Page 45 of Consummation (The Josh & Kat Trilogy #3)

Twenty-Nine

Josh

“Looks really good,” Jonas says, looking at the spreadsheet displayed on my laptop screen.

“I’d like to get our costs down by two percent over the course of the first year, ideally—especially as we start funding our designated charities—but as initial operating costs, I think these numbers crunch pretty well. ”

Sarah and Kat burst into a collective sob in the other room and Jonas and I exchange a smile.

Just over an hour ago, the girls went into one of the bedrooms of our shared hotel suite to watch a chick flick on my iPad while Jonas and I got a little work done in the main room, and it seems the walls of this Venezuelan hotel are paper-thin.

“Anything else you need me to look at?” Jonas asks.

“No, I think Kelly and Colten have things well under control until we get back,” I say, referring to the two regional managers we’ve hired to manage day-to-day operations of our initial twenty gyms. “I’ll send them your notes and set up a meeting for the week we get back.”

“Good. Thank you. And how about the grand opening?”

“I’ve got T-Rod overseeing the final details with an event planner. We were originally gonna have a DJ, but the band at your wedding was so awesome, I hired them to play the event. Go big or go home, right?”

“Well, cost-wise, I’m not sure if we really need to—”

“Jonas, I’ll cover the band personally if you think the cost is excessive. I wanna kick things off with a bang—you know how much I love a good bang.”

Jonas smirks. “Yeah, I’m well aware, Josh. Okay, thanks. Now what about the conference call with the sales team? We should get their numbers in advance of the call so we can—”

I shut my laptop with gusto. “Nope. No more work allowed for you for the rest of your trip. ”

Jonas opens his mouth to protest.

“If anything else comes up this week, I’ll handle it. You’re on your honeymoon, bro—erase work from your mind.”

“Well, yeah, but you’re on vacation, too.”

“A honeymoon trumps a pre-baby vacation every time. Besides, Kat’s been sleeping a ton lately—she gets pretty wiped out these days—so I’ll have plenty of downtime in Argentina whenever she’s napping to address anything that might come up.”

Jonas exhales with relief. “Okay, cool. Thanks, Josh.”

“Just enjoy your honeymoon, man.”

“I plan to. We’re going to Belize next.”

“Ah, back to the scene of the original crime, huh?”

Jonas’ face lights up. “Yup. A tree house in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by howler monkeys—my idea of heaven on earth.”

“Sounds awesome.”

“So how’s Kat doing? Is she still puking?”

“Yeah, but not as much. She’s mostly just really tired.

Apparently, it takes a lot of energy to incubate a mighty Faraday spawn.

The good news for me is that, when Kat’s not sleeping or puking, her pregnancy hormones are through the roof.

” I snicker. “It’s like my unicorn permanently strapped a jet engine between her legs. ”

Jonas laughs. “Excellent.”

“Oh, yeah. I highly recommend pregnancy hormones.” I kiss the tips of my fingers like a French chef blessing his masterpiece.

“Good to know. Hopefully, Sarah will have the same experience when it’s her turn to incubate a mighty Faraday spawn.”

“Oh, you and Sarah are thinking about having kids?”

“Definitely. Not any time soon—but yeah.”

“Well, don’t wait too long,” I say. “My mighty Faraday spawn’s gonna need another mighty Faraday spawn to boss around sooner rather than later.”

“Oh, please. Your spawn’s gonna be my spawn’s little bitch,” Jonas says.

I laugh. “Bullshit, motherfucker. My spawn’s gonna kick your spawn’s tiny ass.”

“Ha! My spawn’s gonna make your spawn cry like a little baby.”

We both laugh.

“So how was New Zealand?” I ask .

“Fucking amazing,” Jonas says, leaning back in his chair. He gives me a summary of his and Sarah’s exciting Kiwi-adventures over the past week. “We stayed at the coolest place,” he says. “I’ll get you the info so you can take Kat.”

I scoff. “I think it’ll be a while before I take Kat rappelling down cliffs and bungee jumping off bridges.”

“Oh yeah.” Jonas grins. “I guess you’ll be laying low for a while on stuff like that, huh? How far along is she?”

“Fourteen weeks.”

“When the fuck will she actually look pregnant, by the way? She looks exactly the same as she always has.”

I shrug. “Hell if I know. I’ve never done this before.”

The girls let out a tortured wail in the other room—and then immediately giggle together—and Jonas and I laugh.

“I think there’s a good chance the two humans in that bedroom have vaginas,” I say.

Jonas nods his agreement. “God, I hope so, or else I’ve been seriously duped. So how was Brazil?” he asks.

“Un-fucking-believable.” I give him a brief synopsis of Kat’s and my travels through Brazil and show him a few photos on my phone. “In Rio, we stayed at this bungalow right on the beach. This is the view from the deck out front.”

“Whoa,” Jonas says, looking at my photo. “Send me the info on that place, would you? Maybe I’ll take Sarah to Rio later this year.”

