Page 19 of Covet (The Red #3)

Chapter Nineteen

Elle

Listen to Could be Good

by Kat Cunning

I walked into the studio with a nervous stomach, but tried to ignore it.

Even though it wasn’t an audition and I already had the gig with Noah, I wasn’t as confident with music.

I couldn’t slip into another identity and leave myself behind.

Writing songs was extremely personal. Singing lyrics I’d written was different from becoming someone else.

More personal. Once again, I wondered if I’d made a mistake, but when I saw Noah light up and come over to greet me, I knew it was done.

The needed to do my best with this opportunity. Noah was counting on me and I refused to let him down.

“Hey,” I greeted, smiling back. “This is pretty fancy.”

He nodded with pride. He wore dark washed jeans, a cream t-shirt that said Turn It Up, and Nike Road Warriors that looked brand-new.

He smelled like coffee, cotton, and mint.

I shoved away the urge to take another whiff of his scent.

“Right? Unison recorded here so JJ booked it for us.” The studio was nicely sized, with mics, instruments, a piano, and speakers neatly arranged around a few seats.

The booth where the producer and techs sat was empty except for a lone guy in a baggy sweatshirt and skinny black pants, hair scraped back into a ponytail, munching on a sandwich.

He lifted his hand then went back to his book.

“Dusty’s one of our producers—I’ll give you the formal intros later. He’s here in case we need anything but I wanted to use today to fool around and get comfortable. Go over lyrics and test out some music. Our sound engineer, Aaron, will be here next session. Sounds good?”

I nodded. “Sure, you’re the boss.”

He stopped, his serious gray eyes holding mine. “No, Elle, I’m not. We’re a partnership. I don’t want to assign roles or bullshit—if you want to sing, write, play piano, or belt out a badass riff on guitar, go for it.”

A grin curved my lips. “A riff, huh? Don’t tempt me. I could surprise you.”

“You always do.”

The soft words were barely loud enough to hear, but I caught them. A strange tingle shivered through me from his intimate look, but then he turned and headed toward the door. I followed.

We spent some time going over the set-up and testing mics.

I learned the terms used for some of the equipment.

Oversize panels were called mixing boards which controlled bass, treble, and fade effects.

Noah called the large box hooked up to some of the electric instruments a fuzz box, which gave the music different effects.

He showed me how most of it worked as I tested things out.

“I didn’t know you played piano,” I said.

“Barely. I took lessons when I got to New York. I had dreams of looking cool while I played music but I’m no Billy Joel.”

I laughed. “Sounds good to me.”

“I can do enough on the digital to add what we need to a particular song.”

I was amazed at the depth of his talent.

Noah rarely talked about himself or all the things he did in his pursuit of greatness.

Then he opened his laptop, fingers flying over the keyboard.

I caught sight of an old-fashioned notebook half opened.

Endless scribbles in bold black covered the pages.

Curious, I reached out to grab it. “Are these some of the songs you’re working on? ”

He glanced over and gave a self-conscious laugh. “Yeah. It’s just junk. Random thoughts and ideas I tried to put together. I like to write it in notebooks before getting it on the computer. You can toss it.”

I ignored him, flipping slowly through the pages. Random phrases, circled words, and rough doodles made it a fascinating foray into Noah’s mind. “This is cool, Noah. There’s good stuff here.”

“Doubt it.”

I took my time while he adjusted some equipment and spoke to Dusty through the headphones. My gaze caught on a chorus/stanza that jumped out at me.

You walk in like a secret, sunlight in your stride

A flash of your crooked smile, and I’m already blind

Pink star diamonds, but they don't shine like you

Crown jewels couldn’t carry what your silence can undo

Something stilled inside me as I read the words again.

Emotion tangled and lodged into a knot I wasn’t sure I could unravel.

I kept reading and marveled at the snippets of poetry that didn’t seem cheesy or weird like it did when I was forced to take it in college.

My gaze devoured the endless words with a hunger I didn’t recognize.

The closest I ever got to the feeling was reading a perfect script I longed to be a part of.

I wanted to wrap myself into these words and pull them apart; examine them; put them back together.

“Elle? Don’t worry, you won’t hurt my feelings. I just like to carry them around. I think it helps me break through the block by putting down my random thoughts.”

His cheeks reddened. I shook my head hard.

“No, I love these. They’re not random. If you read through, everything connects in some strange high-level way.

” Excited, I opened to a page and pointed out a few octaves written over and over.

“If we take this line, and wrap it with this one here,” I flipped back to the original page and tried to put them together, “it could be killer. We should try to group some of the themes and play with what sticks out the most.”

A tiny frown creased his brow. “You actually like it?”

I shook my head with a laugh. “Noah! It’s fantastic! Here, let me show you what may work.”

I snapped a picture of the open notebook with its mess and began transcribing some of the lines, moving them around and changing words.

My heart beat as if with each line I discovered more buried treasure.

I felt his presence behind me pressing down, but it was solid and soothing rather than intimidating.

“What about this?”

He leaned over me, and my lungs filled with his scent. “Yes. I see what you’re doing. Let’s lighten it up though, and what if we pulled in a big bold octave that shows off your voice?”

