Page 50 of Consummation (The Josh & Kat Trilogy #3)

Thirty-Two

Josh

The band onstage behind Jonas and me finishes playing a cover of Pharrell William’s “Happy” and the partygoers packed into Climb & Conquer’s flagship Seattle gym applaud uproariously.

“Welcome to our grand opening,” I say to the crowd, speaking into the microphone in my hand.

“I know you’re all chomping at the bit to keep climbing and conquering our rock walls for the first time ever today—so we’re gonna keep the talking to a minimum.

We just wanted to thank you all for coming out to the gym today to celebrate the birth of our baby. ”

Everyone claps and cheers.

“For those of you who don’t already know,” I continue, “I’m Josh Faraday and this is my brother, Jonas—and we’re the founders of Climb & Conquer.

” The band behind us breaks into a spontaneous riff of “For He’s the Jolly Good Fellow” and everyone laughs.

“Wow, could you guys follow me around wherever I go?” I say.

Everyone in the room chuckles.

“Although, if you’re gonna follow me around playing my own personal theme music, I think it’d have to be ‘The Joker.’”

The band instantly breaks into a few bars of that song, and everyone in the entire building, including me, bursts out laughing.

“Wow, you’re good,” I say, pointing at the bandleader, and she points back at me, a huge smile on her face.

I address the crowd again. “Jonas and I have worked hard to bring Climb & Conquer to life—but it’s really Jonas who first had the vision—so I’m gonna turn the microphone over to my brother and let him tell you what Climb & Conquer is all about. Jonas?”

Everyone applauds and I hand the microphone to my brother.

“Hi, everyone. Thanks, Josh.” Jonas flashes his most charming smile and begins telling the rapt audience about what climbing has meant to him personally during his life and how he’s always dreamed of sharing his passion with the world.

Wow. For a guy who despises public speaking as much as Jonas does, I’m duly impressed with how well Jonas is pulling this off—especially since, when we were planning our speeches for this event a few days ago, Jonas practically begged me to do all the speaking.

“How about I stand onstage next to you and nod while you talk?” he said.

“I’ll be the ‘something shiny’—remember that? ”

“Sorry, bro,” I told him, much to his obvious chagrin. “Your ‘something shiny’ days are officially over—you’re our frontman now, baby. And, anyway, C&C has been your dream from day one—you gotta be the one to explain it.”

He looked totally bummed.

“Plus, as a practical matter,” I continued, “a bunch of local news stations are gonna be covering the grand opening. If one of our faces is gonna be plastered all over the news talking about our company’s mission, it’s gotta be yours, Pretty Boy.”

Jonas groaned.

“Oh, just nut up, Jonas. It’s not my fault you’re the pretty one.”

“But that’s the thing, Josh,” Jonas replied. “You always say I’m the pretty one—that I’ve got the looks and you’ve got the personality—but in all seriousness—and believe me, I hate to stroke your ego about this—I truly think you’re better looking than I am.”

“Well, yeah, duh , I’m better looking than you are, numnuts—of course, I am,” I said. “It’s just that, for some reason, no one else seems to recognize that obvious fact.”

Jonas laughed.

“It is what it is, bro—embrace it. You’re the pretty one, which means you’ve got to do the pretty-brother-speech.” I patted him on his pretty cheek. “Just pretend everyone in the audience is naked. Isn’t that what they always say you should do for public speaking?”

“Yeah,” Jonas sighed, resigned to his fate.

“Except for Kat—don’t pretend Kat’s naked or I’ll have to punch you in your pretty face.”

“Isn’t Henn gonna be there?” Jonas asked.

“Good point.” I grimaced. “Don’t picture Henn naked, either, or you might give yourself an aneurysm. ”

“And Sarah’s mom? And Kat’s parents? Because I’d rather cut off my arm than imagine any of them naked,” Jonas said.

“Okay, fine. Shit,” I replied. “I wasn’t being literal. I was just saying don’t stress about the speech—you’ll be great.”

Jonas laughed. “Don’t worry—I’ll be fine. I’ll hate to do it, but I’ll manage it. I’ll just look at Sarah the whole time and I’ll be fine.”

The audience in front of me laughs at something Jonas is saying and my brain tunes back into the present moment.

“... . our initial twenty gyms in five states,” Jonas is saying into the microphone, “and we’re just getting started.”

My eyes scan the crowd and land on Kat’s gorgeous face—and then immediately drift down to the adorable baby bump that’s only recently popped out of her slender frame.

