Page 32 of Consummation (The Josh & Kat Trilogy #3)

Twenty-Two

Kat

“Wow, it’s nice,” Josh says, pulling his Lamborghini to a stop in front of my parents’ house.

I’ve always been proud of my childhood home—it’s the place everyone always wanted to hang out when I was growing up—but now that I’m looking at it through Josh’s eyes, I’m realizing the entire house probably would fit inside the garage of Josh’s childhood home.

“This house is right out of a movie,” Josh says.

“What movie would that be, babe?” I ask.

“You know, every movie where a suburban high-schooler throws a raging kegger when his parents go out of town.”

“Oh, I think I’ve seen that one,” I say. “Does everyone get trashed and start jumping into the pool, fully clothed?”

“Yeah. And then hijinks ensues.”

I giggle. “That’s right. I’m pretty sure Ryan was in that movie at least ten times in high school, always playing the guy throwing the party.”

“I think I’m gonna love Ryan.”

“Oh, you will—he’s your spirit animal.”

Josh chuckles. “Ryan Morgan’s my spirit animal?”

I laugh. “Yes.”

“Is he gonna be here tonight?”

“Yep. Everyone but Keane—he had to work. Oh, and by the way, don’t mention the whole male-stripper thing to my parents. They have no idea Keane’s become Seattle’s answer to Magic Mike .”

“Would they care if they knew?”

I shrug. “Keane seems to think my dad would be really disappointed in him. But I told him, ‘No, Peen, Dad would have to have actual expectations in the first place in order to be disappointed .’” I snort.

“Well, that wasn’t a very nice thing to say.”

I chuckle. “When you meet Keane, you’ll understand. He’s just... Keane .” I touch Josh’s arm. “So are you ready to go in and face the firing squad?”

“Why you gotta say that?” Josh asks. “I’m nervous enough, babe.”

“Aw, I’m sorry. Just teasing. They’re gonna love you.”

“Just do me a favor. Don’t let it slip about the baby tonight, okay? Just like we agreed. First time out, I want your family to get to know me as Josh, not as The Guy Who Knocked Up Their Precious Baby Girl.”

“Babe, we already agreed to keep mum—my lips are sealed.”

“Kat, your lips are never sealed—you’re the biggest blabbermouth I know, bar none.”

I’m genuinely aghast at Josh’s characterization of me. “No, I’m not—I’m a steel safe.”

Josh hoots with laughter. “Kat, you blabbed to Sarah not five minutes after you said we should wait ’til after the wedding to say anything, and then you told Dax right after you said we were gonna wait to tell your family until after you’re showing.”

“Well, yeah, but Sarah doesn’t count as blabbing —telling Sarah’s the same thing as telling myself. And Dax doesn’t count as telling my family —because he’s Dax .” I roll my eyes. “Trust me, I’m a steel safe, babe—a locked vault.”

“Oh really? Well, guess who called me this afternoon out of the blue to congratulate me on our ‘little Cinnabon in the oven’?”

I bite my lip, too afraid to give myself away by venturing a guess—but I’m pretty sure there’s only one person in the world who’d ever refer to a baby as a “little Cinnabon in the oven.”

“ Henn ,” Josh says, confirming what I’m thinking. “He called to congratulate me and ask why the hell I didn’t tell him myself.”

I make a face that says, “Oops.”

“When did you tell Hannah?” Josh asks, scowling at me.

I flash Josh my most charming smile. “Okay, now, see, telling Hannah wasn’t my fault.

Hannah and I went to lunch today and she was asking me about Golden Kat PR, hinting about how much she wants to be a part of it, and I didn’t want to string her along into thinking I was gonna be starting my company any time soon as originally planned.

So I told her, ‘Hey, I can only handle birthing one baby at a time—and this year, my one-and-only baby’s gonna be the accidental Faraday that’s currently growing inside my uterus. ’”

Josh shakes his head. I can’t read his expression well enough to gauge if he’s genuinely upset with me.

“Was Henny pissed he heard the news from Hannah and not you?” I ask.

“No, you know Henn. He’s always chill. I told him I didn’t tell him about the baby because you and I had solemnly agreed to keep it quiet until you’re showing.

” He glares at me, but his eyes are sparkling.

“Little did I know the ‘steel safe’ was out blabbing to everyone and their uncle about our little ‘Cinnabon in the oven.’”

“Oh, speaking of which, have you told your uncle?”

“Uh, no. Because we’d agreed to keep things quiet, you blabbermouth.”

I laugh. “So what did Henn say?”

“He said every time he sees our kid he’s gonna wonder if he personally witnessed it being conceived.”

I groan. “God, that was so embarrassing.”

Josh laughs. “He also said he predicts an entire minivan filled with screaming kids in my near future.”

My entire body jolts at the thought. “Slow down, High Speed,” I say, my heart in my throat.

“Oh, and he said I’m the luckiest bastard in the whole wide world.” He touches the cleft in my chin. “Which is the truth.”

