Page 44

? ? ?

The next morning Monroe woke me up before the sun had a chance to rise.

My head was pounding, my eyes felt heavy, and the covers were too warm to pull off of me.

But Monroe insisted on this doctor's appointment, and I technically made a deal.

So I got up.

Unhappily.

I was dead silent as I got dressed in the outfit Monroe picked out for me.

A smooth black shirt that clung to my waist and baggy black jeans.

I didn't even care about doing my hair or skincare since I planned to get back in bed anyway.

My only priority was brushing my teeth, noticing Monroe walking to stand behind me.

She's remained silent after I didn't say good morning back to her earlier, quickly picking up on my hostility.

As usual, she was put together.

Even for six in the morning.

She wore a fuchsia blouse, black dress pants, and her usual black stilettos.

Her long dark hair was down, framing her sharp face.

The pink blouse complimented her features so well to the point that I couldn't stop staring at her.

I just didn't feel like speaking yet to compliment her.

I sighed through my nose, setting my toothbrush down as Monroe gently pulled my hair up into a bun for me.

She kept hair ties for my curly hair here.

It wasn't surprising... she likes keeping things here for me.

Yet it still made me feel warm inside.

I felt special.

Especially as she tied my hair up for me, ensuring it was to her liking.

It was the first time I had witnessed someone get a messy bun right on the first try.

It looked really good.

Good enough to make me ask her about doing my messy buns from here on out.

I was too tired to right now, but I made a mental note to ask her from here on out.

Right now, I was just trying to stay awake.

The breakfast she made helped me feel a lot better.

It was a bagel with peanut butter, bananas, and raspberries.

I was literally in heaven as I ate, feeding her a few bites even if she already ate while I had been sleeping.

She made herself a coffee to-go, grabbing me a water when I shook my head no to coffee.

It felt so weird to leave with her early in the morning before work.

She looked so good.

And smelled good too.

I didn't want to be away from her for an entire workday.

I tried to stay awake during the car ride, just to savor her presence.

But five minutes in, and I was already leaning against the door with my eyes closed.

It felt nice to sleep, even if it was for a few minutes.

"Liberty."

I hummed, "I'm awake," I tiredly murmured, keeping my heavy eyes closed.

I could feel that the car wasn't moving, but I just didn't want to move yet.

"Your eyes are closed darling," she softly whispered, caressing her hand against my skin.

"I'm still awake," I argued, my voice barely audible, "I'm just resting my eyes for a moment."

I heard Monroe hum softly, "Well, we're here," she said, making my lips naturally purse into a pout, "Would you rather me carry you, darling?"

Just like that—

I was smiling.

"Aw, Ro Ro," I murmured teasingly, forcing my eyes to open as I met her stare, "You would carry me the entire way?"

Monroe rolled her lips into a smile, eyeing my face, "Have I proven otherwise?" she asked.

My smile grew as I leaned away from the door, "I'm so spoiled," I murmured happily.

"Oh, not even close," Monroe said, opening her door, "I'll have you rethinking the term spoiled, darling, trust me."

I pursed my lips when my smile threatened to grow, feeling my face grow warm from her words.

I didn't move from my seat, or open my door.

I watched her slide out of the driver's seat, gently closing the door and rounding the car to my side.

It was a test.

I wanted to see if she would truly carry me.

"Oh hi there," I whispered innocently when she opened my door.

Monroe's lips twitched up with amusement as she leaned down, sliding one of her arms under my thighs and the other at my mid-back.

I smiled wider as her arms firmly hooked around me, lifting me from the seat and sliding me out of the car.

Then she stood to her full height, making me dramatically part my lips.

"My-my, Dr. Leclair," I murmured teasingly as she used her leg to close the car door, "You're very strong."

"Should I throw you over my shoulder instead?" Monroe subtly suggested as I ran my arms around her neck, "Perhaps that'll show you just how strong I am, Liberty."

"You can do anything you want with me, Dr. Leclair," I softly whispered, purposely leaning my face closer to hers.