Damn, Kat’s hot as hell. I can’t get enough of that terrorist under normal circumstances, but nowadays, with her cute little belly and blossoming tits and raging pregnancy hormones, my Kat-addiction is now officially completely out of control.

If Kat were a drug, there’d be no choice but for my loved ones to stage an intervention.

“How’s our avocado today?” I asked Kat just this morning in our bed, running my hands over her naked belly, pressing my hard-on into her side, licking her nipple, inhaling her scent.

“Oh, no, babe,” she said, sighing with pleasure when my fingertips migrated south and began gently stroking her tip. “The kumquat was an avocado a couple weeks ago—the kumquat’s a freaking bell pepper now.”

“A bell pepper?” I said, running my fingertips lightly over her slick tip, coaxing her into delicious hardness. “Whoa, this kid’s unstoppable.”

Kat shuddered with pleasure and arched her back as my fingers began massaging her in earnest, and that was all the dangling carrot I needed to stop talking and get serious about pleasuring her.

With a loud growl, I opened her thighs, burrowed my head between them, and begin licking my hot little momma into a delicious frenzy.

“... and that’s why the Climb & Conquer brand embodies adventure, fitness, and, most of all, the pursuit of excellence,” Jonas is saying. “Each person’s individual but universal quest to find the ideal version of himself.”

I smile to myself. Jonas had originally planned to say “each person’s individual quest to find the divine original form of himself,” but I told him no fucking way.

“Mark my words, the news stations will run that one sound-bite out of context, and all anyone will remember is the word ‘divine,’” I said.

“And what’s wrong with that?” Jonas asked.

“Dude, they’ll think we’re some sort of religious cult, not a rock-climbing gym. It’s off-brand. Tell Plato he’s gotta stay the fuck away from my grand opening. He’s cramping my style.”

“Fine,” Jonas said begrudgingly. “I’ll kick Plato to the curb just this once and dumb it down, Josh Faraday style. Happy?”

“Yes. Happy as a clam,” I said.

“So what should I say if not ‘divine original’?”

“I dunno. What would Josh Faraday say? That ought to lead you to the right level of dumb.”

“... all about reaching higher than you ever thought you could reach—literally and metaphorically...” Jonas is saying—and I have to force myself not to roll my eyes at that last bit.

That’s Jonas’ idea of pretending he’s a dumbshit like me—saying our company’s all about reaching one’s highest peak ‘literally and metaphorically’?

It’s true, of course—that’s what we’re all about—but Josh Faraday would never say that particular phrase in a million fucking years.

“... and becoming better than you ever thought you could be,” Jonas says.

Everyone claps enthusiastically.

“And as part of our genuine commitment to extraordinary aspiration,” Jonas says, yet again making me want to roll my eyes at his word choice, “Climb & Conquer has identified certain designated charities we’ll be supporting with a portion of our proceeds.”

I look at Sarah in the crowd. She’s standing next to Kat and Henn and Hannah, staring up at her new husband like he’s a golden god.

Just as I’m about to look away from Sarah, she pushes a lock of dark hair away from her face and her rock sparkles at me all the way up onstage.

Shit. I hate seeing Sarah’s big-ass diamond—no offense to her.

As happy as I am for Mr. and Mrs. Jonas Faraday, that goddamned ring only serves to remind me how much I’m physically aching to slip a big-ass ring onto Kat’s finger, too.

The good news is that, last night, after watching Pride and Prejudice , the last of the movies on my “Kat’s all-time favorites” list, I finally figured out exactly how to propose to Kat.

Actually, the gist of my plan came to me weeks ago in Argentina while watching Pretty Woman —specifically, the scene where Julia Roberts goes into that ritzy store in Beverly Hills, all dressed up in her brand new clothes, and tells the bitchy store clerk she made a “huge” mistake the prior day by refusing to help her—but, last night, every last detail of my entire plan finally came together in my mind.

Everyone claps at something Jonas has said, so I clap, too, not wanting to look like I’m not listening (which I’m not).

“So, without further ado,” Jonas says, “let’s let the band play while you guys climb and conquer our rock walls and have a great time.”

Everyone claps and cheers.

I grab the microphone from Jonas. “Thanks for coming, everyone—Happy Birthday, Climb & Conquer!”

Everyone cheers again.

I motion to the band and they launch into a rousing rendition of “Shout” that has everyone instantly throwing up their hands and singing along.

Jonas and I stand for a moment, smiling together in front of a “Climb & Conquer Grand Opening!” banner as a photographer takes a hundred shots. When we finally make our way offstage, Sarah and Kat greet us, both of them sporting huge smiles.