maddox got there. “You did what you did, and it’s over. Again, I go to slam the door shut, but now it’s my turn to hesitate as I watch her swing around and walk away, her heels striking the pavement like gunfire. “Wait.”
Scarlett stops but doesn’t turn around.
“Why?” I ask, hating myself for asking her this, but the question has been burning its way through my mind for years.
For a moment, I think she won’t answer, but she turns her head. The half-moon and the golden glow from the three-headed lamppost cast her profile in a mix of light and shadow. Her voice is low, hushed, and dripping with contempt when she says, “Because you have everything I want.”
I throw my hands up in the air, dropping them hard and slapping them against my thighs. “Like what, Scarlett? What do I possibly have that’s made you hate me this much?”
This time, she does face me, and for the first time I see it—not jealousy or rage, but envy. Brutal and soul-crushing envy. “My parents’ admiration. Ivory’s friendship. And…” She hesitates, her usual icy tone breaking on a hitched breath. “Maddox’s love.”
Shaking my head, I say, “I never asked for any of that.”
“You never had to.” Her bitter smile slices me like a razor. “But I did.”
I take a step forward, but when she backs away, I freeze. “That wasn’t my fault.”
Because maybe, if she weren’t such a conniving bitch, she would have had everything she wanted. Everything she hatesme for. But no, Scarlett McQueen doesn’t have a nice bone in her angry little body.
“Never said it was,” she whips back at me. “Anyway, I wanted you to know that I’m sorry. I may hate you,” she says with a sneer, “but I never wanted you dead.”
“No, just terrorized.” When she doesn’t respond and simply spins on the heels of her black Louboutins, I call out, “I wish you well, Scarlett, I truly do.”
“I know,” she replies without missing a beat.
She slides into the driver’s seat of her sleek, red Corvette, and as she drives away, I clutch the doorframe, watching her go. What the fuck? I almost feel bad for her. Almost. I understand what it’s like to want—need—someone’s love. To do everything within your power to try to earn that love, only to be met with cold contempt. That’s literally my relationship with my mother. But for Scarlett to use me as an outlet for her anger and hurt…
Perhaps one day, I can forgive her, but today’s not it. Not when I’m still shaken up over what happened, and my body is still healing from what Rook did to me. But I don’t hate her. I want to hate her, but I don’t. After stepping back inside Folly House and closing and locking the door, I walk to my little corner of the living room. Plopping down on the stool, I stare at the sinister cat for a moment, wanting the finished product to be perfect…
…or maybe not.
Art, like life, shouldn’t be flawless. True beauty, I’ve found, is in the wonderful little imperfections, and when I pick up the charcoal and put it to canvas, I contemplate where I was only a few years ago. Lost. Scared. Isolated inside my own mind. I’ve come far, and the road to getting here was pavedwith tears.
So many tears.
“Hurry, Alice, our next adventure is only a minute away!”
My father’s words echo in my mind, and I smile because, after trekking that road and making it to the end, I’m finally ready to see where this wild adventure takes me…
EPILOGUE
“Oh, ’tis love, ’tis love, that makes the world go round!”
—Alice,Alice in Wonderland
It’d be nice to say Maddox and I had our happily ever after, but like I told Ivory, those types of endings are found only in fairy tales. Reality is messy. It’s scary and harsh, and there’s a certain madness in Wonderland that infects those of us who call this town home. It brings us back even when we try to escape it because this is where we belong. Wonderland is in our blood, in our soul, and it’s here where Maddox and I will have our plain old ‘happily.’
Nothing more and nothing less.