Page 21

TWENTY-ONE

SAVANNAH

I DIDN’T MEAN to fall asleep. I intended to stay up and wait for Zeke to get back so we could talk about my little…

Mishap.

Yep, that’s exactly what it was. A mishap.

I was caught up in the emotion of the moment and had a lapse in judgment. An accidental slip.

One that freaked Zeke all the way out even though he might have also had a little mishap based on the way I ended up pressed against the railing. And thank goodness I did. If that hadn’t been holding me up, I might have melted into a puddle of lusty goo all over the balcony.

But then Zeke ran like the wind, leaving me behind. So I unpacked, took a shower, and laid down, ready to wait him out.

And then, in spite of the nap I took on the way here, I passed out cold, sleeping hard on the luxurious mattress beneath me.

Right up until a strange noise woke me up.

I hold my breath, thinking maybe I didn’t mess up my plan after all and Zeke is just now getting back from his panicked escape.

But no, I can make out the outline of his big body in the bed next to mine. When he shifts—the movement almost violent—I jerk upright, worried something’s going on and I’m still too naive to know we’re about to be attacked.

But then Zeke goes still again, the tempo of his steady breathing making it seem like he’s still asleep.

Shocking since the sound of my racing heart should be more than loud enough to wake the dead. I press a palm to the middle of my chest, hoping to calm it. Everything is fine. Zeke is here. I’m safe. He will never let anything happen to me?—

A soft noise stops my speeding heart right in its tracks. I recognize that sound. I’ve made it. Many times. Alone at night in my bed when the nightmares take hold of my sleeping mind. But this one doesn’t wake Zeke the way mine wake me, and the next sound he makes is even more awful. Filled with pain and suffering.

And it compels me headlong into another… Mishap.

Because all those times I woke up terrified, traumatized, and alone, there was one thing I wished I could have more than anything: Someone who made it better to hold me and tell me it would all be okay.

So I slip from my bed, cross the few feet separating us, and crawl in beside Zeke, curving my body against the back of his. I hook one arm around his waist and squeeze tight, closing my eyes as tears prick the corners.

Because now I know why he’s in the gym at midnight. Why he’s up and working at five thirty. And I hate it. I hate that he’s been so alone for so long, facing his worst nightmare every time he falls asleep, with no one to help him the way he helps everyone else.

I’m barely in place a second before Zeke goes stiff, his large frame going still.

“Savannah?” His hand latches onto my arm where it’s laced around his body. “What’s wrong?”

Normally I would love how his first concern is for me. Not tonight. Tonight I know that while his first thought is someone else’s well being, no one worries over him. No one takes care of him. Supports him.

Makes him feel safe.

Fuck that.

“You were having a nightmare.” I keep my voice soft, but not the hold I have on him. I might not be capable of killing people or hunting down bad guys, but that doesn’t mean I can’t protect him from some things. “Go back to sleep.”

“Savannah, I?—”

“Stop.” I say it louder than I mean to, but maybe that’s not a bad thing, because it seems to surprise him, sending Zeke twisting my direction, like he thinks he can talk me out of comforting him.

He can’t.

I swallow hard, because now we’re face-to-face again and I don’t have faith in my decision-making skills when he’s so close like this. “It’s my turn to take care of you.” I reach up to trace the lines of his face, letting my touch brush across his skin. “I want to help you the way you help me.” I take a shaky breath before admitting the full truth. “And I like being close to you.” Another shaky breath. “I like touching you.” My hand moves over his heated skin, following a path down his neck, tracing the edge of the small bandage on his shoulder, before coming to rest on his bare chest. “Can I touch you?”

Zeke’s hard stare bores into me as the seconds tick past. Finally, his chin tucks in the smallest of nods, granting me the permission I desperately desire.

I don’t hesitate—not with him. The old insecurities I had with men before don’t apply to Zeke. I don’t feel awkward or uncertain. Hesitant or shy. He really has made me brave.

And he might be kicking himself for it now.

The first area I want to explore is the slightly textured hair on his chest. I’m fascinated by it. It’s just so… male. I’ve accidentally imagined how it might feel against my bare skin, and the possibility I might actually find out has my nipples pulling tight and a dull throb pulsing between my thighs.

Desire. It’s something I never thought I’d feel again. I didn’t experience it for a year. Not a single time since my abduction have I felt the need—the urge—for release. Right up until I accidentally ran my hands over Zeke’s body that day in the med wing.

Since then I’ve worked hard to keep it in check. To tamp it down. To pretend I don’t think of him in ways I shouldn’t.

I can’t pretend now though. Not with him so close. The scent I crave surrounding me. The warmth of his big body sinking into my skin. His heated gaze only on me as I continue my exploration.

And my admissions.

“That day in the med bay, after you were shot, I ran away because I was scared of how much I liked touching you.” My eyes follow my hand as it moves over the barely raised ridges of his ribs. “I hadn’t wanted to touch anyone in so long.” A small smile curves my lips. “It would make sense you would be the one to change that.”

“Why does that make sense?” Zeke’s question is a low growl, and the sound shoots straight to my clit, reminding me she’s tired of being ignored.

