Page 63

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I woke up surrounded in darkness.

It scared the fuck out of me for a second—until I noticed the faintest sunrise etched into the dark sky.

It was the softest pink against the midnight blue, cloudy sky.

A soft sigh fell from my lips as I soaked in the early hours of the sunrise.

Her arms were firm around my waist, her breath warm against my neck.

I could even feel the softness of her lips against my skin, her face nuzzled into my neck as she held me so close.

The front of her body felt perfect against the back of mine, almost like we were always meant to lay like this.

I glanced away from the faint sunrise, eyeing one of her hands that naturally cupped one of my breasts.

And not through the material of my nightgown.

No.

Monroe's hand had slipped under the material, her hand cupping the bare skin of my breast.

She was so warm against me, her touch firm enough to know she's here with me.

I never wanted to move from this position.

But I also can't sleep, and I'll never forget the time I fell out of bed.

Monroe always said to wake her up no matter what.

And I really want to kiss her and talk to her, and stare into her blue eyes.

I want to spend some of my morning with her before she has to go to work.

I immediately stiffened, suddenly thinking about the woman Monroe works with.

Fuck.

I have an appointment with Dr. Kincaid today.

I seriously need to cancel that.

Probably right now.

I suddenly reached over to the nightstand, my movements slow and hesitant.

Yet Monroe managed to stir from her sleep anyway, shifting against me before she inevitably tightened her hold around me.

Her legs tangled deeper with mine, curling even more against me.

It made me purse my lips into a smile, carefully unplugging my phone from the charger.

The brightness made me squint my eyes, quickly trying to turn it down before it could wake Monroe up.

Then I navigated to my email that I never used, searching for the keyword Meridian since it's the name of the practice.

I clicked on the recent appointment email before scrolling through to find the link.

Luckily, there was a cancel button that led me directly to the website to cancel today's session.

I swear I felt a physical relief flow through my body the moment it stated my appointment was canceled.

"Liberty."

Her voice was raspy, lowered in my ear as she stirred against me.

It made me flinch, clutching my phone as I tried not to actually fucking scream.

But her suddenly being awake scared the fuck out of me.

"Oh my god, you scared me," I whispered, locking my phone as I let out the deepest sigh of my life.

"Why can't you sleep, darling?" Monroe murmured, pressing the gentlest kiss to my neck.

"I don't know," I whispered, setting my phone back on the nightstand, "I canceled my appointment today."

"Good," she determined, softly kissing beneath my ear, "You saved me the trouble of doing it myself."

I laughed softly, "Glad I could help you out, Dr. Leclair," I said as she subtly caressed her fingers against my breast.

Specifically, my nipple, which hardened immediately under her teasing touch.

"Monroe," I warned, trying to arch away from her touch, but it was no use with the position she had me in.

"Liberty," she mocked back, softly nipping at my ear lobe and earning a soft squeal from me.

"Ro," I laughed, now trying to lean away from her mouth.

"Li," she teased back, and the nickname alone made my face grow warm.

No one had ever called me that before, but somehow it's all I want Monroe to call me from here on out.

I tried my best to wiggle around in her arms, naturally coming face to face with her.

She looked perfect.

Her messy bangs framed her bare face, her eyes heavy with the cutest amount of tiredness.

Her lips glistened with the faint chapstick I watched her apply last night, her silky hair spread across the pillow.

"Good morning, beautiful," I softly whispered, reaching up to gently tuck some of her hair behind her ears.

"Good morning, my sweet girl," Monroe whispered back to me, leaning down to close the space between our faces.

But not to kiss me.

No.

She just rested her nose against mine, staring so deeply into my eyes.

It made me feel weirdly exposed, staring back into her blue eyes that reflected fragments of myself.

I tilted my head ever so slightly, grazing my lips against hers as I held her stare.

Monroe instinctively met me halfway, kissing me softly, even with our eyes open and burning so deeply into one another's.

But as soon as our lips met for a second kiss, our eyes naturally fluttered closed, deepening the kiss with our tongues.

There was never morning breath with Monroe.

I tasted nothing but warmth.

It made me wonder if she felt the same about me.

If I didn't have morning breath.

She wouldn't kiss me if it was bad, right?

I gently pushed her back by her shoulders, breaking our deep kiss to lean up from the bed.

I lifted my leg over her body, straddling her with ease.

"Mommy's girl," Monroe softly murmured, staring up at me with the most attractive look in the fucking word.

