Page 53

? ? ?

Zion and Sarai didn't ask me a single question.

I expected them to ask what happened or want an explanation, but they never insisted on anything.

Zion sat with me on the couch while I tried to calm down, and Sarai made us breakfast.

It wasn't anything crazy, just blueberry toaster waffles and eggs, something that I was very grateful for.

Yet all I could think about was Monroe and how she would make the opposite.

I wasn't that hungry, but I was on the verge of passing out from exhaustion alone.

Sarai helped set up the couch for me to sleep on before she got ready for class, while Zion prepared her stuff for the day, like snacks and water.

I got situated on the couch once it was set up for me, trying not to think of Monroe tucking me in.

She hasn't texted me.

Then again, I'm sure she already knows my whereabouts.

She probably somehow knows what I ate for fucking breakfast.

Yet she still hasn't texted me to discuss anything.

I know its purposeful.

She's waiting for me to come to her, but I'm not this time.

I told her it was more or nothing, and I meant it.

She knows I meant it, which is why she's not texting—we're both standing our ground here.

But she's the one who is obsessed with me.

She'll reach out eventually.

I just need to be strong and wait her out.

Then she'll realize I'm truly serious and have no other option but to give me more.

I know she's not going to leave me alone.

She already said that numerous times to me, which was a little relieving.

I'm not losing her.

I just need to prove my point, and everything will go back to normal—or better than normal.

We'll officially be working towards something, instead of working towards an ending.

This is necessary to show her I'm not a pushover.

I'm not just her toy that she can mold like all her other arrangements.

I have the power to end this too, and I know that alone drives her insane.

I fell asleep peacefully knowing this would all work out as long as I'm patient and stand my ground.

I even caught up on my missed sleep from last night, given I knocked out for seven hours.

By the time I woke up, it was the afternoon, and the apartment was silent, aside from the clicking of a laptop keyboard.

I laid up from the couch with a sigh, looking over at Zion, who was seated at the kitchen island, focused on his laptop.

I slid off the couch, standing on my feet as I walked over to him.

"Look who's awake," he joked as I stopped by him, eyeing the digital notes on his laptop screen, "Was the couch comfortable enough?"

I nodded, "Really comfortable. I'm pretty surprised," I admitted, "You're studying?"

"Yeah, I've been at it for an hour maybe," Zion said, glancing over to me, "Don't forget about the exam tomorrow."

My brows raised in realization, faintly recalling the exam that our professor had been mentioning for the last two weeks.

She also mentioned it yesterday but I was so fucking giddy about Monroe that I barely paid attention in class.

Luckily, I always catch up on work and notes, so I think studying over everything might be enough.

I hope?

Exams are weighted heavily, so I can't fail this, or I'll have no wiggle room for small errors I might make on assignments.

"Can I study with you?" I suddenly asked Zion.

That would definitely help with my confidence for the exam.

"Sure, we could do the digital flash cards," he offered, earning a smile from me.

"Perfect," I said, walking over to the fridge to grab a water.

I halted my steps, noticing the familiar matte black box sitting on the counter.

"What's that?" I asked, even if part of me knew exactly what it was.

"Oh yeah," Zion said, glancing over to the box, "That was delivered for you earlier. I wasn't sure if you wanted it."

I pursed my lips together, knowing I should say I didn't want it.

I should throw the box in the trash.

But I couldn't.

I had to see if there was a note.

Maybe an apology of some sort.

I reached for the box before I could think it through, tugging the lid off—

To reveal crisp red roses.

I grabbed the card lying on top of the flowers, opening the small envelope to read what it said.

But it was blank.

Of course, it's blank.

This isn't her waving a white flag.

She wants a reaction out of me.

She wants me to react and reach out first, but I'm not.

Zion tilted his head when I threw the blank card and flowers in the trash, clearly confused by my actions.

But he left it unacknowledged.

We focused on studying instead, ensuring we went over the necessary topics for the exam.

A lot of it was already really familiar to me, so that was soothing.

It also helped distract me for a few hours, keeping my brain focused on studying rather than Monroe.

Once we finished, we left to pick up Chinese takeout for Sarai since it's her favorite.

Her classes are normally concluded by the afternoon, but she had a group project to work on for a few hours.

Zion and I even made chocolate chip cookies for her too, as a surprise.

We also set the food on the coffee table in the living room, so we could chill for the rest of the evening.