I press my thighs together, trying to smother out the need building. “Because you are the only person who makes me feel safe enough to have those feelings.” I lift my eyes to his, pulling in a sharp breath at the desire I see reflected back at me in their shadowy depths. “You’re the only person I trust enough to let them touch me back.” The flame that’s been quietly burning since that day in the med bay flares, blazing across my skin and low in my belly. “Would you touch me back?”

Again, Zeke stares at me long and hard, before finally saying, “I shouldn’t.”

The answer isn’t unexpected, and that’s why my next words are ready. “I didn’t ask if you should.” My hand glides lower, moving over the hard plane of his belly and getting dangerously close to the waistband of his pants. I want him to see I’m not afraid. That I know what I’m doing and I’m doing it with intent. “I asked if you would.”

The tips of my fingers barely brush against the gathered flannel below his belly button before one big hand circles my wrist, stopping my trajectory. His hold is firm and careful as his eyes move over my face, breaths ragged as they fan across my skin.

Then the room shifts and I’m on my back, pinned under six and a half feet of deadly mercenary as Zeke’s mouth seals over mine. His kiss is possessive and consuming. Hard and demanding. It’s like the levy holding him back broke and now all I can do is hold on, knowing he won’t let me drown.

His lips drag from mine, burning a path along my jaw. Not leaving my skin as he demands, “Tell me to stop, Savannah.”

I shake my head, fighting for breath as every nerve ending in my body comes alive. “No.” This whole hotel could collapse around us and I still wouldn’t tell him to stop. “Please don’t stop.” The possibility is unimaginable. “I need…”

A low growl rumbles through his chest as one hand laces through my hair, cradling the back of my head before pulling tight. “What do you need?”

I don’t even know what I need. But I do know what I want. “Whatever you’ll give me.”

Zeke swears under his breath, then his mouth is back on mine, his taste and scent overwhelming my senses nearly as much as his touch as his free hand clamps down on my hip. His long fingers sink into the small amount of cushion I’ve managed to regain over the past year, gripping tight as his forehead drops to mine. “I’d give you everything,” he pants, words choppy between ragged breaths.

I meet his gaze, hoping he can see how sure I am when I say, “Then that’s what I need.”

Zeke’s nostrils flare, his grip on my hip tightening as he almost seems to glare at me. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

I study him for a second, taking in the hard lines and angles of his face. “I do.” My chest squeezes as I reach up to rest my palm against his cheek. “But at some point you have to trust me too.”

I know losing Kendra the way he did is one of the big stumbling blocks in his way. He sees her reflection in the faces of all the women he helps, including mine. It brings along old fears and festering guilt.

And there’s no place for either of those between us.

I give him a soft smile as my fingers curl against the neatly cropped hair along his jaw. “Do you trust me?”

Zeke’s jaw clenches. “You aren’t the one I don’t trust.”

My belly flutters over how far he’s willing to go to keep me safe. Even from himself. “Then I guess it’s good I trust you enough for both of us.”

This could go either way. He could banish me back to my own bed and keep pretending there’s nothing between us, or?—

I suck in a breath as his mouth comes to mine again, the heavy weight of his hard body pressing against me. I’m aching for friction, so I wiggle beneath him until his hips settle between my thighs. Zeke swallows down the gasp I let out when the hard line of his cock meets my newly reawakened pussy. The contact feels so good?—even through the layers of his pajamas and mine—that I hook my legs at his waist, trying to pull him in so I can get more of it.

Zeke groans into my mouth as he rocks against me, dragging his length exactly where I want it. I grab at him as he shifts, worried he’s pulling away.

His lips leave mine, but don’t go far. “Relax. I’m right here.” Zeke nips my ear as he rocks against me again, the move making me whimper as my pussy clenches around nothing. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I relax a little at that, my body going soft and pliant as he continues to thrust against me, mimicking an act I hope to be participating in very soon. The next time he moves, I move with him, increasing the pressure and contact and making us both moan.

Zeke’s forehead meets mine, his eyes closing tight. His hand flexes against my hip, urging me on. “Just like that, sweetheart. Show me what feels good.”

It’s not difficult to accomplish because everything feels good. So good my thighs are clenching at his hips and I’m so wet my panties are soaked and clinging to my skin. “Don’t stop.” A coil of pressure tightens low in my belly, making it hard to breathe around the anticipation of release. “Please don’t stop.”

Zeke shakes his head, eyes still fused to mine. “Never.” His hand leaves my hip to hook behind my knee, opening my legs wider and bringing more of him against more of me.

The added contact is enough to send me spiraling over the edge, ears ringing, vision blurring as I come undone under the only man in this whole world I would feel safe enough to let go with.

Zeke’s body goes rigid against me and for a second I worry something happened. That he strained his injured shoulder. Maybe already found some guilt or regret to dig back up.

But then he groans, the sound low and deep. It might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’m already making plans to hear it again when Zeke brushes a gentle kiss across my lips. “I’ll be right back,” he says before unraveling himself from my hold and sliding off the edge of the bed. After collecting a fresh pair of pajama pants, he disappears into the bathroom.

I’m still sprawled across the mattress, half dazed, when he comes back, climbs under the covers, and pulls me close. After tucking my back to his front, he nuzzles my neck and says, “You made me ruin my pants.”

I smile into the shadows, pride and excitement making my chest warm as I reply, “I guess you’ll have to take them off next time.”