Page 12

TWELVE

ZEKE

SAVANNAH IS ALL smiles as she picks her way through the snow. This morning she’s wearing a dress, thick tights, and somewhat winter-worthy boots beneath her heavy coat. I still don’t trust the traction of her footwear, so I meet her at the gate, offering my arm as she slips out.

There’s no hesitation when she reaches for me, holding on tight as I lead her to where my Jeep is idling at the curb.

“Thank you again for doing this.” She looks up from the ground long enough to give me a smile. “I really appreciate it.”

“I should actually be thanking you. Pierce and Mona are still fighting over my trip to Nashville, and every time they see me, one of them tries to drag me into the middle of it.” I use my free hand to open the passenger door, stepping back to give Savannah room to climb in.

She wrinkles her nose in a grimace. “Well, if you ever need to get away, I have plenty of furniture stacked in my garage that needs to be moved upstairs.”

My hand rests on the door as I stop midway through closing it. “Why is it in your garage? I thought the movers delivered it to you.” They should have put everything where she wanted it. For the amount of money Pierce paid, they probably should have unpacked it too.

Savannah blows out a loud sigh. “They would have carried it all upstairs, but I wanted to go through it and decide what to keep and what to get rid of.” Her dark brows pinch together. “I just feel like maybe I want a fresh start, you know?”

I offer a single nod. “I do know.”

A fresh start is what brought me to Alaska. What made me leave the military and put the skills I’d learned there to a different sort of use.

But change is hard, and fresh starts aren’t always new beginnings. Sometimes, no matter how much distance you put between yourself and everything you want to leave behind, it’s still right there every time you turn around.

I tip my head toward the floorboard. “Watch your feet.”

She tucks them safely inside and I close the door, pulling in a lungful of cold air as I round the front of the SUV.

I feel a little more settled—and a little less haunted—by the time I’m getting in beside her, shifting into drive, and pulling away. “Do you have a place in mind?” I don’t know how much research Savannah has done. Don’t know if she’s looked into her options or vetted dealerships.

“I actually don’t even know where to start.” She deflates a little, the brightness she greeted me with dimming slightly. “I know I probably need four-wheel-drive, but beyond that, I have no idea what would be the best option.”

I’m not surprised she’s overwhelmed. I expected it actually, which is why I did do research. Why I looked into her options, and vetted dealerships. “Well, we can go look around. Check out a few different places and see what they have on the lot.” I lead with what I think is the least desirable option. “Or, we can go look through everything in the garage at headquarters. You can see if any of them appeal to you, and then borrow one for a week or so to see how you like it.”

Savannah’s head snaps my direction and she sits up straighter. “I could really do that?”

“Of course you can do that.” I flip on my turn signal because it’s obvious which game plan she’s going to pick. “If Elise is allowed to drive the company cars, then you’re sure as hell allowed to drive them.”

Savannah’s lips press together, unsuccessfully smothering out a smile. “Pierce probably hired her for the wrong position. If she was a getaway driver, you guys would never get caught.”

“If she was a getaway driver, we’d have five guys out on medical leave from heart attacks at all times.” I struggle to contain a smile of my own. “It’s not just Elise, though. All the Ohio girls drive like complete lunatics.”

Savannah leans my way, voice hushed when she says, “Really?”

I don’t usually talk shit about the people I work with, but part of that is because I don’t have anyone to talk shit with. Sure, I’d risk my life for the men and women around me, but to have a conversation with them?

Not interested.

Savannah’s different though. I’m here to help her, and that includes being someone she can discuss anything with.

“The first time Rico was in a car with Lennie behind the wheel, he says he saw his life flash before his eyes.” At the time, I thought he was exaggerating. Then I saw Elise drive up on a curb without batting an eye. Like it happened all the time.

Because it fucking did.

Savannah’s eyes roll to the ceiling as her head drops back. “Yes. It’s like she doesn’t even notice.” Her gaze comes back to me. “How does she even keep her tires aligned?”

“She doesn’t.” I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen the man who maintains Alaskan Security’s fleet under Elise’s car, doing damage control.

