Page 37 of Control Freak

CHAPTER 9

Holden

I stoodfrom my desk and stretched my back, ready for a break. The past two nights on an air mattress had been more restful than the sofa, but my body was less happy about the flimsy barrier between me and the floor. The damn thing kept leaking too, getting flatter and flatter toward morning.

You can join me in the bed anytime, Shiloh had said. I was sure he meant it too. Part of me wanted to take him up on it. He knew my boundaries, and he’d respect them. But something held me back.

Shiloh was my safe outlet for sexual frustration before, but now…he was dangerous to my self-preservation. With him here in person, I couldn’t go to him for sex without the realities of my trauma cock-blocking me, and joining him in the bed just seemed like taunting myself with everything I couldn’t have.

Axel’s voice rose in the auto shop, followed by laughter. I leaned out of my doorway. “You here for lunch?”

“Nah, I’m meeting Dalton over at the park. They’re having a company picnic.”

“Aw, you’re such a good little sheriff’s wifey,” Gray said.

Axel flipped him the bird. “I’m going so I can sucker some of them into fostering pets, that’s all.”

Axel had recently started up a pet rescue that was funded through a grant, but he didn’t fool me. He was happy with Dalton, and he no doubt came up with that excuse so that he could spend more time with him without looking like a sap.

He turned to me. “And before you ask, the new guy is over at the junkyard. He’s breaking down a totaled car that just came in.”

“I wasn’t going to ask.”

He gave me a skeptical look. Okay, Ididwonder. But I didn’t voice the question. That was progress, right?

“How’s it going with Flynn?” I asked instead.

“Flynn is great,” Axel said. “He’s easygoing. Does whatever I want.”

“Bit scary-looking,” Bailey added. “Dude looks like he could break me in half.”

“He probably could,” Axel said with a laugh. “He’s a good guy, though. I can tell.”

“He’s breaking down a car?” I mused. “Does he have experience with that?”

“No, but he’s a natural,” Axel said. “He told me that he used to work on his junkers to keep them going. Why? You’re not gonna poach him, are you?”

“Maybe…”

Matteo was doing his best, but he wasn’t half the mechanic Bailey was, and soon, my youngest brother would be off to college.

He groaned. “Holden, I just got used to having more help over there. We’re getting so much shit done.”

I raised my hands. “I’m not saying I definitely will.”

Axel rolled his eyes. “Well, whatever. I should get going. Don’t have too much fun without me.”

“What’s fun?” Bailey asked as Axel walked out. “I barely remember.”

“I’m going over to the house. I want to check in with Shiloh, and I’ll bring back some sandwiches. Is ham good with everyone?”

“Not as good as Zacos,” Bailey said.

“Ham, it is.”

Banshee greeted me at the door with happy doggy woofs, but there was no sign of Shiloh. I crossed the living room to the kitchen, but it was empty too.

“Hey, Shiloh, I’m going to make lunch,” I called. “Do you want any?”