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Now things were changing, and while for Jake this might just be about trying to apologize for the actions of people he had no control over, for her she was afraid this would take these fledgling little feelings and make them into something more.

Something too big for her to come back from.

“Come on, what harm could it do to try?” Jake asked and she wondered why he was being so persistent. This wasn't like her Jake at all. Did he not get that doing this would change things between them?

Nibbling on her fish, Alannah tried to choose her words carefully.

She appreciated that he was trying to make things up to her even if she didn't think he needed to, but she wasn't prepared to lose Jake from her life. Besides, she’d lived all the way to thirty-two without an orgasm, she was pretty sure she could live out the remainder of her years never getting what the hype was about.

“I can't come, Jake,” she told him. “Can't. As in there’s something wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he growled, making her smile despite the nerves dancing in her stomach.

“I think there is.”

“Then that’s your problem. You need to stop seeing yourself as broken, unlovable. Damn your parents for doing this to you,” he snarled.

“My parents?” Honestly, she’d never thought about it that way before. They did make her feel unlovable, and because of them and their inability to love her she had been left feeling broken.

Was it possible they were the reason she couldn’t orgasm?

That their neglect had put some sort of block in her mind that she hadn't been able to find her way around?

A tiny ray of hope shone down upon her, maybe she wasn't broken after all. But that ray was quickly snuffed out. Even if it was her parents’ neglect that had caused her problem, she’d still tried to come on her own and with partners and nothing had ever worked.

Maybe her parents were the cause but that didn't mean the damage they had done could be undone.

“Give me a chance, sunshine. Let me prove to you that you aren't broken, you're beautiful and bright and everything good in the world.”

“You really want to do this?”

“Absolutely.”

“Why?”

“Because you're my sunshine and I won't have anything dimming your light.”

“But what if it …”

“What if it what?”

“What if it changes things between us?” she asked, unable to meet Jake’s gaze. He was being so sweet, so tender, so soft for what she as used to with her grumpypants, but how could he not see that this would change everything, good intentions or not?

“It can't change anything if we don’t let it,” Jake replied confidently.

“You really think it’s that simple?”

“I don’t want to lose our friendship, do you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then, yeah, I think it’s that simple.”

Could it be?

Could they try this and then just go back to the way things were before?

Would she even want that?

Regardless of whether Jake could make her orgasm, her feelings had shifted and although she’d been refusing to think too much about it, she was starting to think that she wanted more from him than simply friendship.

What if she let him do this and it proved to her that she did want more, would she be able to be satisfied with all Jake was willing to give her?

Or was she overthinking this entire thing?

“Trust me, sunshine,” Jake said as he shifted closer. “Let me do this for you. Believe that I can.”

Simple.

Make it simple.

The words whispered through her mind and she clung to them. Her parents had already taken so much from her, left behind so much damage, did she really want to hand over this piece of herself to them and not even fight for it?

No.

The answer to that was no.

Like a spell had been cast over her, Alannah moved a little away from the fire so she could stretch out on her back. When Jake knelt between her legs, nudging them apart, for a second, she almost panicked and backed out.

Even though she wanted to trust Jake, the fear of doing this and losing him was so strong.

There was no way she could live without him being part of her life.

When Jake leaned over and touched a kiss to her forehead, she melted under his tender ministration.

She wanted more kisses like that only not on her forehead but on her lips.

Wanted to know how Jake kissed, was it all practical and methodical like he did everything else or was there passion burning under his tight control?

“Just relax, sunshine,” Jake said as he moved down her body.

That was easier said than done when his large hands caught the waistband of her leggings and panties and tugged them down her legs.

The second cool air brushed against her bare skin, Alannah realized how stupid this was.

Jake could see her.

All of her.

And he was staring at her core with an almost mesmerized expression on his face, and she felt herself grow wet. How could she not when a man was looking at her like he wanted to devour her?

“You're going to come on my fingers and my face, sunshine.” Jake said it with such authority that she believed it to be true.

Never in her life had she seen a more erotic sight than that of Jake’s dark head as it settled between her spread legs.

“Keep your eyes on me, sunshine,” Jake ordered as he brushed the pad of one calloused finger along her center. “See this?” He held up the finger, which shimmered in the light of the fire with the evidence of her arousal. “This is proof you aren't broken. Hear me?”

She nodded without realizing it.

Jake didn't make her feel broken. He made her feel beautiful and desirable.

When his mouth closed around her aching bud and he sucked hard, her hips came flying off the ground, making him chuckle. The sound reverberated around her bundle of nerves, making her whimper as sensations assaulted her.

While he suckled and flicked at her bud with his tongue, the tip of a finger teased her entrance. Needing more than what he was giving her, Alannah tried to shift to take his finger deeper, and Jake chuckled again, pressing his free hand down on her stomach to hold her in place.

“Stay still for me, sunshine,” he ordered, then his mouth was back on her, licking, sucking, and driving her wild.

Bit by bit, he slid a finger inside her, then lazily pumped it in and out. A second finger joined it, stretching her deliciously, and by the time a third was added, she was whimpering, thrashing, and pleading, begging for everything he had to give her.

Hooking his fingers so they grazed the spot inside her that she had been utterly convinced did not in fact exist, Alannah felt something brewing inside her. Much like the storms that had ravaged them in the ocean and last night in the shelter, it grew into something all-consuming.

No longer could she think, all she could do was feel.

Pressure built low in her belly as Jake continued to lavish attention on her willing and receptive body, then as it began to send out tendrils of pleasure to the rest of her, it just fizzled out and died.

Tears of frustration replaced her moans of delight, and her body went completely still. Jake had tried his best, but just like she’d told him, something was wrong with her.

She’d wanted to come.

So badly.

But she couldn’t.

Because she was broken.