Page 59 of Control Freak

Emory nodded. “They’ve all gone through it in different ways. But they’re strong as hell, and they fight for each other. I can’t think of a bunch of guys I’d rather call family.”

Parker arrived at the table, putting an end to that discussion. He tugged out the chair and set down his plastic number.

“So, how are you liking Riverton?” he asked me.

“I haven’t been out much,” I admitted. “It seems pretty cute, but I’m a little restless. I was used to teaching five days a week.”

“Why don’t you apply here?” Emory asked.

“I’d have to get licensed for Nebraska,” I said, “and my old district couldn’t be a reference, so I don’t know if it would work out. Without them, I have a big hole on my resume.”

“It might not matter,” Parker said. “We’re hurting for teachers right now. We’ve been using substitutes to help fill the gaps.” He paused. “If you were interested, you wouldn’t need a license for that.”

“Really? Hmm. I love having my own class best. My students, you know, who I can see grow over the year. But I’m kind of at loose ends right now…”

“And you might have a better shot at a permanent gig once you get the license,” Parker said. “They’ll have less need of other references if you’ve already been subbing with us.”

Excitement sparked. Could I really get teaching back?

I’d happily give up the camming without the pressure of blackmail, but I’d have to talk to Holden and make sure he was really okay with me staying with him for at least a month or two, because substituting didn’t pay great. It’d take me longer to build up my savings.

But if I could eventually get full-time teaching back, it’d be more than worth it. Besides, I couldn’t go back to St. Louis, not safely, and I couldn’t go home to my family. They hadn’t wanted me when I was seventeen and suspended for fucking around inthe boys’ locker room, and they certainly wouldn’t want me now that I’d added camming and extortion to my list of troubles.

Ray called out Parker’s number first, since his order was up, and he stood. “Think about it, and if you want to do it, I’ll vouch for you.”

“Thanks, Parker. That’s so nice of you.”

“Don’t thank me until you survive lunch duty with a bunch of hyperactive, messy maniacs.”

I laughed. “Sounds very familiar. It’ll be just like coming home.”

“Please do,” Parker said, clutching his hands at chest level dramatically. “I’d get on my knees and beg, but people might get the wrong idea.”

Emory cackled. “Get out of here before I tell Simon on you!”

Parker grinned. “An overwhelmed teacher’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.”

Ray called his number again, a little more impatience leaking into his tone, and Parker jogged away.

Emory turned back to me. “So, what are you going to do?”

“With the teaching? I don’t know. With Holden? I’m gonna hold his fucking hand.”

Emory laughed, clearly delighted. “I’m glad you’ve got your priorities in order.”

“I might have left home because I needed a place to lay low, but Holden’s the reason I want to stay.”

It was the first time I’d put the feeling into words, but it was true. Holden and I had been camming and chatting for months. Even before we’d met, I’d counted him as a friend. We’d only been around each other in person for a week, but I already knew I wanted a lot more time with him.

Holden was special. One of a kind.

He deserved love, yes, but affection too. And if I could help him find it while rebuilding my teaching career, then maybe this could be more than a temporary fling.

Maybe I could build a real life here, with a great guy, and forget my ex Jimmie and his crew ever existed.

CHAPTER 15

Holden