Page 36 of Cry Madness
Maddox: Yes it is
Me: I swear to god go fuck yourself
Maddox: No fun in that. I’d rather fuck you
I don’t give him the satisfaction of a reply, but that doesn’t stop the…tingle…the tiny flutter…deep in my belly. Nor can I deny the rush of warmth between my legs because the only time I felt alive since the day my father came home and told me he was sick was graduation night—in Maddox’s arms—and I’m terrified I’ll never feel that again. It would be so easy to succumb to his charms, to his wicked mischievousness, volleying playful texts back and forth with him. But I don’t, for the sake of my sanity, and instead, I grab the coffee with every intention of emptying the contents into the toilet. I don’t do that, either, though. Why waste a perfectly good beverage?
After flopping down on the bed, I take a sip and hate that it’s a brown sugar oat milk espresso—the same type of drink Scarlett plucked from my hand and tossed in the trash. I don’t know why I do it—morbid nostalgia, probably—but I scroll through my camera roll. Scroll through all the photos of Maddox I never deleted and the zillion silly selfies we took together. I miss those days. I miss my friend. Most of all, I miss being happy.
But fear replaces nostalgia when I scroll too far, to the picture I took of the grotesque painting of my severed head Rook left on my easel at Krobes. It was a warning, a promise, and that night, he ambushed me at my dorm fully prepared to carry out that threat.
ELEVEN
“When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!”
—Alice,Alice in Wonderland
Acreeper.
Alice referred to me as a stalker, and I tend to agree with her since I am openly pursuing her. Would it still be considered stalking if I’m being totally blatant about it? I’m not exactly hiding behind this tree in Brakel Green, watching her stroll along the cobblestone path. I wish I could say I’ll stop shadowing her, but I like the thrill I get from seeing her see me.
And she does look right at me…
…while flipping me the finger as she rushes to class.
She’s adorable.
The afternoon breeze catches her blonde waves, billowing them behind her as she hurries toward Juniper Hall. Thosechunky black knee-high boots swallow her little feet, and when I trail my gaze up those lean legs, I want to haul her into a dark alcove, hitch up that black-and-white striped skirt, and slide my cock deep inside her.
I should have fucked her the other night at Folly House, but instead, I watched her walk away. Again. Walk away and leave me empty and aching for the girl I once knew, and when I step out from behind the tree, I follow her toward Juniper Hall.
“Good morning, Malice.”
“Eat a bag of dicks, Maddox.”
I place a hand on my stomach. “Thanks, but no thanks. I already had breakfast.”
Her eyes slide closed for a beat too long before she opens them with an exasperated shake of her head. “You are so annoying.”
“True, but you love me,” I counter, causing Alice to miss a step. She lurches forward, but I catch her, setting her back on her feet. “Was it something I said?”
She keeps walking, ticking off each sentence with her fingers. “It’s everything you say. It’s you sneaking into my house, and you will tell me how you got in. You leaving me coffee. You following me into your bathroom. You telling me you’re going to…to”—she lowers her voice at this part—“kiss me someplace other than my lips. You’re being a stalker, Maddox, and I won’t have it.”
I hop in front of her, walking backward. “Tell me you hate me, Alice. Tell me, right now, that you want nothing to do with me, and I’ll never bother you again. It’ll fucking kill me, but I’ll do it. I’ll let you walk out of my life twice, and this time, for good.”
“You’re infuriating,” she says. “Please let me pass. I’m already late.”
I step aside, keeping pace with her. Damn, she’s a speedy little thing. “That’s not a ‘you hate me and want nothing todo with me.’”
When we reach the end of the path, we’re at the entrance to the building, where she says, “I don’t hate you. Take that however you will.”
“I didn’t think so.” Grinning like a fool, I open the door for her. “See you later, Malice.”
I stand in the doorway watching her stroll away, and right when I’m about to turn and leave, I see it…the tiny grin she throws me from over her shoulder. The itty-bitty smile hits me like an arrow directly in the heart, and when I finally move my ass so other students can enter the building, I saunter off toward Briar Rose’s business department in Bremen Hall.
A tug on my watch frees it from the pocket of my jeans. I check the time. Alice isn’t the only one who’s late. I should have been in Managerial Best Practices five minutes ago. Pardon me while I don’t care. I’m enrolled at Briar Rose because Roman insisted that March and I follow in the footsteps of his other wards and get a ‘proper’ education. Whatever. It’s a waste of his time. I’m a mercenary, plain and simple, not the future CEO of some bullshit corporation. Roman’s tainted throne and tarnished crown will pass to Scarlett after he’s dead. She should be the one taking these boring-ass classes instead of majoring in art, not me. I’m content to live in the shadows, doing what I do best. And one day, when I’m too old to torture someone or can’t curl my finger around a trigger, I’ll retire with Alice at my side. Or some asshole will put a bullet between my eyes because, as the saying goes, live by the gun, die by the gun.
Either way is fine with me as long as I can live whatever life I have with Alice.