“I guess if she can drive in this weather, then I can drive in it.” Savannah pulls in a deep breath. “It’s not like I’ve never done it before.” Her eyes drift to the frozen landscape outside. “The snow here is just so… Everywhere.”

“It does take some getting used to.” I never expected to end up in Alaska, but over the years it’s started to grow on me. For the most part. “But it’s beautiful.”

Savannah’s smile is soft as she looks out over the white tipped mountains in the distance. “It really is.” Her smile slips and her eyes drop to her lap. “Sadie and Jamison are going to Florida.”

I’m quiet for a second as the new information sinks in. “I’m sure Florida is nice this time of year.”

Savannah’s brows lift and she starts to laugh. “You sound just as excited as I did when she told me I was coming with them.”

I notice I’m gripping the steering wheel a little too hard and force my fingers to relax. “I assumed you would.”

Savannah snorts. “So did she.” Her sigh is long and loud. “And six months ago, I probably would have.”

“Not now?”

She shakes her head. “No. Not now.” Her words are soft. “I want to feel like I have a home again, and I can’t do that if I’m leaving all the time.” Her brows pinch together. “I just wish Alaska felt a little more like home to me.” Savannah lets her head fall back against the rest. “I keep moving stuff around thinking if I can just find the right spot for everything, my condo will finally be what I want it to be.”

“You’re doing better than I am.” I haven’t been inside Savannah’s place, but she’s told me enough about it I can make some assumptions. “At least you have furniture.”

A sharp laugh flies through her lips. “There is that.” Her expression falls a little. “To be fair, you spend way less time in your place than I’ve spent in mine.”

“You need to give yourself some grace.” The more I get to know Savannah, the more I’m starting to see how hard she is on herself. “Don’t feel bad for doing what you had to do to survive.”

Any trace of her earlier humor disappears in a flash. “That’s easier said than done.”

“I know.” Without thinking, I reach across the car and take her hand. The need to comfort her—to offer support—overwhelms my better sense. It’s not until her soft palm tucks against mine that my brain registers how inappropriate the gesture is.

But before I can pull back, Savannah latches on to me, her fingers lacing between mine and gripping tight. Like I’m her fucking lifeline.

Like I genuinely provide what she needs.

Her other hand layers onto mine, sandwiching it between her soft skin. Taking a deep breath, her eyes slip closed as she says, “Is it still rape if I pretended to like it?”

The bubble of rage simmers to life in my gut. I’ve carried it for years. Most days I keep it under wraps, but there are times, like now, that I can’t. “He fucking abducted you, Savannah. Threatened to kill you.” I know how I sound—like the man I work so hard to keep from her. But I can’t stop it. Can’t hold him back. “Nothing that happened to you was consensual in any capacity.” I stop at a light, my foot hitting the break harder than it should as I turn to face her. “You aren’t responsible for a single fucking thing that happened to you.”

Savannah’s eyes widen, like I’ve scared her. They dip to my treacherous mouth, lingering for a second before coming back to mine. “Oh.” She doesn’t pull her hand from mine, probably only because she’s too stunned to move.

I work hard not to let the women I help see what I can be. What my own past shaped me into.

The anger I still carry because of it.

I turn back to the road, unable to make myself look at the shock on her face any longer. “I should probably take you home.”

“What?” Savannah scoffs. “Why?”

I open my mouth, but I can’t make the words I want to say come out. Instead, I spill my fucking guts all over. “Because I can’t keep my shit together sometimes, and today is obviously one of those times.”

Savannah is quiet for a minute. Long enough the light turns green and I have to continue our drive. When she finally speaks, her words are soft. “I can be a safe place for you too, you know.”

My head whips her way.

The soft stroke of her fingers against my skin steals my attention as Savannah smooths across the back of my hand. “It’s okay to be angry or sad or frustrated around me.” She swallows, her throat working as her gaze once again dips to my mouth before coming back. “This isn’t a one-sided thing, Zeke.” Her lips lift at the edges. “At least I hope it’s not.”