Page 48 of Cowboy’s Last Stand (His to Protect #1)

J ason waited in a holding cell for over an hour.

He’d demanded a phone call and been denied.

He’d asked to talk to Wade again, and he’d been ignored.

The same deputy who’d made him eat dirt earlier brought him a ham sandwich and a cup of coffee.

Jason accepted the meal with suspicion, but he was too hungry to decline.

After a careful inspection of the layers, he ate the sandwich in slow bites.

His stomach jangled with unsettled nerves.

He tried to focus on the positive. Natalie was unharmed.

The security camera footage would clear his name if they actually used it.

Surely, they wouldn’t try to pin the murder on him or manufacture evidence.

He wasn’t a drifter or a patsy. He’d had an impeccable military record before the accident. He’d never even been arrested.

There were causes for concern, of course. The Last Chance Sheriff’s Department was corrupt as hell. He was recovering from a traumatic brain injury. He had motive, opportunity, and a history of aggression toward Billy.

Jason raked a hand through his hair, wincing.

He had a scrape on his elbow he hadn’t noticed before.

He must have sustained it while tussling in the gravel with the deputy.

The man who’d cuffed him was now sitting at a desk across from the holding cell, watching him.

He smirked at the sight of Jason’s bloody elbow.

Ignoring the provocation, Jason went to the sink to wash up.

He covered the cut with a paper towel. The cell didn’t have a sleeping cot, just a concrete bench that appeared to have been constructed for maximum discomfort.

The aluminum toilet next to the sink had no lid and no privacy wall.

Jason resisted the urge to pace the iron bars like a caged tiger.

Instead, he stood at the back of the cell, practiced slow breathing, and waited to pounce.

The deputy stopped watching him, perhaps unnerved by his quietude.

Wade reappeared a few minutes later. He unlocked the cell and opened the door. “You’re free to go,” he said shortly. “My deputy will give you a ride to the outskirts of town. I recommend you get as much distance between yourself and my father as possible. He’s still looking for someone to blame.”

Jason was startled by the abrupt switch. “I’m no longer a suspect?”

“According to the coroner, the cause of death was an accidental discharge.”

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack,” Wade replied.

Jason didn’t understand how an accidental shooting had led to this sequence of events, but why look a gift horse in the mouth? He collected his backpack and walked away with the deputy, though he declined the transportation offer. They couldn’t make him leave town before he’d spoken to Natalie.

He found her vehicle parked across the street.

There was a public square nearby and several benches along the sidewalk.

He rested his backpack next to a bench and glanced toward the sheriff’s station.

Natalie was inside with Wade, standing at the glass doors that marked the front entrance.

They stood close together, her face turned up to his.

It was difficult to read expressions through the glass, but their body language was clear.

There was a connection between them that went beyond friendship.

Jason felt a hot surge of jealousy as Natalie’s slender arms went around Wade.

She clung to him for a long, torturous moment before they broke apart.

Then she pushed through the glass doors and stepped into the sunlight.

Even at a distance, Jason could feel the emotional kick as their eyes met.

When he’d thought she’d been hurt this morning, his entire world had come crashing down.

Seeing her unharmed made everything OK again.

Wade followed Natalie outside as if he had more to say. His jaw tightened with annoyance at the sight of Jason. Natalie touched Wade’s arm and spoke to him quietly. Shaking his head, he went back inside.

Jason supposed she’d chosen him over Wade, but the moment held little triumph. Wade had never been a serious contender for her affections. Jason, on the other hand, would move heaven and earth to be with her.

Unfortunately, she didn’t appear to feel the same way.

She walked toward him in cautious steps.

There would be no joyful reunion between them, no happy-ending embrace.

She’d rejected Wade, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t also reject him.

That was what she’d done last night after learning of his deception.

Today’s bizarre tragedy hadn’t erased any of the mistakes he’d made.

He stepped forward to meet her halfway. “Can we talk?”

She nodded her assent and accompanied him to the park bench.

He knew she had to pick up Marcus soon. Incredibly, it was still early afternoon.

Yesterday, they’d gone out for coffee at this time.

Last night, they’d been together. He’d made passionate love to her.

It seemed like a dream, a sweet fantasy.

They sat together at the edge of the town square. It was quiet and peaceful, but the outdoor setting did little to ease his tension.

“Do you know what happened?” he asked.

“I know Billy was shot,” she replied. “And I know that Gabe put the gun in the truck.”

“Gabe? Really?”

“I saw the footage.”

Jason’s estimation of Gabe Luna slipped down another notch. The kid had tried to frame him for murder. Without the security camera, he might have succeeded.

Natalie tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

Her hair was soft and untamed, her face devoid of makeup.

She was wearing her yoga pants with a wool sweater.

She’d probably intended to spend the day moping around the house, trying to forget him.

“London came over while I was watching the video. She told me an interesting story.”

Jason listened as she recounted the tale.

“I think Billy drugged the girls’ drinks, Gabe argued with him about it, and they scuffled.”

It sounded plausible. It also sounded more like self-defense than an accident. “Are they charging him with anything?”

“I guess not.”

Jason took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I thought you’d been hurt.”

A crease formed between her brows. “Why?”

“Wade called me on your phone and said there’d been an accident. I assumed he was talking about you, of course, and he wouldn’t give me any details. I thought Billy had attacked you or even killed you.”