I blush like a schoolgirl on a first date.

“And, hey, Miss Steel Safe, guess who called me right after Henn?” Josh asks, mock-glaring at me.

I hold my breath, trying to remember if there’s anyone else I’ve blabbed to besides Sarah, Dax, and Hannah.

Nope. Not a soul. Only the girls at my yoga class, but they don’t really count.

Oh, and the UPS guy—but only because I’d ordered a bunch of maternity leggings and he mentioned his wife is pregnant—so what was I supposed to do— not tell him?

Oh, and the barista at my favorite Starbucks, of course—but that was only because I’m no longer drinking caffeine and my usual barista noticed I’d ordered a decaf, so that one’s not my fault, either.

Oh, and Sarah’s mom. But that was only because I went to see the new additions she’s making to Gloria’s House (thanks to the finder’s fee money she received after we took down The Club), and Gloria said I looked “awfully pretty”—so what was I supposed to do then— not tell her I’m pregnant?

I scour my memory, trying to think if I’ve told anyone else—but, nope, I think that’s it.

Oh, Josh is staring at me, apparently expecting me to guess who called him after Henn.

I shrug. “I have no idea who called you,” I say. “I haven’t told anyone else.”

“ Reed ,” Josh says. “Because, apparently, Henn called Reed right after Hannah told him the news.”

“He did? Oh.”

“Yeah, he did. Which is so unlike Henn, I was shocked—if you wanna see what a real steel safe looks like, look no further than Peter Hennessey—so I asked Reed what Henn had said to him, and do you know what Reed said ?”

I shake my head.

“He told me that when you told Hannah our baby news, Hannah asked if you were keeping things on the down-low for a while— because she was fully prepared to keep our secret and respect our privacy —but you said, and I quote, ‘Not at all! I don’t care who knows about it! Blab away, Hannah Banana Montana Milliken! I’m bursting at the seams for the whole world to know! ’”

I bite my lip. “I said that? I don’t think I said that .”

“Well, either you said it or Hannah’s lying. Which is it?”

“Hannah’s lying. Definitely. She’s a big, fat liar. Actually, there’s something you should know about Hannah: she’s a pathological liar. Poor thing truly can’t discern the difference between truth and fiction. It’s such a shame. She’s a really sweet girl otherwise.”

Josh is clearly suppressing a smile. “Huh. Pretty weird you set Henn up with a known pathological liar. That wasn’t very nice of you.”

I shrug, trying to suppress my smirk.

“And even weirder you wanted her to be your right-hand-woman at Golden Kat PR. That sounds like horrible judgment on your part, PG. ”

“Well, you know, I was hoping to rehabilitate her—kill her with kindness until she saw the error of her ways.”

Josh chuckles.

“So you’re not mad at me for being a blabbermouth?” I ask.

“No, if you wanna blab, go ahead. All I ask is that you tell me first so my best friends aren’t calling me up, congratulating me on my forthcoming child , and I’m sitting there like a flop-dick with my thumb up my ass.”

“I’m sorry. I just couldn’t keep it to myself. Now that I’m finally through the first trimester and feeling so much better, I’m bursting to tell people.”

Josh grabs my hand. “You’re so fucking adorable, Kat.”

I grin. “So what did Reed say? Was he shocked?”

“To put it mildly,” Josh says. “But when I told him I’m starting to get sort of excited about our little kumquat, he was really happy for me—for us.”

“ Lime .”

“Huh?”

“The baby’s the size of a lime now.” I pat my stomach. “No longer a kumquat.”

Josh makes a face that melts me. He touches my stomach. “No matter how big the baby gets, it will always be the-kumquat-inside-the-Kumquat to me.”

My heart leaps. “You told Reed you’re getting sort of excited about the kumquat?”

Josh beams a beautiful smile at me. “Yeah.”

“And are you?”

“Babe, what the hell have I been doing this whole past week with you, shopping for cribs and diaper changing tables and fucking onesies and maternity leggings if I’m not starting to get at least a little bit excited about the-kumquat-inside-the-Kumquat?”

I shrug. “It still feels nice to hear you say it.”

Josh grabs my hand, his eyes sparkling. “Well that settles it, babe—you’ve definitely got a vagina.”

“I sure hope so,” I say. “Because pushing a baby out my peen would really hurt.”

“Oh my God. Gah.” He shudders with phantom pain and puts his forehead on his steering wheel. “Don’t say that. Just the thought. ”

I giggle. “Okay, Playboy. You ready to go into Morgan Manor now?” I look at my watch. “Oh, we’re still a bit early—it’s ten to seven. My mom said to come between seven and seven-thirty.”

Josh takes a deep breath. “Good. That gives me a little more time to prepare mentally.”

“Prepare mentally? To meet my family? Babe, they’re gonna love you. Don’t worry, they’re predisposed to love you because I love you and I told them so. I told them I love you, I love you, I love you—and I do.”