Sarai was really happy when she came home to the food and movie pulled up.

I'm sure classes and then her group project were probably extensive.

It was nice to just kick back and dig in, even for me.

Mentally, at least.

It helped me push Monroe to the back of my head, but it also made it harder because she would always come back.

The remembrance is the worst part.

It's gut-wrenching to experience the realization over and over again.

It was even harder at night, especially as I laid on Zion and Sarai's couch for a second time, staring up at the dark ceiling.

After sleeping all day today, my sleep schedule was officially fucked.

I knew Monroe's was too.

She's probably awake right now.

I wonder if she's thinking of me.

I hope work is hard for her.

I hope everything is hard for her without me.

Then I remember she's naturally detached, and I start to doubt my effect on her and the stupid plan I have.

What if she doesn't come around?

I always shake the lingering question away, but it keeps sticking to my thoughts like dried hot glue.

I should've stayed at my place tonight—she would've shown up.

It was guaranteed.

Maybe I could've gotten her to cave faster, and we wouldn't be apart right now.

But I also know the longer I fight her and stay at Zion and Sarai's out of avoidance, the more insane she might grow.

Hopefully?

I tried to push my doubts away, closing my eyes and forcing myself to sleep.

After a couple of hours of tossing and turning, I reached for my phone, deciding to scroll on TikTok for a little while.

Luckily, I don't have anything to do super early, and Sarai and Zion always try to be mindful when I'm sleeping.

Once I finally fell asleep around four, I slept until almost twelve, waking up to their empty apartment.

Sarai was in class, as she mentioned in the group chat I checked, and Zion linked up with our class study group at the library campus.

Apparently, he tried to wake me up to see if I wanted to come, but I said no.

At least my half-asleep brain knows what the real priority is.

I never do our class study groups—it just feels unnecessary, and they all kind of get on my nerves.

Zion just does it because he takes school really fucking seriously.

I'm pretty sure jam-packing a study session right before an exam isn't good, but maybe I'm wrong.

I got ready pretty quickly since I didn't have to do much.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face, doing my skincare before I redid the bun in my hair.

After framing my face with baby hairs, I walked out of the guest bathroom, wearing a long-sleeve vintage baby tee with baggy black sweatpants.

I always love wearing a tight top and baggy pants because it illuminates my figure.

I quickly heated up my Chinese food leftovers from last night, noticing another black box of roses for me on the counter.

There was also a glossy Gucci bag with my name written neatly on the tag.

It made something in my stomach burn with warmth, realizing this was the second gift Monroe sent in the span of twenty-four hours.

It was a dainty rose gold necklace, and annoyingly cute.

Also, really expensive.

I looked it up and it costs over three thousand dollars.

But still, no note.

The cards on both the flowers and the necklace were blank.

I threw the flowers away as usual, but I couldn't bring myself to discard the necklace.

I also didn't want to wear it, so I decided I would ship it back to her later.

Giving it back to her in person was what she wanted.

She wants a response from me, but she needs to speak first if she wants me to speak back.

I shook my head to myself, leaving the jewelry on the counter as I focused on quickly eating my food before walking over to campus.

Since Zion and Sarai live so close, it's not even that long of a walk—maybe fifteen minutes minimum.

Everyone was still at the library studying, so I was one of the first people in the lecture hall, walking over to the third row where Zion and I always sit.

If it were up to me, I would be in the back row, but Zion takes it really seriously, and I don't want to sit alone.

I glanced down when my phone started buzzing, noticing Zion's caller ID.

"Heyyyy," I said as soon as I answered the call, pressing my cold phone to my ear.

"Hey, Libs," he spoke as I briefly stared around the lecture hall, standing by the third row, "Are you already there?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm the first one for once," I joked, running my fingers along my vintage tote bag lying across the table in front of me.

"Well, our professor just emailed," Zion said, and I could hear his footsteps on the other end, "Good news is that she pushed the exam to Wednesday—bad news, you just wasted time walking over there."

I sighed dramatically, "Whatever, I guess I got my hot girl walk in," I mumbled, glancing over when the door to the lecture hall opened.

I physically froze in place when her presence emerged past the doors, her posture as high as usual, and her heels clicking precisely against the shiny floors.

She wore a soft white blouse with navy dress pants that brought out the color of her perfect blue eyes.

Her hair was down in loose waves, leaving her bangs to frame her sharp face.

