Page 35 of Cowboy’s Last Stand (His to Protect #1)

N atalie let Jason sleep for several hours.

He drowsed through the movie, sort of half watching, and didn’t rouse when it was over.

Marcus chattered away at him, oblivious, while Natalie tidied up the kitchen.

She put Marcus in the bath and did some laundry.

Marcus ran around in his pajamas until bedtime.

Natalie studied Jason from a distance, reluctant to disturb him.

He looked younger in repose. His stillness suggested a slumber without dreams.

It had been a tumultuous twenty-four hours.

She’d tossed and turned last night after their argument.

She couldn’t believe he’d accused her of wanting a stand-in for Mike.

She glanced at the framed photographs by the dining table, the triangle case with the American flag, and the bronze star shining behind glass.

It wasn’t a shrine. She didn’t need objects and images to remember her husband.

Frowning, she rubbed the empty space on her right finger.

She’d removed her wedding ring after the night with Wade.

It had felt wrong to continue wearing the symbol of loyalty, as if she’d been unfaithful.

Maybe she should put all of Mike’s things away in the box where she kept his letters.

Maybe it was time to say goodbye.

Tears pricked her eyes as she turned back to Jason. She wanted to shut off the TV, and the remote was on the couch next to him. When she reached for it, he gripped her wrist, quick as lightning. His strong fingers trapped her in place.

“Luna,” he grumbled. His eyes were open but unseeing.

She stared at him in surprise, uncertain if he was lucid.

He blinked and released her. “Sorry.”

Natalie picked up the remote, moving slowly, and switched off the TV. She was about to ask him what he’d been dreaming when Marcus burst from his bedroom with an eager expression. He jumped onto the couch next to Jason.

“Will you read me a story?” Marcus asked.

Jason ruffled Marcus’s hair. “Sure, bud. Which story?”

“I like Good Night, Dinosaurs .”

“Let’s do it.”

Natalie kissed Marcus’s forehead. “Sleep tight.”

He scampered into his room. Jason rose to follow, stretching one arm over his head as if his muscles ached.

She listened to the pleasant timbre of his voice while she folded laundry.

Marcus asked Jason a series of questions she couldn’t hear.

Then Jason emerged from the bedroom, turning off the light on his way out.

He leaned against the wall with one shoulder and watched her work.

“What were you two talking about?” she asked.

“Guy stuff.”

She smiled at his answer, and he smiled back at her. He was so handsome it hurt to look at him. And yet, there was something about his guarded expression that disturbed her. Something that warned her not to give her heart away.

“I’m going upstairs,” he said.

Her throat went dry. She thought he might say more, issue a direct invitation, but he left it unspoken.

The words didn’t matter; she knew what he wanted.

It was the same thing she wanted, but was it the right thing?

Would a few nights of pleasure be worth the fallout if he didn’t stay?

She felt as if her entire life hung in the balance of this decision.

He closed the distance between them and touched his lips to her forehead. Then he brushed by her and walked outside into the gentle rain.

Natalie stood like a statue, her pulse racing and her mind in turmoil.

Last night, Jason had accused her of making excuses to avoid intimacy.

She was afraid to feel, afraid to change.

The thought of falling in love again terrified her.

They were quite a pair, weren’t they? Jason couldn’t stop moving; she was frozen in place.

She stared at the towels she’d just folded.

They were mismatched, worn soft and frayed at the edges.

Next to the towels was a stack of men’s clothing that Jason had washed and folded himself.

This sight brought her to her senses. Was she really dithering about starting an affair with a man who helped with chores, handled her son like a pro, and made her swoon with longing?

She’d have to be crazy to turn him down.

Her father’s words drifted back to her: If you wait for every fear to go away, you’ll wait forever.

Leaving the laundry area, she rushed into her bedroom and stripped off her clothes. After a quick shower, she dressed in a soft sweatshirt and leggings. Then she went to the kitchen and rifled through the top cabinet in search of the only liquor in the house.

The bottle wasn’t there.

She gaped at the empty shelf for a few seconds before it dawned on her what had happened.

London. London had happened.

Shutting the cabinet in annoyance, she paced the living room.

She was going to fire that damned babysitter.

