Page 42 of Covet (The Red #3)

Chapter Forty-Two

Elle

Listen to My Tears Ricochet

by Taylor Swift

“ P ush, Elle. Give me one more. You can do it.”

I glared at Coop and swallowed my rude comments.

I swore I’d give this relationship a fair shot and damned if going to the gym was part of it.

He was always begging me to come work out with him, and I figured it would be a great way to build our connection.

He’d been so happy I thought it was worth it.

Yeah, I was wrong.

I pushed the stupid weights up one more time, while he cheered like an idiot, then got them back in the holder. Rolling up with a groan, I reached for my water. “I did it.”

“You did, baby. Good work! But I’ve noticed your abs need a little tightening so I want to show you this ten-minute routine I’ve been perfecting.”

I blinked. “My abs look great.”

“Of course, they do! But all of us can use a little tweak to make them perfect. Wait till swimsuit season comes. Gabby and Daisy will be jelly. Plus, you’ll have a stronger core for your shows!”

I rolled my eyes at the statement. “Honestly, Coop? I’m done. I’m tired and need a shower. But thanks for doing this with me. You’re an amazing teacher.”

He beamed and I immediately felt bad. I flicked my gaze around and noticed all the women staring at him.

Coop was sexy. With those bulging muscles, ginger curls, and jawline that could cut glass, he was always a hot commodity when we went out.

I remember me and Landon giggling about how half of the fun was showing off the men who belonged to us, but lately, it wasn’t giving me the usual jolt.

In fact, everything between Coop and I felt flat.

Even the sex.

After our bathroom jaunt and talk with Noah, I decided to really focus on our relationship. I wanted to give it a fair shot outside of distractions. I wondered if our pursuit of different ventures had caused a rift, so I made a plan to go all-in.

I just wish I was enjoying it more.

The sex was technically satisfying—as always—but lacked depth. Maybe I’d never looked deeper before. Maybe it was never on my radar to care. But after kissing Noah and sinking into all the big emotions, I was desperate to recreate it with Coop.

Coop was sweet. He wanted me to succeed.

He wanted my body to be healthy and fit, and I know it had nothing to do with how I looked on his arm.

He was always lecturing me about creating better health habits and said multiple times he worried about people who’d die young because they didn’t have the knowledge or a good coach.

Opening a gym with Max was giving him a purpose. I glimpsed it in his energy and passion every time he talked about the project. I was happy for him. I only wished I felt the same way and could share his interest.

“How about we go both shower and I’ll take you to dinner?” Coop asked.

I smiled. “Sounds good.”

The rest of the evening passed in our normal routine.

Dinner at our favorite café, where plenty of lean options were available.

Coop didn’t even comment when I ordered a heaping bowl of fettucini alfredo, pretty much the worst thing after a good workout.

We drank wine and talked about the gym and JJ’s advice on the next step.

“I agree,” Coop said, forking up a piece of grilled fish. “You and Noah have reached the limit of what you can do together. He’s happy for you, right? Not acting all jealous or selfish?”

“No, of course not. He’s not like that.”

“You never know. I’m glad you found your thing, Elle. Acting was a dead end. Isn’t it amazing we’re both getting everything we wanted?”

“Do you ever miss photography?” I asked curiously. “It’s like once the gym came into play you just let it go.”

Coop shrugged. “I’ll always be into it, but this is a better way to have a career. Photography is a great hobby. But I needed something that was more stable, especially when we move in together.”

I stiffened. “I thought we put that aside for now.”

“Yeah, but things are better now. I think I needed to let the Adam/Landon thing cool off. But Max is pretty happy, and we’ve all moved on. We should make an official commitment and do this thing. It’s time.”

When Coop made a decision, there was rarely a discussion. Same thing with the gym, or his decision to push me away from acting. I used to like his confident direction. But now? I felt as if I wasn’t being heard.

“I’m not ready,” I said, taking a sip of wine. “Let’s just see what happens between us.”

