Page 78 of Cry Madness
Her broken whisper fucking kills me. “Haven’t we always been in this together?”
“Not always,” she admits. “And I’m sorry for that, too.”
I lead her around to the passenger’s side of the car. “Doesn’t matter now?—”
“But it does,” she interrupts. “I should never have pushed you away. Nor should I have left Wonderland.” Everything I need, everyone I love…it’s been here all along. “And not telling you about Rook, that was just—” When I try to protest against these unnecessary apologies, she stops me. “No, Maddox, please…” she pleads. “I need to say this out loud. I’m sorry for… For trying…” She takes a deep breath as she squares her shoulders, as if summoning all of her strength. “I’m sorry for trying to kill myself. I did it on purpose, and I’m sorry to you, but most of all, I’m sorry to myself.”
And there it is.
What I’ve been waiting for. All this time, Alice needed to admit this truth. Not to me, but to herself. Now, she can finally let go of all that pain and actually live her life.
Her eyes are welled with unshed tears. “Thank you for never giving up on me.”
“Never,” I rasp. “I’d never let you fall alone.”
I’ll always be there to catch her.
“Take me home, Maddox, please.”
To Folly House…
…where she belongs.
TWENTY-SEVEN
“But it’s no use now. Why, there’s hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!”
—Alice,Alice in Wonderland
It’s been one week and three days.
I bet that if I tried, I could pinpoint the time down to the hour, but instead, I’ll round it off to one week and three days, which feels more like three lifetimes.
Yesterday, we went to school as if nothing had happened. As if Rook hadn’t wanted me dead, and as if Maddox hadn’t killed him for hurting me. We simply moved on as if this were an ordinary Monday, when the truth is, everything is different.
Everything.
The Tweedles torched the maze. Burnt it right to the ground. Nothing’s left but scorched hedges and a charred wisteria. The chessboard was utterly destroyed. My father loved that maze. It’s also where I made most of my favorite memories. I shouldbe sad to know it’s gone, but oddly, it feels like the ending of one era and the beginning of something else.
Something new and exciting.
Alone in Folly House for the first time since I left Tiger Lily, I put away the dinner dishes and retreat to my quiet little corner of the living room. Maddox created a cozy little studio area where I wouldn’t be secluded away in one of the upstairs bedrooms whenever I want to draw. Honestly, I love sitting at my easel being smack in the center of the marvelous chaos when we’re all home together. After years of self-imposed isolation, I finally feel like I’m part of a family again. My father would be happy that I’m happy, and as I stare at the sinister, grinning cat, I say, “I think you might be my last monster.”
Because, also for the first time in years, I don’t feel like I’m drowning in a well of sorrow. I feel…lighter, brighter. Without the weight of grief holding me in the darkness, I want to keep climbing so I can feel the sun on my skin after living in the shadows. Perhaps I might even have this piece finished by the time Maddox gets home, and tomorrow, I can start something new.
Am I happy Maddox went with March on ajob? Absolutely not. But working for Roman was always inevitable, and being with him means accepting this. To love Maddox is to loveallof him—the good and ugly—the same way he loves me. If that makes me a bad person, well, I accept that, too.
I say to the drawing, “Okay, let’s get you finished,” but as soon as I touch the canvas with the charcoal, the sound of the doorbell startles me. I suppose it’ll take a while for the mental scars Rook left behind to fade, but until then, I’m a skittish mess as I drop the charcoal on the tray of the easel. However, my fright quickly turns to disgust when I see Scarlett on the security camera.
“Oh, God,” I groan, my hand poised on the doorknob. Wonder if she’ll go away if I ignore her. But she answers that question by following up the ring with a few sharp knocks. With a roll of my eyes, I yank open the door. “What do you want?”
The demon, as always, is dressed to the nines. Red blouse, black skirt, and black Louboutins. Makeup impeccable and her bright hair in a perfect updo, she is the epitome of style. Meanwhile, I look like roadkill in old, gray sweats and a white T-shirt. My hair, still damp from a shower, is up in a high, messy ponytail.
“I just…” Scarlett’s sentence trails off.Wow. I’ve never seen the Red Queen at a loss for words. I like it. But she squares her shoulders and straightens her spine. I swear to God, I can almost see her fix the invisible crown she thinks is perched atop those red curls. “I’m leaving Wonderland.”
“Bye,” I snap with a shrug.
I go to slam the door, but she stops me by throwing out her arm to catch it before it closes right in her face. “And to apologize.”