Noah sat at the keyboard and began playing. Punching some other buttons, he brought in another song that had a moody, angsty vibe. I began to sing some of the lyrics, but it didn’t fit. “No, it needs less to make it more.”

“Like this?” He changed the vibe, simplifying the music, changing the tune until it gave me that haunting feeling that matched the mood.

“Yes.” I began to sing, allowing my voice to stretch and experiment.

I got up and sat next to him at the keyboard, holding my reworked verses.

We worked on it for a while but kept going in circles trying to find the right balance of melody.

“Wait. Didn’t you tell me you were working on a rock ballad? ”

“Yeah, but that was for this song.” He grabbed his other notebook and flipped through pages. “Here.”

I read through the lyrics. “Play that music for me.”

His fingers danced over the keyboard, then mixed it with an edgier rock rhythm. I loved the overlap and excitement shot through me. “Use that music for this.”

“You think so?”

I smiled, sensing something about to happen. “Try it.”

He did, and I began to sing. I used a deeper pitch, lessening the stretch and allowing myself to add vulnerability, like I was acting out a heartbreaking scene. Closing my eyes, I felt my way through the music, going on instinct.

Noah stopped playing and stared at me. “Okay, that was fucking genius.”

I laughed. “Florence and the Machine meets Lana del Ray.”

“Exactly.” Our gazes locked and I felt as if I was connected to something in his soul, something I never even realized I could see. “I’m going to bring in some bass. Can you pause longer on this line? Hold back more until we get here.”

“Got it.”

We worked for the next few hours as if in a funnel, unaware of anything but each other, the words, and the music.

It was as if I was dropped into an alternate place where everything was slower.

Truer. Noah seemed to anticipate every turn of the music, guiding my voice to where he wanted to wring out the most from the song.

Dusty had left a while ago, leaving us alone.

“One last run through from start to finish,” he urged.

“Then will you feed me?”

“Yes, my treat. I’m going to echo on the rewind chorus. And let’s finish it with this melody. Stretch into a long beat of silence. Then I want you to take a deep breath and sigh it out over the mic.”

I nodded. He began the intro, and this time I waited a few beats longer before I jumped in.

Your chipped front tooth, the way you laughed too loud

A flaw like that could bring me to the ground

I traced your name in breath across a frosted glass

Every kiss a keepsake I was never meant to have

You were rare and you were beautiful

Sunset’s blaze before the night

But I’m burning in the after

Of your disappearing light

You were everything untouchable

A shadow I can’t fight

Now I’m lost inside the silence

Where your heartbeat used to write

You were rare and you were beautiful

Shooting stars and Northern Lights

But I’m fading under shadows

Of your never-said goodbyes

You were everything untouchable

Flame lilies in the fire

Now I’m standing in the wreckage

Of a love I can’t rewind..rewind…rewind

I let my voice fade to nothing. Then bringing in all of those raw emotions ready to be tapped, I sighed my breath out like an aching wish.

The music trailed off. Silence wrapped up the studio room, but it pulsed with the creation of something special that had come from nothing.

“That was it, Elle. That’s our song.”

His deep voice spilled through all the empty spaces inside.

I blinked, held in a trance as we quietly recognized the song had bonded us together in a way no one else would understand.

Goose bumps peppered my skin. I longed for a way to release all the want shaking through me, but I knew it was wrong.

I knew it was a creative high. It happened regularly to actors working closely together.

I wasn’t surprised I suddenly wanted to close the distance between us and kiss Noah.

Indulge in my fantasies and pretend it didn’t matter, because we weren’t in the real world.

I envisioned allowing him to spread me out on the piano while he filled me up, his mouth on mine, his eyes devouring me alive like he did as we created this song; this song that changed everything.

My body shook with need and I reached deep for strength, reminding myself I loved Coop and Noah loved Daisy; reminding myself this would pass, like a fevered dream.

He let out a shuddering breath. Rubbed his scalp. I sensed all I had to do was say his name and any type of sanity would shred into pieces and we’d be climbing over each other to assuage the burning need.

I swallowed. “What do we call it?”

He gave a slow half smile, but it was full of pain rather than humor. My fingers clenched to keep from reaching out to stroke his cheek, press them against his mouth to see if it was as soft as I imagined.

“The Rarest Thing.”

It was too much. My heart couldn’t take it. I gave a half sob and stepped back. “Yes. It’s perfect.” I turned my back on him and stumbled away. “Can I get a raincheck on that meal? I forgot I’m supposed to meet Coop.”

“Sure. I should get home, too. Daisy said she’d come by.”

I was almost out of the studio when I heard his haunting voice stroke my ears. “Meet again tomorrow?”

It was the moment I’d look back on. The moment where my path could change; where I still had control to stop this unnamed thing between us and slow things down.

I forced myself to tell him I needed more time, time to shore up my defenses because when we created music together, I was helpless to fight the attraction.

There’d been enough chaos with our group.

We didn’t need any more to break the fragile bonds left between us all.

I knew all of this. Maybe I even sensed what would happen.

“Yes. Tomorrow.”

Then I left.