Page 33 of Cry Madness

But I’m not thinking about that sonofabitch. I’m safe in Wonderland, surrounded by my friends. Tiger Lily Manor is practically a fortress, and so is Briar Rose, and eventually—hopefully—enough time will pass that he’ll forget all about me…

If he hasn’t already.

When the police went to serve him with the restraining order, he was gone. Poof! Vanished like a fart in the wind.

The bell chimes, ending class. This is where Ivory and I part ways to go to our respective electives, mine being graphic design, and hers, French. We’re barely out of the lecture hall when March slams his shoulder into Ivory’s. I open my mouth to rip him a whole new asshole, but she stops me with a shake of her head.

“It’s fine.”

Scowling, I say, “To hell it is.”

Her shy grin and the way her cheeks bloom with color as she watches him storm down the corridor tell a whole story. “He’s harmless.”

March O’Hare is the polar opposite of harmless. He’s a beast of a man, with shaggy brown hair and angry eyes. He’s feral, downright frightening, with that threatening demeanor hiding a devilishly good-looking man. And he’s built like a brick shithouse, tall and wide with solid muscle and a legendary temper. I hate to admit it, but I understand why Roman kept him as a ward. And by ‘ward,’ I know exactly what being under the care of Ivory’s father entails for the boys he collects, using them as his arsenal.

I hate, hate, hate that Maddox is one of his soldiers, but the alternative is worse. He’d have no outlet for the mania that rages inside him, and while I know he does awful things, I justify them by telling myself he does them to bad people.

My following two classes zip by in a blur, and once the school day is done, I step outside and welcome the warm afternoon sun. I stroll toward the parking lot, and when I reach my SUV, I bite back a groan when “I Miss You” by Blink-182 sounds much too close…

…because it is, dammit.

Maddox parked his Dodge a few spots away from my vehicle. He’s got the windows open, with that song drifting from the radio. Fucking asshole. He crawls beneath my skin, infecting me with himself. Always has, and even after being away from Wonderland—from him—I’m still tainted by him. Ruined. Our first kiss should have been our last, but nope. I screwed that up royally. I wish I could rewrite the past. Erase the grief and guilt with a snap of my fingers. Fall into his arms and let the world fade away around us. Make the terrible memories just…go away and stay away.

But I’m not made of magic. I can’t undo the past, and when I hauled ass out of Wonderland, I ran not only from the ghost of my father. I also ran from Maddox because I was slipping under the tide, and I had to make the heartbreaking choice to drown alone or take him with me.

I spared him and drowned alone.

TEN

“Not all who wander are lost.”

—Cheshire Cat,Alice in Wonderland

“Oh, you’re home.”

Flinching, I almost made it to the top of the stairs. Almost. The sanctuary of my bedroom is close, and yet so far. I freeze, keeping my back to my mother. “Yep,” I reply tightly. “Isn’t it weird how that seems to happen every day around this same time?”

“Don’t be cute,” Katherine snaps. “Officer Monroe called.”

My knees turn to jelly, and I’d crumble if I didn’t have my hand wrapped around the banister. Please, please, please let it be that they found Rook. I turn slowly, facing my mother at the foot of the stairs. “What did he say?”

She purses her lips and shakes her head. “Nothing new.”

Well, shit, so much for hoping for the best.

“Okay, but what did he say, Mother?”

Is she deliberately being obtuse? Knowing her? Probably.

Katherine heaves out an audible sigh. “Like I said, Alice, nothing new. The officer was doing a routine check-in to tell us that the ghastly person is still missing.”

Of course he is, because I learned that Rook is many things, but careless isn’t one of them.

Everything Rook did was calculated. Carefully and perfectly coordinated. From our so-called chance meeting at the art gallery to his relentless pursuit. Too bad for me that I only figured that out after it was far too late.

“They’ll never find him,” I tell her.

“At least they’re still trying.” Katherine releases an exasperated huff. “My God, Alice, you could, at the very least, appreciate their efforts to keep looking.”