She stared at him without comprehension.

“I’ve had some bad moments in my life,” he continued. “My mother’s death. The explosion in Kabul. This one ranks in the top three.”

Her pretty mouth twisted. “I didn’t have a great day either.”

Jason swallowed hard. He wished he could take away her pain and fix all the wrongs between them. “Did you think I was guilty?”

“I didn’t know what to think.”

His heart sank further. He supposed he deserved her lack of faith. He’d earned her distrust, and now he had to reap what he sowed. If she believed him capable of murder, how could he convince her to give him another chance?

“I reread Mike’s letters,” she said, changing the subject.

He smothered a curse because it was the last thing he wanted to talk about.

“Did you write them?”

“He asked for my help,” Jason said tightly.

“Does that mean yes?”

He didn’t respond. This was the truth he’d never meant to tell.

“Was it all you? Every word?”

“It wasn’t. Not at first.”

“Not until I was hooked?”

“He loved you,” Jason said in Mike’s defense. “He wanted to make you happy.”

“What about you?” she shot back. “Why did you do it? What motivation could you possibly have for writing intimate letters to a stranger?”

He shrugged, uncomfortable.

“Surely you have a reason. I want to hear it.”

“I don’t know why I did it,” he said honestly. “Maybe I was lonely. I wanted to share my thoughts with someone, and you… seemed to appreciate the effort.”

“You had no one else to write to?”

“No one special.”

“How was I special? You’d never met me.”

He searched his memory and settled on a single image. “Mike had a photo of you pinned to the wall by his bunk.”

Her gaze narrowed. “What photo?”

Jason wondered if Natalie had sent Mike any sexy pictures. Mike certainly hadn’t displayed photos like that or passed them around for his comrades to see. “It was you with Marcus when he was a baby. You were cradling him, smiling down at him. It was very natural. Motherly.”

She glanced away, seeming melancholy. “Did I remind you of your mother?”

“Yes,” he admitted. He hoped she wouldn’t take offense to the comparison or find it even weirder than his inappropriate fixation on another man’s wife. Natalie looked nothing like his mother, though they were both beautiful and dark-haired. It was more about the serene, caring essence she exuded.

“So you were lonely,” she said in a curt tone. “You didn’t have a mommy to send you care packages or a girlfriend to read your letters. Did you stare at my photo and pretend I was yours?”

He flushed at the accusation. “I knew who you belonged to.”

“Did you read the letters I wrote to Mike?”

“He didn’t share all of them.”

“But he shared some, right? Because it was a conversation. An exchange.”

Jason fell silent again. There was no explanation that made it sound innocent. His shady behavior had tainted every action.

“I cherished those letters,” she said, touching the center of her chest. “Now I feel violated, like a stranger crawled into bed with me. I feel like everything I believed about my husband was a lie.”

“It wasn’t,” Jason said. “He was devoted to you.”

“You know what’s worse?” she asked. “You hijacked my grief. I can’t stop crying, but it’s because of you, not because of him. I’m not in love with him anymore, and I hate you for taking that away from me.”

He reached out to take her hand. “I’m sorry.”

She jerked away from his grasp. “Sorry for what? Writing fake letters, screwing me senseless, or lying to my face?”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you,” he said, stricken. “I came to Last Chance to tell you that Mike saved my life. I followed you to the bar with that intention. When I realized you worked there, I changed my plan, and…”

“Decided to become a stalker and seduce me?”

“I wanted to protect you,” he growled. “What would you have done if I’d told you the truth?”

Her lips trembled at the question. “I would have sent you away.”

“Exactly.”

“So the end justifies the means?”

“No,” he said, standing. “But I’d do the same thing all over again.”

“You’d do it again?”

“Yes, I would,” he said with complete conviction.

He had to speak the truth, even if it was too late to make a difference.

“I love you, Natalie. If the choice is between never having you and having you for a little while, I’d choose having you every time.

I would go through any torture, any hardship, for a chance to be with you just once. ”

She shook her head in wonder and denial. “I have to go.”

His stomach clenched as if she’d punched him. Although he’d expected the blow, it was still devastating. Like a fool, he’d kept hoping that she shared his feelings. She wasn’t in love with Mike anymore—but she wasn’t in love with him either.

“So that’s it? It’s over?”

She rose to her feet. “It was over last night. Saying you love me doesn’t fix anything. You lied to me, ruined my memories, and became a murder suspect. I’m a single mother. I don’t need this kind of drama in my life.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets because they itched to touch her. “Can I say goodbye to Marcus?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Will you give him my letter?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, her voice breaking. “Damn you.”

Jason wasn’t a man who cried in public, not for any reason.

He could thank his father for teaching him how to disconnect from his emotions.

They’d stood side by side at his mother’s funeral, dry-eyed and stoic.

But the thought of never seeing Marcus again got to him.

It cut right through into the center of his heart.

He blinked a few times, clearing his throat.

Her eyes filled with the tears he was holding back. “Don’t make this harder on me. Please.”

Instead of falling to his knees and begging for forgiveness, he respected her request and fell silent. His chest ached with hopelessness as he watched her leave. There was nothing he could do to change her mind.

He loved her and Marcus, and he’d lost them both.