Maybe it was her heavy eyes or perfectly messy hair.

Or maybe it was her words.

"Do you like this Ro Ro?" I teased her, pulling my long hair to one shoulder as I subtly shifted against her.

The softest hum vibrated in Monroe's throat, sending goosebumps down my spine.

"I adore this, Liberty," she didn't hesitate to say, gripping my hips to guide my pace.

I raised a brow, staring down at her beneath me, "You like it when I'm on top?" I purposely asked, wanting to push her further.

Maybe a part of me wanted her to take control of this.

Maybe show me my place here.

"I like the view it provides, darling," Monroe corrected me, her grip tightening on my hips, "That's your only purpose for being on top. To look pretty for mommy."

I let out a deep sigh, my nipples inevitably hardening through my nightgown.

"Good girl," she praised me, her stare shifting down to my chest, "You look very pretty for me right now, Liberty."

"Monroe," I breathed out, my voice borderline pleading as I rocked my hips against her.

My core was exposed against her, feeling the smoothness of her silk pajama pants.

Monroe groaned in response from the friction I caused between us, openly watching the mess I'm making of myself on top of her.

A moan burned in my throat when she firmly grabbed my neck, pressing her thumb just right against the front of my throat.

Then she guided my hips to grind faster against her, meeting me halfway with her own grinds.

"Oh my god," I breathed out, desperately grinding deeper against her, my wetness ruining her silk pajama pants.

"Perfect, Liberty," she moaned out so fucking softly, making everything around me grow fuzzy.

I ran my hands under her silk pajama tank top, gripping her for support.

AllI could do was bask in the feeling of this moment.

"Monroe, yes," I whimpered when she guided my hips to speed up the pace, "Yes, baby," I encouraged her, my eyes rolling closed as my heavy head fell back.

Monroe squeezed my neck even firmer, making it hard to breathe, but somehow that contributed to my arousal.

It made my orgasm approach almost seconds later, scratching my nails down her soft stomach.

My back curved, arching deeply as I gasped for air between my uncontrollable moans.

Monroe's soft hums echoed around me, mixing with my moans as she naturally guided my hips at a slower pace.

My orgasm smoothly faded into this burning warmth, leaning down to collapse against her body.

Monroe naturally let go of my neck, wrapping her arm around me as she pulled the covers back over us.

I relaxed against her body, my cheek pressed to the center of her chest, and my heavy eyes closed.

My breathing came out in uncontrollable pants, basking in the aftermath of my orgasm.

I wasn't sure how much time passed between us, not with our calm mutual silence.

My panting eventually slowed into soft long breaths, and suddenly, all I felt was tired again.

I don't even remember falling asleep.

I just naturally drifted off, waking up to the familiar sound of Monroe's soft alarm.

A groan vibrated in my chest, stretching out my legs folded on either side of her body.

"Five more minutes," I bargained, nuzzling in closer to her as she reached over to her nightstand to turn off the alarm.

"That's my early alarm," Monroe murmured, her voice heavy with raspiness.

"Thank god," I whispered, recalling the alarm Monroe always set an hour before she had to get up.

I don't know why she did it.

Maybe to mentally prepare an hour early.

It kind of helped me prepare, weirdly enough, since it gave me an hour head's up.

I got to nuzzle closer to her, falling back asleep for another sixty minutes.

But once the second alarm went off, it was really time for her to get up.

She positioned a pillow beside me to hold, but it wasn't the same as having her beside me.

I was too tired to really argue that point, though, so I just drifted back to sleep as she began getting ready for work.

She was quiet as usual—I didn't hear a sound.

Not even her familiar heels since she doesn't wear them through the house.

All I recall was her softly kissing my lips, murmuring a brief goodbye as she caressed my hair away from my face.

I wasn't sure how long I slept after that, but my alarm went off at ten to get ready for class.

There was also a note on the nightstand that immediately caught my attention.

Call me when you wake up.

-Ro Ro

A smile grew on my lips, already feeling like we were getting back into our normal dynamic.

Just with a few bonus things added.

I can't wait to see what she has planned for tonight.

I assume it would be a date, right?

Hopefully.

I let out a deep sigh as I stretched, reaching for my phone.

I texted Zion and Sarai about lunch today since I forgot to reschedule our dinner plans last night.

Then I had to unblock Monroe's number, calling her as I slid out of bed to walk toward the bathroom.