I won't lie... a small part of me wanted to smile at the fact that she's here right now.

She left work in the middle of the day to track me down here.

She probably even made a call to have the exam postponed.

I have her right where I want her.

"Libs?"

I quickly glanced away from her stare, already locked on me, deeply clearing my throat.

"Yeah, sorry, repeat what you said," I murmured, grabbing my tote bag from the table.

"Did you want to do something downtown?" Zion asked as I walked down the short steps toward the front of the room where she stood.

I didn't meet her stare again.

I just walked as fast as I could, determined to leave this lecture hall to prove my point.

Even if everything inside of me wanted to stay and talk to her.

"We could do scooters again," Zion offered as I rushed toward the door, but it was impossible not to pass by her on the way.

"That could be fun—maybe smoothies too," I suggested, my words more breathless than anticipated.

But I'm growing closer to her, and I can feel the weight of her stare burning into me.

It's making my body burn with this annoying warmth.

"Can we do wings? I want to go back to that one spot," Zion said as I kept my head down, walking directly past her.

My feet halted underneath me before I could process it, feeling the grip of her hand around my bicep.

Her touch was soft as usual, but there was a firmness behind it.

One that dared me to take another step forward.

I stepped forward anyway, purposely pushing her patience further.

That's when I felt her hand on my waist—tugging me right back to her.

"Let's do uh wings—yeah," I quickly forced out, feeling the warmth of her body pressed to the back of mine.

I could smell her familiar sweet scent, feeling her grip on my waist tighten.

"Okay, we'll ride together," Zion said as I tried my best to focus properly.

I briefly closed my eyes when Monroe leaned closer to me, her lips grazing the shell of my ear and sending shivers down my spine.

"I need to... check on my other class, with my other professor," I unconsciously said, clenching my jaw when she grazed her soft lips down from my ear and against my neck.

"Okay, cool, I might go see Sarai. Her class is almost over," Zion said, making me nod a few times.

"Great, we'll text," I quickly responded, ending the call once we exchanged our goodbyes.

I let out the deepest sigh of my life, sinking into her body as she pressed the softest kisses against my neck.

"Did you get my gifts, darling?" Monroe softly whispered against my skin.

"Is that what you came here to ask me?" I forced out, sinking deeper and deeper into her touch, "You had my exam cancelled to ask me about those stupid gifts without a note attached?"

"Yes, Liberty. I had your exam cancelled to ask about the gifts," she said, her voice so soft in my ears.

"You're insane," I sighed, blinking my heavy eyes open.

"It's nothing new," Monroe casually murmured, pressing a soft kiss to my ear, "Did you like them, darling?"

"I threw the flowers in the trash, and I'm shipping the necklace back to you," I bluntly said.

Monroe only hummed softly, the sound vibrating through us both, "I'll send more," she casually determined.

It made knots grow in my stomach, but I had to physically push it away.

"I asked for more. Not a necklace, Monroe," I reminded her, tugging away from her hold.

It felt like she let me pull away, loosening her grip on my waist.

"I'm giving you what I can, darling," she said as I turned around to face her, taking a step back to put some space between us.

Every touch is calculated to make me cave.

I know it.

She knows it.

Yet I still want it.

"Either give me more or nothing at all," I said firmly, crossing my arms over my chest.

Her blue eyes shifted down to my arms, acknowledging my actions.

Then, she tilted her head, glancing up to meet my stare again.

"I'm very confused. Perhaps you can help clear this up for me," Monroe said, her blue eyes burning into mine, "At Cannon Beach, we were out by the ocean, and I told you I wasn't the type to get invested. Did you not agree with me, Liberty?"

I blinked a few times at her specific recollection.

I forget that she remembers every little thing I say or do.

"You told me you get me," Monroe said, stepping closer to me.

"I do get you, Monroe," I didn't hesitate to say, furrowing my brows as I stared into her dark blue eyes.

"Then show me," she said, reaching up to cup my face so gently in her soft hands, "Show me you get me, darling."

I stared wordlessly into her eyes, feeling my shoulders sink from her words.

I want to show her.

I want to prove that I get her.

But that's what she wants.

"Come here," Monroe softly whispered, gently grabbing one of my arms crossed over my chest, "Let me feel you, darling."

I unconsciously leaned away, "No," I forced my voice to sound strong, trying not to fall right into her arms again.

Quite literally, I would say.

