Page 36 of Covet (The Red #3)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Elle

Listen to Feels Like Home

by Chantal Kreviazcuk

T he album was done.

I smiled and pretended to be excited as Dusty ordered another round of beers.

We’d wrapped up at the studio and headed to the dingy Irish pub.

Aarron was engaged in a lively dialogue with Noah as he plowed through his cheeseburger.

The final recordings were tight, and Dusty said there’d be minimum edits.

JJ would take over and already scheduled a Zoom meeting to discuss marketing and our roles.

Since it was a mini album with only five songs, the next step would depend on how those did in the world.

JJ mentioned booking me to sing with Noah on his next gig, and was leaning hard into getting our TikTok accounts to take off. Kind of like acting, the right exposure was critical.

I had no issues with working my ass off to make this album hit.

My big problem was Noah, and our changing relationship.

I sipped my beer, picked at fries, and mentally checked out.

Since our kiss, we’d spent this past week making music and then sneaking off afterward.

After hours in the studio, Noah and I would squeeze into a diner booth, talk nonstop, and hold hands under the table.

We stole kisses in dark shadows. We stared at each other and shared secret smiles, while our eyes spoke the words we couldn’t.

I felt as if I was exiting in a fuzzy dream world that no longer existed. The music was over. The rest would play out in the brutal daylight, while everyone watched. And as much as Noah and I talked, not once did we deal with the big-assed elephants in the room.

Daisy and Coop.

We simply pretended they didn’t exist. Which was messed up but allowed us to continue without having to make a shattering decision neither of us were ready for. So, I drank my beer and celebrated the end while my insides twisted in fear of what happened next.

It took forever for them to leave, but finally Noah and I were alone.

“We did it,” he said quietly. He reached over and laid his palm on my knee. The heat of his fingers burned through denim. My body automatically softened at his nearness, and my heart fluttered. “You’re freaking out. I can tell.”

I gave a half laugh. “Yeah, you know me. My mind is spinning. We won’t need to be in the studio together anymore.”

His dark brows lowered in a frown. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily. We’ll be doing appearances together. Shooting videos for marketing. Cutting the album was only the first step.”

I shifted in my seat. “We won’t be alone as much. It’ll be…different.”

A sigh spilled from his lips. Lips I’ve kissed and licked and treasured. Lips that felt like they belonged to me. But they really belonged to Daisy. “I know. You’re right, things will get more complicated. I’m not sure how long I can keep pretending.”

“Me either. But then I wonder…” I trailed off, hating to say it out loud.

“What?”

I put my hand over his for the strength to say the next part. “I wonder if our relationship can survive outside of this. Our music. What if we blow up our lives and realize we made a mistake? The stakes are so high, Noah.”

He cupped my chin and forced me to meet his gaze. “Do you believe what I feel for you is about the music?”

My voice came out in a whisper. “I don’t know.”

Pain gleamed in those gray eyes. “Not for me, Elle. The music we make together is only part of what makes us so good together. I’ve loved you forever.

I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship, or hurt anyone.

And when Daisy came around? She was easy to fall for.

Easy to be with. She never had high expectations or demands on me until lately.

” He paused and pressed my forehead to his.

“But my heart? It’s always belonged to you. ”

A sob escaped my lips and he captured it with his mouth.

The kiss was slow and sweet and filled me up in all my empty, needy places.

“This is new for me. I only realized these feelings when we began working together. But I’ve never felt like this before, Noah.

Like I’m home when I’m with you. It’s addictive.

And if this is real love, then I’ve been missing it my whole life. ”

He smiled and I smiled back and we began laughing. “How could something this wrong feel so right?” he asked, shaking his head.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you willing to break up with Coop? To try with us?”

My gut lurched but I slowly nodded. “Yeah. What about you and Daisy?”

“She deserves my truth. I haven’t said I love her yet because it never felt right, even though the guilt almost killed me. She asked about moving in together after graduation.”

I squeezed my eyes shut in agony. “I can’t imagine how much she’ll hate me. Hurting her makes me want to throw up.”

“I know. Coop is going to want to beat the shit out of me. It’ll get real messy.”

I opened my eyes and we stared at each other. Both of us caught up in the haunting aftermath of our decision. “When?”

“We’re getting together on Thursday night and I don’t want to mess with that. Let’s all go out and party for the last time. We can talk to Coop and Daisy after. Privately, of course. But we should tell them at the same time so we can handle the fallout together.”

“Okay.” My palms sweat but when I kept thinking about the alternatives, nothing seemed right.

I couldn’t keep staying with Coop when my heart had jumped ship.

I couldn’t pretend our relationship satisfied me on a soul level when it was becoming simply a physical release for my dark fantasies. With Noah, none of that mattered.

“It’ll be okay, Elle. We’ll be okay.”

I nodded and leaned into him for strength.

If only I knew what was coming for us, I would’ve made a different decision.

But I didn’t. And then it was too late.