"Ro Ro," I immediately said when the line clicked, smiling happily to myself.

"My sweet girl," she murmured, her soft voice flooding in from the phone speaker, "How did you sleep?"

"Amazing," I determined, reaching for the toothbrush I opened last night. "How is work?"

"The usual," Monroe said, making me roll my eyes as I grabbed the toothpaste to spread over my toothbrush, "I left breakfast for you in the oven, and your credit card on the counter."

Her words made my face grow warm.

Or my entire body actually.

She was already focused on handling everything as usual.

Even finances.

"What did you make me?" I decided to ask, wondering what she possibly could've cooked prior to work.

Cooking for me so early in the morning was already thoughtful as it is.

"You'll see," she just had to say, "Make sure to drink water as well."

I hummed as I began brushing my teeth, "I will," I murmured, setting my phone on the counter with it on speaker.

"Good girl," Monroe said, making me draw in a slight breath as I tried to focus on brushing my teeth. "What are your plans for today?"

"Just class and then lunch with Zion and Sarai," I told her as I turned on the sink to spit the foamy toothpaste out.

"I hope you have fun, darling," Monroe said, making me smile as I continued brushing my teeth, "Don't forget you're mine this evening."

"Of course," I happily said, brushing my teeth more as I eyed myself in the mirror.

The pink nightgown looked really good against my tanned skin.

My straightened hair was in messy waves, but it looked cute, especially with my glowy skin.

I look, how I feel.

Happy.

"I have a patient now, darling," Monroe told me as I turned on the sink and spit out more foamy toothpaste, "I left clothes on the bed for you. Let me know when you're ready to leave, and I'll handle your Uber."

I hummed in acknowledgment, "Okay, have a great day," I said as I set my toothbrush down.

"You as well, my sweet girl," she briefly said before the call ended.

I let out a deep content sigh, grabbing my phone and walking out of the bathroom.

Just as Monroe specified, there was a pile of folded clothes waiting for me.

A crisp white long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of her grey sweatpants, which were so soft inside.

I happily got changed out of my nightgown, pulling on the outfit before impatiently walking downstairs to eat.

Monroe had left me an omelet with roasted potatoes and turkey bacon in the oven.

My mouth watered at the sight of food, immediately grabbing the tray with the plate.

I briefly heated my food, opening one of the drawers and carefully grabbing a fork from the neat stack.

Then I sat at the kitchen island, happily eating as I texted with Zion and Sarai about lunch later.

I also made sure to drink a glass of water before telling Monroe I was ready to leave.

She handled the Uber immediately while I gathered all my things.

Even the black Amex card that sat on the kitchen island for me.

My Uber arrived within a few minutes, luckily, considering I had class at twelve and it's close to eleven now.

Traffic wasn't too bad, but I still ended up rushing to get ready for class.

I took a quick shower, pulling my wavy hair in a sleek high ponytail.

I pulled on a pair of jeans with a cheetah print sweater that hung off one shoulder, sliding on a pair of Adidas before rushing out of my apartment.

For once, I was running five minutes late to class, but I hoped a little bit of speeding would change that.

It did not.

Traffic made me ten minutes late, and I had to walk in during the lecture.

Worst experience ever, considering everyone stared at me, but I stared right back.

Being late is totally normal, I'm not sure what their problem is, honestly.

The professor had barely started our lecture today anyway, so I didn't even miss a lot.

I got all the notes and even got a head start on the assignment handout before class ended.

Then it was finally time to have lunch with Zion and Sarai at their place.

I updated Monroe, texting her about how I was late to class, and that everyone stared.

Her first response was to ask who "everyone" is, which amused me.

Even if I knew she was serious about anyone staring at me, but she's not about to disappear one of my classmates.

So I subtly told her the entire class, even if I questioned how far she might take that.

Would I walk into an empty classroom next week?

I tried switching the topic by sending my location, but apparently she didn't even need it anymore, which wasn't even the least bit surprising.

It did make me glance around the student parking lot out of paranoia, but whoever she had watching wasn't anywhere to be found.

I'll have to talk to her about that later.

Right now, I decided to focus on driving to Zion and Sarai's.

It was now a little past two, so I felt decently hungry.

Hopefully, lunch is already done.

We all decided on homemade pizza in the group chat since it's easier.

Zion even offered to make it since Sarai had morning classes.

"Libs," Sarai smiled as she opened the door for me, her wavy hair was a little messy, and she wore a baggy t-shirt with Nike shorts, "I just woke up from a nap."