“Oh, you should take Sarah for Carnival ,” I say.

“Oh, good idea,” Jonas says. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

I tap out a quick text to Theresa on my phone. “I’m texting T-Rod to send you the info on where we stayed in Rio. She’ll hook you right up.”

“Thanks,” Jonas says. He gets up and ambles to the bar in the corner of the suite. “You wanna beer?”

“Yeah. Hit me with some Venezuelan cerveza I’ve never heard of before, bro.”

Jonas opens the fridge. “Hmm. Looks like we’ve got something called Cardenal ?”

“ Perfecto , mi hermano. ”

Jonas hands me an opened beer and sits back down.

“ Gracias, ” I say .

“ De nada,” Jonas says, swigging his beer. “ Con mucho gusto, mi hermano estupido. ”

“You did really well talking to Mariela today,” I say. “I was impressed.”

“Yeah, Sarah speaks Spanish to me all the time,” Jonas says, grinning. “She’s so fucking sexy.” He sighs happily. “But my Spanish was already pretty good before Sarah came along. I guess it’s just burned into the deep recesses of my brain from when Mariela used to talk to us as kids.”

“Well, maybe it’s burned into the deep recesses of your brain, but it’s certainly not burned into mine. I couldn’t understand a fucking word Mariela was saying all day besides gracias and mi hijo and amor .”

Jonas chuckles. “You didn’t need to understand Mariela’s words—I think she made herself pretty damned clear with her body language.”

“Definitely,” I agree. “It was pretty hard to misunderstand all that hugging and kissing and crying.”

The girls squeal loudly in the other room and Jonas glances toward the source of the sound.

“Damn, these walls are thin,” Jonas says. “Maybe I should have gotten a separate suite for Sarah and me?”

“Meh, it’s fine,” I say. “It’s only for two nights. Plus, the four of us will be out all day tomorrow exploring Caracas—we’ll hardly be in the suite together except to sleep at night.”

“Well, maybe you and Kat plan to sleep. But I’m on my honeymoon, man—sleeping’s not on the agenda.” Jonas snickers. “And Sarah’s a screamer .”

“Dude, why you always gotta go there? I know you love screwing your beautiful wife, okay? I got it.” I roll my eyes. “I don’t need that visual of you.”

“What the fuck?” Jonas says, laughing. “You just told me your unicorn has a jet engine permanently strapped between her legs, and I’m not allowed to—”

“Blah, blah, blah,” I say, cutting Jonas off, making him laugh again.

“All I’m saying is if you’ve got a problem with all of us sharing a suite, then you’ll have to be the one to move, not me.

Theresa said this is the only hotel in Caracas that’s up to my standards—and there’s only one penthouse suite in the whole goddamned hotel.

So if you wanna move to a ghetto room on a lower floor be my guest, motherfucker, but I’m staying right here where the streets are paved with gold. ”

“You’re such a snob, you know that?”

I shrug and take a sip of my beer. “I make no apologies—I like what I like.”

“Eh, Sarah won’t want to switch rooms, anyway,” Jonas says. “She insisted on staying with Kat our two nights here. She’s been going through some sort of Kat withdrawal this past week.”

I laugh. “Same with Kat. Every little thing we did in Brazil, Kat was like, ‘Oh my God, Sarah would love this.’”

We grin at each other for a long beat.

“How’d we get so fucking lucky?” I ask.

Jonas shrugs. “I have no idea. A broken clock is right twice a day, I guess.”

“Sarah’s really sweet,” I say. “I can’t believe she even thought to arrange a reunion with Mariela, let alone pull it all together on the sly like that.”

“That’s Sarah,” Jonas says. “She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Just genuinely kind. ”

“She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met, too,” I agree.

“What about Kat? She’s not the sweetest person you’ve ever met?”

I snort. “Hell no.”

Jonas laughs. “Well, that’s not a very nice thing to say.”

“Aw, come on,” I say. “Kat’s sweet —really sweet. Heart of gold. But it’s buried underneath a thick outer shell of evil. The woman’s a demon spawn of the highest order.” Once again, I kiss my fingertips like a chef.

Jonas chuckles. “You always did like ’em evil.”

I mock-shudder like the very mention of evil excites me. “And, even better, crazy -evil.”

“Well, Sarah doesn’t have an evil bone in her body,” Jonas says. “Does she have a crazy-bone? Hell yes. A bossy-bone? Fuck yes. But an evil-bone? Not even in her little toe.”

“Like I said, Sarah’s the sweetest person I know,” I say, swigging my beer. “Which is perfect for you—you’ve always liked ’em sweet. ”

Jonas shrugs. “I don’t think that’s a particularly weird thing to like, Josh.”

“Bah,” I say. “Gotta have a little evil to brighten your day, I always say.”

Jonas chuckles. “Sicko.”

“I am what I am. So were you shocked when you got off the plane and saw Kat and me standing there—or did you already have a hunch?”