Page 17

Chapter

Nine

“The colors are spectacular, aren't they?” Alannah asked in a dreamy voice as she sat beside him on the deck of her boat.

There was no denying that the colors of the sun setting into the darkening blue of the water were beautiful, but it wasn't what kept capturing his attention.

What kept capturing Jake’s attention was the stunning woman snuggled beside him.

Although they’d sunbathed earlier, soaking up the warmth of the sun’s rays as they lay stretched out on the smooth wooden deck, as the day wore on and afternoon began to turn to evening, the temperature had started to drop.

Jake had held on as long as possible, wanting to keep Alannah right where she was because he couldn’t get enough of the sight of her in that sexy red bikini, but eventually, they’d both gotten too cold.

Since she’d made snacks and lunch, he volunteered for cooking dinner duty and brought her up a sweater before heading into the little galley kitchen.

His cooking skills were nowhere near as good as hers, but he wasn't helpless in the kitchen, and he whipped them up a decent meal of cheesy pasta and steamed vegetables on the side.

They’d eaten side by side up on the deck because Alannah loved being out there with the wind ruffling the strands of hair that kept falling loose from her ponytail, and the wide expanse of ocean spread out around them.

He was a sucker for anything that made her happy, especially given she was only out there hiding from people who wanted to hurt her because of him, so it was no hardship to settle down up there for the evening.

When the temperature dropped more, Alannah produced a soft fleece blanket and asked him to move to sit beside her so she could tuck them both in.

Apparently, he was a masochist because he agreed even though it was torture to have her toned body pressed against his side.

But it made her happy, so that was where they were sitting, watching the sun sink lower into the horizon, looking like a huge golden ball was slowly being consumed by the ocean.

The colors were beautiful, the sky painted a mixture of golds, reds, pinks, and oranges, and the sunset brought out the golden highlights of Alannah’s hair as well as making her golden-brown eyes look like two orbs of pure gold, but again it was the woman beside him that stole the show, not nature.

“Jake?”

“Hmm?”

“I said, aren't the colors spectacular?”

“They’re very pretty,” he agreed, although he’d spent far more time trying to sneak surreptitious glances Alannah’s way.

“Is there anything better than watching the sunset alone out on the ocean?” There was such wonder on her face as she couldn’t take her eyes off the sunset, and the peacefulness in her tone soothed his guilt and frustration from the last few days that he’d brought her into this mess and didn't know how to get her out of it.

When watching the sunset out on the ocean was sitting with his best friend at his side instead of alone, then he could absolutely agree with her assessment.

“Well, I guess there is something better, or at least the same. The sunrise.” Her accompanying giggle did something to him, loosened something inside him, softened the edges of his hard heart.

Hardening his heart as a child hadn't been a choice, it was born out of necessity, a will to survive.

Losing his mom at six years old had been rough.

Learning his dad wasn't going to leave the military so he could be home more to raise him and Jax had been harder.

Then knowing how unwanted he was by relatives, what a burden they considered him and his brother, was the hardest of all.

Family was supposed to be there for you no matter what, support you, love you, and care for you. Instead, his family hadn't wanted to step up after his mom’s death, and to make it worse, they hadn't cared about letting the two small motherless boys know it.

While it had been as much a shock to him and Jax as it had been to the Charleston brothers when their parents married, to them it wasn't a bad one. He’d kind of liked the idea of having a new mom even though he was fourteen and beginning to think of himself as a man.

The hatred Cade, Cooper, Connor, and Cole had spewed at him and Jax those six months had been just another blow.

Even as a teenager, he’d understood it wasn't them specifically.

They were grieving, and now their mom had remarried and added a stepfather and two stepbrothers to their family without giving them time to breathe and process their loss.

After their parents were arrested and they found the sofa bed in the master bedroom they’d all understood, young as they were, that the marriage was a sham.

Nothing could have prepared them for what they’d learned over the last several months, though, and he was glad that in the aftermath of their parents’ deaths, they’d pulled together and not apart.