"A nap sounds so good right now," I dramatically groaned, leaning in for a hug.

"It feels like it's been years," Sarai said as she hugged me back.

I chuckled, "It's been around four days since I saw you guys—that's practically a year," I joked, knowing I haven't laid eyes on either of them since before the therapy retreat.

"Feels like two," I heard Zion say as I pulled away from Sarai.

And the moment I glanced over to the kitchen, I had to physically hold back my laugh.

Yes, Zion was cutting the pizza he had made for us.

But he was also wearing a fucking face mask.

This is totally Ziona.

He's even wearing Sarai's apron.

"How's the pizza coming, Ziona?" I decided to say, earning a stifled laugh from Sarai.

Meanwhile, Zion only gave me a blank stare.

"Please tell me you got a picture of this?" I suddenly asked Sarai, needing digital proof of this exact moment.

Sarai chuckled again, "Oh, I snuck a—"

"No one's getting any pizza if you keep joking," Zion cut her short with a narrowed look, making us both tightly purse our lips to withhold our laughter.

But it was such a sassy thing of him to say.

I really wanted to call him Ziona again, but I refrained for the sake of pizza.

He also made garlic knots which were so fucking good.

"So, how is everything?" Sarai asked with a growing smile as we got comfortable at the table.

"Incredible," I didn't hesitate to say, carefully grabbing a piece of the pizza loaded with cheese and different meats.

Everything is officially amazing again.

It feels like my life is looking up now that Monroe is back in it.

"That's great, Libs," Zion said as he grabbed a piece of pizza, setting it on Sarai's plate.

"I think it's that new friend of yours," Sarai determined as Zion put two garlic knots on her plate, "Mariel something, right?"

I laughed at her mixup, "Maricel," I corrected her, "And she's fine, but I'm just happy in general," I clarified, especially since I knew I would have to distance myself from Maricel.

I'm just not sure how yet, but it's not right to be her friend now that I'm with Monroe.

Maricel has worked hard on her progress, and I don't want to affect it further.

I honestly shouldn't have tried to be her friend, which I knew in the moment, but my judgment was clouded by the heaviness Monroe's absence left.

Now I'm not sure how to handle the aftermath of this.

Still, I decided to leave it as a later problem and focus on the food Zion made.

The pizza had the best cheese pull with each bite, and the garlic knots were perfectly crispy.

I was in food heaven, and the carbs genuinely made me tired.

I had to unbutton my pants by the time we finished, due to how bloated I felt, but it was totally worth it.

I crashed as soon as I got home, taking the fattest nap of my life.

It was one of those naps where I woke up and had to remember what day it was, the time, and my entire existence.

My phone was also vibrating with a call that woke me up from my nap, causing me to immediately reach over and answer it.

Monroe probably wanted to follow up on our evening plans.

"Hola, mija," her familiar voice flowed through the phone.

Maricel.

It made me jolt awake entirely, sitting up from my bed as I glanced over to my illuminated phone.

"Hey... Maricel," I said, trying my best not to sound awkward.

"How did the club go last night?" she asked me, her familiar voice flowing through my phone speaker.

I blinked a few times, "Good, very good, I uh am actually in the middle of something right now," I quickly lied, shaking my head to myself at how awful the lie sounded.

"Sí, of course, maybe we could meet up for coffee tomorrow to catch up?" Maricel asked, making me briefly purse my lips.

But maybe that would be a good time to say I need space.

I probably shouldn't ghost her after how nice and supportive she's been.

That would be even worse than anything I've done.

Or maybe befriending her in general was worse.

"Yes, sure, how does eleven sound?" I offered since I'm free of classes tomorrow.

"Perfect," Maricel told me, "Enjoy the rest of your day."

"You too," I murmured before promptly ending the call.

Then I checked my phone for any new texts from Monroe.

There was one that I read immediately.

I smiled at her text, typing a brief okay before sending it.

I wonder what she has planned for us.

Hopefully, we're going out after whatever she has planned at her house.

She'll probably take me to a place on the outskirts of Seattle out of precaution, but I don't care.

It's still our first date.

I think?

I'm not sure if it's a date, but I still want to do it right.

It's only a little past four now, so I decided to make time to pick her up flowers.

I didn't plan to do much, so it wouldn't take long to get ready.

I already had a short black dress picked out.

It was high-necked and flowed past my mid-thighs, exposing my toned back.

