Page 45 of Covet (The Red #3)

Chapter Forty-Five

Noah

Listen to Beautiful Soul

by Jesse McCartney

I waited for Elle in the diner while I stared into my now-cold coffee.

When she texted, I didn’t plan to meet her. But she’d made it sound urgent, and we’d be working closely for a while longer so I agreed.

We’d already set up the new rules between us after the meeting with JJ. It took me a while to find the inner numbness to push forward, but now that I committed to Daisy and had my future straight, it was becoming easier.

I’d never hurt Elle’s chances of stardom—I wanted her to succeed and be happy. If I had to suck it up and spend time with her for the album, I’d make it work. It was the social outings I was unsure about. Seeing her and Coop together and pretending I’d never held her like she was mine may kill me.

I was weak. I’d have to take a step away from the group for a while and see if I can reset.

No more club outings together. No more planned trips.

No casual diner meet-ups. I’d spend all my free time with Daisy and work.

Eventually, I prayed I’d be able to handle the pain with ease.

Maybe I’d open up to Adam and see how he intended to handle his return.

Elle came through the door and my breath automatically caught. God, she was beautiful. Dark hair twisted into a messy bun. Over-large dark eyes scanning the place until settling on me in the far back booth. Olive skin a bit flushed as she strode over, dressed in baggy jeans, cardigan, and sneakers.

I smothered the raw emotions that fought for freedom and forced a polite smile. “Hey. I ordered you coffee.” She slid in the opposite seat. Up close, I noticed the shadows under her eyes and tender bruise on her lips, as if she’d been biting the tender flesh nonstop. “Everything okay?”

Her hands shook as she reached for the menu, then dropped it. “No. Everything is falling apart.”

I craved to hide behind my defenses and not respond but this was Elle. I’d do anything for her. “Tell me what’s going on and how I can help.”

She let out a half laugh, half sob. “Of course, you’d say that. Because you’re my friend. You always looked out for me even when I didn’t know.”

I watched her, uneasy. It seemed like she was falling apart but I thought things were going good for her and Coop.

She continued, fiddling with the sleeve of her sweater.

“I have some things to tell you and I’m scared.

So, I’m asking that you hear me out first, and then I’ll accept any decision you give. Does that sound fair?”

My heart pounded in my chest. I tried to keep calm, and took a sip of coffee. “Yes. Just so you know I don’t need to listen to apologies or explanations, Elle. If that’s the reason for this meeting, there’s no need.”

Her gaze crashed into mine. “I know.”

“And if it’s about you needing to pull back from our performances or the plan JJ set out, I’ll do anything you want. And I won’t be mad.”

Those eyes lit with fire, and shut me right up. “I know, Noah! I need to get this out before I vomit so please just listen.”

I nodded. She dragged in a breath.

“I broke up with Coop.”

I felt my eyes bug out as I stared, but managed to remain quiet.

“What happened between us really made me think about what I was missing in our relationship. Loving Coop was a habit. I hate that I’m saying this aloud because I feel like a total bitch, but it was simply easier being with him than being alone.

In the beginning, I truly believed I loved him in the way I needed.

But I think I loved being in this amazing group together more.

It was like we were this force, you know?

Living in New York, clawing our way to the top, partying at the top clubs and working at Red, it was like an amazing show that I was starring in. ”

I understood completely. I’d reacted the same at times, flushed with pride and arrogance that I was a DJ in a hot club, with the most beautiful people who ran in the top circles. It was like being our own celebrity in our heads. I loved every fucking moment without apology.

“When we started working together, I knew we had a connection. It was easy being with you. I could be myself and you were happy with whatever side I showed. No judgment. It was the core of our friendship, I think. I didn’t expect it to turn to more. But it did.”

The waitress came by, refilled our mugs, and eased away.

My entire body trembled with the unknown. I didn’t know where Elle’s dialogue was going but I became scared, too. I couldn’t do this again. “We went over this before and I?—”

I broke off at her evil glare, then found myself smothering a laugh. “Sorry,” I muttered, holding up my hands. “Go on.”

“I thought it was the music,” she said starkly, clasping her hands together on the menu.

“It made sense. As you mentioned when two actors fall for each other but break up after the project is over. Creating those songs together opened up a new part of me. I never wanted it to end. So, yeah, it was easy to think we couldn’t help falling for each other, but I was willing to go all in.

I saw the possibility of us, Noah. I thought I wanted it, until that night at the club, when it was easier to just fall back into my pattern with Coop. Keep things easy. Avoid the mess.”

“I don’t blame you,” I choked out, hating the vulnerability in her eyes; the trembling of her lower lips as she tried to be brave and tell me her heart.

“I know. It’s another reason why I love you.”

I stilled. Swallowed back the lump in my throat. Tried to speak but found my voice gone.

“I love you, Noah. Our music didn’t act as some excuse or false magic.

Music only helped me uncover it. But I didn’t break up with Coop because of you.

I broke it off because he wasn’t my person.

I know you’re moving in with Daisy and may have decided to commit to her.

God knows, maybe that would be better, she deserves you more than I do.

” She swiped at her eyes and pushed on. “I’m not here to change your mind, or give you a big speech on the reasons you should pick me.

I just want you to know I made some decisions. ”

I gave a shuddering breath. My insides were breaking apart with each word, spinning out on the three most important ones.

I love you.

“I swear I’ll respect the boundaries if you stay with Daisy.

I’ll never tell Coop or her about what happened between us and it can die in the grave.

But I’m also not interested in being some music star on my own.

The only reason it worked and why I was so happy performing was because of you. My Muse.”

The tears streaked down her cheeks. In wonder, I watched as she gave a weepy smile.

“Sorry. I’m almost done. I’m going to be fine so please don’t feel guilty if you think the best thing for you is to move on.

Maybe this album was meant to give you the opportunity to be a producer and me the exposure to finally snag a role.

Either way, I’ll never regret a second. Being with you in this short time, letting me love you, was one of the best things in my life. ”

Elle pushed the coffee mug away. “I’m done now. You don’t have to say anything. You deserved to hear my truth no matter what happens, okay?”

I spotted all the hidden longing and naked emotion banked in her eyes, but I still couldn’t manage to speak. The numbness I’d been cultivating slowly dissolved but the mess underneath was too monstrous to sort out into words that would make sense.

“Okay.”

She nodded, ducking her head, but not before I saw the agony there; the realization I couldn’t give her what she wanted. “Thanks for listening.”

Elle stood up and walked out of the diner.

I watched her.

She loved me.

Yeah, she’d screwed Coop, but I knew why she did. It was easier to blame the music on our connection, but the way she explained how it was the vehicle that brought us the truth slammed through me like a freight train.

Holy shit. Elle was right. It had always been there between us, but music had brought love to the forefront. How could I possibly reject the possibility by trying to be safe?

What about Daisy? I’d just given her my promise and full commitment.

What about Coop? He’d find out about us and lose his shit, bringing a crusade of revenge that will affect Elle.

What if Elle changes her mind once we give it a try? The mess would eventually settle and we’d be alone, in our own routine. It could all blow up and then all of this would have been for nothing.

What will happen to the group ? No one would be able to be in the same room together let alone hang out like we’ve done the past years.

Elle loved me. She didn’t want to do music without me. She’d taken the leap and poured out her heart, not knowing my answer.

Suddenly, I began to laugh, and every cell in my body fired up with one goal.

No way was I letting her go.

I threw down a twenty-dollar bill and rushed out of the diner.