He needed his family.

They grounded him, gave him a purpose and a place to belong, and they made him feel loved and wanted.

But they didn't soften the heart he’d long ago learned to harden against the harshness of the world.

Alannah did, though.

She was all softness and light, and even though he was always telling her not to be so trusting because he didn't like seeing her get hurt when people took advantage of her, he didn't really want her to change.

He needed his sunshine, his world needed her light.

“We can watch the sunrise and the sunset every day,” he assured her. He was used to getting up early so it would be no hardship to make sure he was up before dawn and had breakfast ready to go so they could sit up there and eat and watch the sunrise.

The smile she gifted him was everything. It was like pouring water into the mouth of a dehydrated person. It didn't just make him feel better, it revitalized the parts of him that had been dying and brought them back to life.

Which was exactly what it felt like Alannah was doing.

While he knew lots of people had a worse life than he’d had, with a tougher childhood, more trauma, and less of a support system, his life had been hard, and because of that he’d become hard.

When he was around Alannah he wanted to change.

One thing he knew about his best friend was that she wasn't looking for a man who was hard, gruff, and struggled to trust and let people in. She wanted, perhaps even needed, softness to echo her own.

That was something he could never give her.

As her best friend, it had always been his job to protect her, something he wished he’d done a better job at. She never seemed to mind his harsh edges, always laughing and affectionately calling him grumpy, but deep down, she had to know that he could never offer her anything more.

Was that enough?

It wasn't something he could put a finger on exactly, but things between him and Alannah were changing. As much as he didn't want them to, he couldn’t deny it. Jake was happy with things remaining as they’d always been, the last thing he wanted was to do anything that would jeopardize keeping his sunshine in his life.

What Alannah needed was never going to be something he could give her, and above all else, he wanted her to be happy.

Happiness wasn't something he necessarily saw as part of his future.

Not that he was unhappy now, it was just that he had too much going on to think much about it.

For so long, he and the rest of his family had been entirely focused on answers.

Now those answers were almost within their grasp, and he didn't know what his future looked like when he wasn't spending every spare second looking for the truth about what happened to his dad and stepmom.

“Jake?”

“Yeah, sunshine?”

“You look like you're thinking really hard. Is something wrong?”

That right there was exactly why he cared about this woman so much.

She could read him like a book, and she cared.

Even when she was scared and being forced to run for her life because of him and his family’s quest for answers, she still cared about what was going on with him and would try to make it better if she could.

“I'm okay, sunshine.”

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” she asked, obviously seeing right through his lie.

“You're already doing it.”

At his words, she gifted him one of those beautiful bright smiles, and when she snuggled closer and rested her head on his shoulder, his heart swelled until it felt too big for his chest.

What was she doing to him?

Why were things changing?

And how did he stop it before he ruined things and lost the best thing he had in his life?

October 18 th

2:24 A.M.

“Mmm,” Alannah gave a content sigh as she rolled over in bed.

Half asleep, she almost expected to find Jake there just as he’d been in her dreams.

In her dreams, he hadn't just been lying in the bed beside her, he’d been kissing her, his large hands roaming her body, teasing her nipples and making them pebble at his ministrations.

Those hands of his had been dipping lower, trailing along her stomach.

Her body felt like it had been set alight, the good kind, the kind where every touch felt exemplified, every nerve ending extra sensitive.

She’d been so ready for more that when she rolled over, she absolutely expected Jake to be there.

Wanted him to be there.

Which was crazy and mixed up, and she didn't even know how to process it. All she knew was that when her hands found the cold sheets beside her, and she blinked open sleepy eyes to find the bed empty, she was disappointed.

With a sigh, she sat up and shoved off the covers. There was no point in just lying there, she’d woken herself up enough that she wasn't going to drift back off to sleep.

May as well go up on deck and check that everything was going smoothly. They’d set down their anchor at dinner time last night, and she hadn't intended to move again until after breakfast. They were on no schedule, had no plans of where they were going, and no set time they had to be back.