It felt perfect for tonight.

And I also decided to do a wash day and wear my curls for her, as she prefers.

Makeup-wise, I didn't do much—just a little concealer, mascara, and some blush.

I wanted to keep it mostly natural.

I also wore the kitten heels she gifted me for Valentine's Day to add to my look, quickly applying the fragrance oil I used to wear before rushing out of my room.

I determined I might be a few minutes late if I stopped for flowers, but it still felt worth it to me.

Plus, I found the cutest florist shop on the way to her house, so I decided to stop there.

I didn't have a particular flower in mind—I just wanted to get her the best quality bouquet there was.

And I used my other credit card from my mother to keep the surprise aspect.

I settled on a bouquet of pink roses, white hydrangeas, and greenery mixed in with the perfect flowers.

The florist wrapped it in white mesh material with a thick white bow, so it looked perfect for Monroe.

I did correct the bow a little, so nothing was out of place for her.

The entire drive to her house, excitement coursed through my body, thrumming my fingers against my steering wheel.

I swear I couldn't sit still.

All I could think about was her—us, and these flowers.

I felt so lucky to even get this side from her.

It was nice knowing that no one got more from her, at least.

Yes, they got arrangements, but I got Monroe.

I win.

My wide smile nearly grew ten times wider the moment I got parked in front of her house.

I didn't hesitate to grab the bouquet and my purse, nearly hopping out of my car.

I was only a few minutes late.

Twelve to be exact, but I still have no regrets.

I rushed to the familiar front door, walking up the short steps with the large bouquet in hand.

The front door opened before I had a chance to knock.

Or attempt to, given all the stuff in my arms.

"Ro Ro," I smiled at her as she opened the front door.

She wore a high-neck navy blouse with soft cream dress pants, her silky hair tied up in a high bun with her bangs framing her face.

She wore minimal makeup as usual, her blue eyes zoned in on the bouquet in my hands.

"This is for you," I told her, passing off the flowers to her.

Monroe blinked a few times as she took the flowers, remaining silent as I passed by her into the warm house.

I slid off my heels by the front door as she softly closed the door, turning to face me.

"Do you like them? I wasn't sure what your favorite flowers are," I admitted, my dark eyes trailing her face.

I think she's having a malfunction because she hasn't given me a single reaction.

She just looked neutral as she stared down at the flowers, processing my actions.

"I don't have a preference," Monroe finally spoke, blinking again as she glanced away from the bouquet. "Thank you, Liberty."

I tilted my head at her stiff words, unsure if I had done something wrong.

She looked visibly uncomfortable.

"You don't have to keep them if you don't like them. Or maybe I crossed a boundary? I just wanted to do something nice for you, and you always get me flowers so—"

"Liberty," Monroe gently cut my embarrassing rambling short, taking a step toward me. "I adore these. I appreciate the effort you put in."

I pursed my lips, staring so deeply into her eyes.

There's something she's not telling me.

Something is wrong with these flowers.

It's not even that she's caught off guard.

My gesture unsettled her.

"Something is wrong," I whispered, hating that I had already messed up this quickly.

Monroe suddenly sighed. "It's not you," she said, glancing away from me as she rolled her shoulders back, "I typically received flowers after dressage or various matches."

I furrowed my brows, "Dress—age?" I awkwardly repeated back to her, wondering what that meant.

"It's a form of horseback riding, darling," Monroe explained, her lips twitching up slightly at my confusion.

"Oh okay," I whispered, blinking a few times as I reached for the flowers, "I'm really sorry."

Monroe leaned away before I could take the flowers, "You have nothing to apologize for.

I adore these, Liberty. Truly," she assured me as I tried my best not to let this ruin my night, "My parents only gifted me flowers as a symbol of image.

There were forced pictures and tight smiles. I despised it."

I frowned at her words, "I swear I wouldn't have gotten them if I knew," I tried to explain, hating that I dredged up a bad memory for her.

It was nice to know more about her, but not at this cost.

"My sweet girl," Monroe whispered, reaching up to gently cup my cheek, her hand so soft against my skin, "It's okay. I know you always have the purest intentions."

I let out a deep sigh as she gently caressed her thumb across my skin, making me relax a little more.

This is totally not a good start to our first date together.

Now I hope this isn't a date, or else I ruined it all.

"Come on, I have everything set up," she suddenly spoke through the silence, motioning her head toward the hallway.