"Just because I want more, doesn't mean I don't get you, Monroe," I clarified, hoping she understood the difference.

Monroe tilted her head, "If you did get me, you would understand that I can't offer more. I'm not emotionally capable," she pointed out.

I scoffed, "Okay, and if you get me, you would understand that I'm not emotionally capable of being detached like you," I pointed out, trying not to let my confusion show.

This is too complex to make sense anymore.

"Liberty," she said, her voice firmer with me as she stared so deeply into my eyes, "I never asked you to be detached."

"But if I'm not detached, then I'm the only one deeper in, Monroe," I said in frustration, stepping back and making her hand fall from my cheek.

Monroe shook her head. "This was the agreement we both signed, Liberty," she pointed out.

I shrugged, "And now I want out," I determined.

"There is no out."

I stiffened from her tight words, glancing down when she reached for her sleeves.

One by one, she began rolling them up to her elbows, revealing her soft skin.

It was as if we weren't in the midst of a conversation at all.

Like she just snapped away for a moment.

But I could tell by the subtle furrow of her brows—

She's bothered.

It felt like she was only rolling her sleeves up to distract herself.

Almost like a reflex to anchor herself.

It was a little off-putting how she shifted her focus so quickly.

"There's no out," she murmured under her breath, making goosebumps roll down my body, "You can't go anywhere if I don't let you go."

I didn't know what to say—how to react.

Something inside of me told me to leave, almost instinctively.

But I didn't want to.

I wanted to fight for this—she hasn't even tried to give me more.

"Monroe," I hesitantly said, hoping she would meet my stare again.

It felt like she was no longer here with me.

We were in two different worlds, divided by her mind.

I blinked a few times, watching as she carefully rolled her other sleeve, her stare focused precisely on the act as if I weren't here at all.

"Monroe," I tried again, stepping forward to close the space between us.

"Leave, Liberty," she calmly said, focused entirely on her sleeve, "Try your best to get away from me. Prove whatever point this is."

I remained silent, unsure if she was being serious right now.

Then I remembered she's always serious.

She wants me to leave?

"Remember," she suddenly murmured, finally glancing away from her exposed arm to meet my stare.

Chills ran through my body, furrowing my brows as I stared so deeply into her dark eyes.

It was the look behind them.

Empty, but not blank.

Like her mind was far away, calculating things I couldn't see.

Things I wasn't meant to.

"Everything you get to do is because I allow it," Monroe softly whispered, making everything around me burn, "Keep hiding away from your apartment, I know where you are, what you eat, how you spend your time. I know everything, and perhaps that can be enough for me."

I blinked a few times, trying to process her honest words.

Knowing every little detail about me was enough to keep her content.

She doesn't need me physically.

Wrong.

I'll show her how wrong she is.

"So you know I plan to go out tonight?" I purposely asked.

Monroe didn't react, her expression was chillingly blank.

"You're blacklisted, Liberty, but try as you will," she determined, letting out a soft sigh.

Her words made my jaw clench.

Of course, she blacklisted me from all the clubs and bars in the area.

Why am I surprised?

But there are still college parties with plenty of women.

"Oh, I'll try," I suddenly said, determining I wouldn't share my new plan or she would ruin that too, "Maybe I'll fuck someone tonight, and you won't be able to control it."

My words were purposeful—they were directed.

I know Monroe well enough to know that everything revolves around control for her.

It's all she ever wants.

"It's very careless to use someone's life at your disposal," Monroe said, her jaw flexing just enough to know that I hit a deeper spot, "She won't be beside you when you wake up in the morning."

I tilted my head, "But you can't stop her from being inside me," I delicately whispered, holding her darkened stare, "Or maybe I'll let her use my face just like you did," I purposely added, taking a quick step back when Monroe reached for me.

"Liberty—"

"Have a good day, doc," I murmured with my usual smile, "That's all you are now anyway? Just doc?"

Monroe rolled her lips into a pursed line, making the satisfaction burn deeper inside of me.

I didn't let her calculate her next words.

I stole the moment before she could manipulate it.

It was freeing to walk out of the lecture hall entirely, feeling this weird excitement growing around me.

I was a little... nervous, you might say.

Monroe feels unpredictable.

I knew she was already planning her next move—or maybe even ten steps ahead of me in general.

I wasn't sure if I was running away or drawing her closer, but I still won this round.

Now the game has changed.