Page 24 of Cry Madness

“That’s what I thought,” I sneer with a bitter nod.

I spin on the heel of my Doc Martens, and as I stride away without a backward glance, not even when she calls my name. Nor do I cry, because, honestly, my tears aren’t for her. They never were, because I learned too young that I only had one actual parent. The other was just a placeholder for the word ‘mother.’

When I return to my room, I beeline right for the easel, but it’s too late. The creative spell is broken—and not because of Katherine. Nope, it’s Maddox’s fault because all I want to do is strike back at him. Knock him off his axis the way he topples me off mine.

Every part of me wishes I could hate Maddox Hathorne. Life would be simpler if I despised him. The problem is—my problem has always been—I can’t hate him. We’ve been friends since second grade, and even after…everything…he never did a thing to hurt me other than be in the wrong place at the wrong time. And yes, occasionally, push my buttons. But if I’m being honest, life is lonely without him. I was lonely in Riverton, and I'm still lonely now without him. Some days, it takes every drop of willpower not to call him or text him because I know if I did, it would open a floodgate, and I’m not ready to drown in him.

And yet my charcoal-coated fingers reach for my phone. “Fuck it.”

Because I’m damned either way.

Might as well tumble into perdition swinging.

I text Ivory.

Me: What time are you picking me up tonight?

I hadn’t told Ivory I intended to go with her to Folly House in case I changed my mind. Rather, I chickened out. But if Maddox won’t leave me alone, it’s time I stepped up and fought fire with fire.

Right?

That is why I’m going.

It has nothing to do with me wanting to see him.

Nothing at all.

Ivory’s reply comes within seconds.

Ivory: Omg! I’m so glad ur coming

Ivory: We’ll have a blast.

That’s debatable.

Ivory: Wear something cute

Me: I was going to wear a brown burlap sack

Ivory: Ha. Ha.

Ivory: I’ll be there at 9

Me: I’ll be the chick in black

Ivory: F U

Me: Not tonight, babe, I have a headache

Ivory: a-hole

It’s adorable how Ivory, a whole grown-ass woman, does her level best not to swear. A few curses sneak out now and then, but mostly, she keeps it clean.

For the thousandth time, I’m tempted to call her and tell her everything that happened while I was in Riverton, but as usual,my fingers don’t dial because I don’t want to upset her. She has enough of Scarlett’s bullshit to deal with without adding my problem to her burden.

To hell with Rook Knavish.

I ran from him once and have been hiding ever since I came home. No more running, and no more hiding. Not from him, or Scarlett, and not from Maddox. My dad once called me a phoenix. I tumbled into Jabberwocky Bay. Nearly drowned that day. Rather than fear water after that, I set my mind on becoming a strong swimmer because if I ever fell into the water again, I was determined not to sink. I’ll be damned if anyone will ever keep my head below the waves.