I silently nodded as she let go of my cheek, walking with me down the hallway.

I tried to gather my nerves, not wanting to let this affect everything.

It was a simple mistake, but now I guess it makes sense why she always gifts me the same crisp red roses rather than those extravagant flower bouquets.

I assume those kinds of bouquets are what her parents got her.

I halted my walking as soon as we emerged from the hallway, noticing the setup on the dining room table immediately.

There were mini paint easels and canvases, precisely lined paint bottles, and palettes to pour the different paints into.

There was also a candle lit with a bottle of wine that I knew was for me—along with glasses of water and potato chips to snack on.

It was a very cute setup... I appreciated it very much.

But I assumed we would go out for real this time?

I feel like I sound selfish.

She set this up for me.

I should be happy.

I think this was all messed up the moment I purchased those flowers.

It was doomed from the start.

"I really like this," I suddenly said, blinking a few times as I tried to push my heavy thoughts away.

Monroe remained silent for a moment, but I could feel the weight of her stare on me, gauging my reaction.

Until she suddenly nodded, glancing away from me, "I made something more of your preference for dinner as well," she said, making my eyes shift to the kitchen.

I noticed the red roses on the kitchen island immediately, which now rested beside the bouquet I had gotten for her.

I took a curious step toward the kitchen when she opened the oven to reveal what she had made.

It was turned onto the warm setting, with the trays of food in there to keep everything warm without cooking it more.

"Burgers and fries," I whispered in observation, feeling kind of excited for the meal.

The fries looked homemade, too.

Yet, somehow, there was still this pit in my stomach.

"Can we eat first?" I suddenly asked.

"Of course, darling," Monroe didn't hesitate to say, opening a drawer to grab the oven mitts.

I took a seat at the kitchen island, not wanting to eat at the table she had carefully set up.

It barely took her a few minutes to plate our food, transferring it from the pan to shiny plates.

"Thank you," I whispered when she set the plate in front of me.

"You're welcome, my sweet girl," she said, opening the fridge and grabbing the ketchup for me.

I immediately picked up my burger, taking a big bite without thinking it through.

I just needed to eat.

"Is it good, darling?" Monroe softly asked me, sitting down beside me and setting her napkin in her lap.

I nodded a few times, unable to say anything through the food in my mouth.

I reached for the ketchup as I chewed, pouring a little bit of the sauce on my plate before grabbing a few fries.

It was silent as we ate.

Monroe was more controlled, barely making a dent in her food while I made it almost halfway through.

That's when I began to feel the same pit in my stomach.

I had barely eaten half of my burger and fries, yet somehow there was that familiar feeling.

One that I had subconsciously tried to run away from by eating all of this.

"I'll be right back," I rushed out, dropping the fries in my hand and slipping down from the tall barstool.

Monroe didn't have time to answer me.

I rushed to the nearest guest bathroom instead, my hands trembling and my eyes growing with tears.

I was stupid to think this could ever be something normal for us.

Of course, we can't go out in public.

Our dates will only consist of being at her house.

I don't know why that makes me so upset.

Why actually going out with her mattered so much to me.

It's stupid.

I'm being stupid.

I let out a long, controlled sigh as I sat on the closed toilet lid.

All I wanted was to get on the floor and force myself to throw up all that food into the toilet.

It would make me feel better.

I know it would make me feel better.

Maybe tonight would go much smoother as well.

I sniffled, shaking my head at my convincing thoughts.

No, I shouldn't.

Everything was supposed to be okay again.

Incredible, remember?

What am I doing?

Why am I ruining this?

I drew in a series of deep breaths, my vision blurred, and my tears annoyingly spilling from my eyes.

There goes my makeup.

At this point, everything is already messed up.

I harshly wiped my tears away, sliding down from the toilet to the ground.

I pulled the toilet seat up despite my thoughts screaming at me not to, but I knew I would feel better afterward.

Maybe I can make tonight better again once I surrender to this first.

"Liberty."

I stalled at her voice, the soft knocks that echoed against the bathroom door.

Then reality came crashing in around me, and I truly processed the toilet I was kneeling at right now.

How disgusting this is of me.

What is wrong with me?

I quickly stumbled up from the floor, wiping more of my tears away, even if they came back worse.

But Monroe is standing on the other side of that door, and I don't want to ruin this all further.

Fuck.

"One second," I forced out, reaching for the soft toilet paper to dab under my eyes.