The tequila had been a bad idea, however.

It reminded her of Mike, and she’d cracked the seal with Wade.

She didn’t want to think about either man when she was with Jason.

She also didn’t need a drink to boost her courage.

She was just stalling because she was afraid to take the leap.

Natalie checked on Marcus, who was sleeping peacefully in his room.

She grabbed Jason’s laundry before leaving the house.

The rain continued to fall. As she climbed the stairs, she noted a golden glow in the upstairs apartment.

Feeling awkward, she knocked on the door like a visitor to her own residence.

Jason opened it a few seconds later. He was wearing sweatpants and nothing else. The smell of his fresh-showered skin, along with the sight of his bare chest, almost made her swoon. The man was built to perfection.

“Hi,” she said, smothering a nervous giggle.

He gestured for her to come in and closed the door behind her.

“I brought your laundry.”

“Thanks,” he said and took the clothes off her hands. He donned the flannel shirt from the top of the stack but left it unbuttoned. Somehow, he looked even sexier that way than shirtless.

Natalie dragged her gaze from his chest, flustered. A fire burned bright in the hearth. She moved toward it, pleased by the cozy scene. “This is nice.”

He gestured to the couch. “Have a seat.”

She sat down in front of the fire. Jason took the seat next to her. They shared a moment of awkward silence.

“I bought condoms,” he said.

Her eyes, which had drifted down to his chest again, flew up to his face. She wasn’t sure how to respond to his pronouncement. Yay?

He raked a hand through his hair, wincing. “Sorry. That wasn’t very smooth.”

“You don’t have to seduce me.”

“Let me try again.”

“It’s not necessary. Answering the door without your shirt on did the trick.”

A husky laugh rumbled out of him. “There’s something I want to say.”

She hoped it would be short.

“You mentioned survivor’s guilt last night.”

“We don’t have to rehash that.”

“I feel guilty, obviously, for surviving the blast that killed M… my comrade. I’ve tried to heal myself and punish myself in equal measures. I can’t deny that. But guilt isn’t a factor in my attraction to you.”

She didn’t argue with him. It would only prolong the conversation.

“It’s definitely not the reason I fell for you.”

Natalie had to shut him up now before his emotional declaration sent her into a panic. She didn’t want his soft words; she wanted his hard body. Twining her arms around his neck, she touched her mouth to his. “Stop talking.”

“OK,” he said and kissed her.

The kiss was a turning point. It felt like a step into the unknown, a choice that could have devastating implications.

Sleeping with Wade had been a drunken, thoughtless mistake.

This was different. It was meaningful and deliberate.

Jason explored her mouth in delicious strokes, hungry but not hurried.

His close-cropped hair was damp beneath her fingertips, and his mouth tasted like mint.

She wanted to devour him, to suck and lick his skin.

When she tangled her tongue around his, he groaned in response.

He seemed determined not to rush, even though she was clutching at his hair and pressing her body against his.

She needed more skin, more sensation. She slid her hands beneath the open collar of his shirt.

His breath hitched as she splayed her palms over the muscles in his back.

She wrestled his shirt halfway down his arms and no farther.

He didn’t cooperate by taking it off. He also didn’t try to climb on top of her or let her climb on top of him.

When she strained toward him, his big hands gripped her waist to hold her still.

It was maddening. He continued his slow, sensual onslaught, ignoring her signals to go faster.

Natalie broke the kiss after a few moments.

Although it was a chilly night, and the window was open, she felt overly warm.

He looked sort of smug and amused, which irritated her.

He thought he could set the pace? She tugged off her sweatshirt, revealing a shell pink camisole beneath.

It was edged in lace and silky-thin. Her nipples poked against the fabric in an impudent bid for his attention.

His expression went slack at the sight. So did his hands on her waist.

As soon as his grip loosened, she was free to move as she wished. She took full advantage by wrapping her arms around his neck and straddling his lap.

Oh. Oh, yes.

Judging by his arousal, he wasn’t as cool and collected as he seemed.

He was raging hard, thick with desire. The apex of her thighs met his jutting length.

Her lacy breasts brushed his bare chest, and his eyes, which were still fixed on her, blazed with heat.

When their mouths joined again, the gloves were off.