Irritation flicked from his aura. “Seriously? It’s a waste of money, Elle. Daisy and Noah are doing it, and they’ve been together less time than us. Stop being chicken shit and make the leap. You need to lean into risk, not run away from it.”

I glared across the table. “I don’t care what they’re doing. I’m still unsure and that’s the end of it.”

“No discussion? Real mature,” Coop muttered, throwing down his napkin. “It’s embarrassing, okay? Max keeps asking me if something’s wrong with us. I thought we were on the same page.”

“Whining isn’t mature either,” I said cooly.

And damned if we weren’t off and running. The stupid argument continued back to the apartment where we stomped around, and Coop tried to show how much he loved me by yelling. Finally, I was done. I went into the bedroom and sulked for a good hour. He crept back in and sat on the bed beside me.

“I’m sorry,” he said, reaching for me. I jerked back, not ready for physical contact. That caused him to let out an annoyed breath. “Come on, Elle. Let me make you come. I’ll make it good for you and we’ll be okay again.”

I stared at him in shock. Then I realized he was right. It was so much easier to solve issues with sex. I could slap a band aid on our problems and move on. Deal with them later. If I kept moving forward and making excuses for both of us, I never had to face the fallout.

A laugh escaped my lips. Holy shit, I’d blamed Noah for his passiveness but I was the queen. I despised conflict. It was the core of my issues, and if I could find a distraction, I went all in. Coop had been mine for too long now.

What if I blew it all up?

My muteness must’ve seemed like approval, because he was suddenly on me. Kissing, touching, pulling at my clothes with an arrogant confidence I used to relish. Now, there was nothing inside to respond, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Coop, wait.”

His hands reached for my panties but this time, I wasn’t wet. I pushed at his shoulders as the truth of what was happening washed over me like a bucket of cold water. “I mean it, Coop!”

He jerked back. “Elle. Come on, what do you want from me?”

I knew everything in that stunning, explosive moment.

“Nothing,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry, Coop. This isn’t right anymore. I can’t do it.”

He blinked in confusion. “Do what? Fuck? Do I need to drag you outside in front of a crowd so you can be turned on in the right way? Whatever you want, Elle. I’m in this for the long haul.”

I shook my head. “No. Oh, God, I’m so sorry.”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“We need to break up, Coop. I don’t want this anymore. Things have changed and I can’t go back. I’m so sorry.”

His stunned expression tore at my heart. “Stop saying you’re sorry! You just need some time. Are you on your period?”

I got off the bed and wrapped my arms around my body, slightly rocking. “No. This is about our relationship. I’ve been unhappy, and we’ve both tried, but this isn’t good for us. We’re too different. I’m sorry.”

“Stop!” he yelled, staring at me in shock. “Just…stop. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, okay? When we can have a rational conversation without all this mess. You had too much to drink. You’ve been stressed about cutting the album. We’re good together, Elle. You’ll see.”

In horror, I understood his denial. Coop didn’t see the cracks that had deepened into craters.

I knew things wouldn’t change. I spoke gently, trying to get him to listen.

“Coop, I’m sober. I’m not mad. I’ve been wrestling with this for a while now but I wanted to try.

I’m simply not happy with you and I don’t think you are with me. It’s time to let each other go.”

“After all we’ve put into this? I love you. Doesn’t that count for anything? Do you think I did something like Max? Is there something else going on I don’t know about?”

I swallowed a sob as I watched him fall apart. “This is about us. I don’t love you like I should, Coop. And that’s not fair to either of us.”

“I’m not listening to this right now.” He walked to the door. “I’ll be at my place. Let’s calm down and talk tomorrow.”

“Coop—”

He slammed the door. I sank to my knees and cried. Cried for the heartbreak about to come. Cried for the release of finally seeing what I’d been in denial with. Cried because I needed to talk to Noah and tell him the truth, which would be the biggest betrayal to Daisy. My friend.

I cried for all of us and prayed we’d survive the fallout.