I quickly turned on the sink to the coldest setting, hoping to use the coldness to help with my flushed cheeks or red nose.

My eyes are already puffy, too.

"I'm coming in," I heard her say, making everything inside of me panic.

"No-no, wait, I'm almost done," I tried to assure her, but the lock had already clicked.

I heard it.

The door opened before I could clean up my makeup anymore, and I knew my flushed cheeks and puffy eyes alone gave it away.

I could tell by the look on Monroe's face.

Her expression softened, immediately stepping inside the bathroom as she reached for my waist.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm ruining this—I already ruined this with the bouquet, and now I'm crying in your bathroom," I forced out as she hugged me to her body, reaching over to turn the sink off for me.

"No, I should apologize. I could've reacted better, Liberty," she sighed, but all I could do was disagree.

"You don't have to control your reactions, Monroe. Not if it triggered you," I whispered, hating that she felt forced to react happily to something that only brought up bad memories.

"No, you deserved a better reaction. I should've done a better setup for you as well. I know you didn't like it," Monroe determined, holding me closer as she nuzzled her face into the crook of my neck, "I'm not accustomed to this kind of thing."

Her honest words made something crack inside of me, realizing this was her first time going to these lengths for someone.

"No, I loved the setup," I whispered brokenly, annoying tears burning in my eyes, "I just thought we were going out?

And-and I don't know, this feels the same as before, and I guess that scares me because what if you decide that this isn't enough? What if you need arrangements?"

Monroe remained silent for a moment, her caresses against my back stalling as she processed my words.

I pressed my cheek firmer against her chest, my grip on her waist tightening for some kind of stability.

I wasn't sure what she would say.

How she would react.

This is probably too much for her as it is.

"Liberty," Monroe suddenly said, slowly pulling away from me.

I sniffled, meeting her stare through tear-filled eyes.

She looked hesitant, her eyes openly trailing my face.

She was silent for a few beats, naturally making my stomach twist in knots.

"I don't need arrangements," she finally spoke through the silence between us, reaching up to gently cup my cheek in her hand, "I need you, Liberty."

I blinked a few times at her genuine words, finding them so fucking relieving.

She needs me?

She... doesn't need arrangements.

That feels so good to know, better than I ever would've imagined.

"I need you too," I suddenly whispered, my grip on her waist tightening, "I need you so much."

Monroe's lips twitched up as she stared so deeply into my eyes, "We can't go out for a multitude of reasons," she briefly clarifed, her stare not wavering from mine, "But I'll find a way to make this better for you, darling," she whispered so softly, leaning her face closer to mine.

I tilted my head back, leaning closer to her for the kiss I knew she wanted.

Monroe closed the space between us entirely, softly pressing her lips to mine.

I relaxed against her, sighing softly through my nose as she kissed me deeper.

I ran my hands up her back, pressing myself firmer against her body as I kissed her back just as deeply.

She felt so warm against me, and her lips were so soft.

Going out doesn't matter when we have this.

It's something I can move past easily.

"I want to show you something," Monroe suddenly said against my lips, pulling away from me and breaking the kiss between us.

"Okay," I said, furrowing my brows as she gently grabbed my hand and pulled me along with her.

I wondered if she had another setup somewhere.

Maybe her bedroom?

But instead, she led me back into the kitchen, opening one of the bottom cabinets—

Which had a miniature safe?

I blinked a few times at the randomness of it, but turned around to give her privacy to input the code.

Even if I was suddenly curious and scared at the same time, wondering what was worth hiding in that safe.

I expected it to be something expensive, like a family heirloom or something.

But it was... a key?

An older gold key that looked a little tarnished, the metal curved into a design at the handle.

It made alarm bells go off in my head, wondering what the key could possibly unlock.

Why was it hidden in a safe to begin with?

"Monroe," I said, tilting my head as she gently grabbed my hand again.

This is making me feel a little weird.

"You want this to feel different than last time, darling," she murmured, guiding me toward the small hallway off to the side of the kitchen, "Perhaps this will help you feel closer to me."

I had never walked down this hallway she led me down, much less glanced at it more than a few times.

But apparently, it leads to a staircase separate from the one by the front door, which concerned me a little.

There's a whole other part of her house that I don't know about?

Yet there was only one locked door waiting for us after climbing two sets of stairs, my heart stilling in my chest as I tried to process this.

I knew this would either be really good for us or really bad for me.

Maybe both?

Fuck.