"Liberty," she said, her voice lowered with a clear warning as she walked through the empty parking garage toward the elevator.

"Yes, mommy?" I asked, purposely keeping the innocence in my tone.

"Do you want me to take you back to the car?" she calmly asked me.

And I knew exactly what she was insinuating.

And if I had a choice between an appointment, and Monroe making me finish as many times as I could take it in her passenger seat—

Well... I choose the second option of course.

"Pretty please," I said, eyeing her perfect side profile as we approached the elevator.

"For my benefit. Not yours," Monroe clarified, her blue eyes briefly meeting mine, "Only good girls get to orgasm."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "I have been a good girl," I pointed out as she stopped by the elevator.

But she didn't press the button.

"By teasing me? I don't think so," Monroe immediately shut my words down, meeting my stare, "Now which is it darling? Your appointment or a few rounds of edging?"

I remained silent, staring into her dark blue eyes with my own determination.

"So you're telling me..." I trailed off, openly holding her stare, "You don't want to feel me tighten around your fingers?"

Monroe's lips twitched up, amused by my words, "Darling," she softly whispered, eyeing my face as her smile grew.

It made me feel fucking degraded.

"You're already very tight for me," she continued, eyeing my face as she gauged my reaction. One that I tried to hide from her, "But the best part about edging you? I get to feel you grow tighter and tighter, only to leave you with nothing."

My face burned from her words alone, unconsciously tapping her shoulders to let me down.

She didn't.

She only held me firmer in her arms.

"I get to hear your pretty moans or the desperate whimpers you make when I slide out of you," she continued, making me unconsciously glance away from her, unable to hold her stare, "Then your perfect thighs press together and your body visibly trembles. It's quite beautiful really."

"Let me down, Monroe," I mumbled, not bothering to meet her stare burning into my face.

Forget about the fucking car.

I choose the appointment.

She's already edged me just days ago, and I have yet to get my release.

"Not in a teasing mood anymore darling?" she just had to ask me, making my face burn even worse.

"No," I said, my voice tightened from the frustration she caused, "Let me down."

"Very well," Monroe murmured nonchalantly, loosening her grip as she carefully let me down.

I placed one foot down at a time, leaning away from her as soon as I was standing.

But Monroe grabbed my waist—

And pulled me right back to her, leaving my back pressed to her front.

I inaudibly gasped when she grabbed my chin, turning my head and pressing her lips to mine.

I wanted to push her away to prove my own point.

But she smelled so good, and her lips were so soft against mine.

I attempted to lean away, but her grip on my chin grew firmer, kissing me deeper.

I sighed breathlessly against her lips, annoyingly kissing her back as she held me in place.

"Behave," she said against my lips, briefly kissing me one more time before pulling away.

I eyed her face for a moment.

The serious expression she had.

I didn't want to start our day off with a punishment for something so meaningless.

I know now not to tease her.

Unless I want to endure edging or whatever else she has up her sleeve.

"Okay," I suddenly said as she gently caressed her thumb against my chin, contrasting her previously firm touch, "I'll behave."

"Good girl," she murmured, letting go of my chin to press the button for the elevator.

The conversation was dropped as we stepped onto the empty elevator.

Monroe clicked one of the buttons, causing the elevator to smoothly close and drift up.

This doctor's appointment was different.

Monroe didn't know the doctor personally.

The practice was still closed like the other time I experienced, but I assume Monroe preferred that privacy-wise.

It was also really nice, the lobby and private examination room were very upscale.

The appointment wasn't bad either—it was actually really quick.

Dr. Issac only asked me random questions, like how I got the bump on my head to start with.

I left Kaia out of it and just specified that I accidentally fell over the couch.

Then she asked me questions involving my memory.

She also flashed a small flashlight in my eyes, having me look left and right.

The worst part was when she gently touched my head, examining the bump a little more.

It was finally all over once she tested my balance.

And just as I thought, I was cleared and good to go.

She specified to ice my head and keep an eye out for any additional symptoms.

Then I could finally go home.

And fucking sleep.

I swear I couldn't wait to crawl into my bed.

It just sucked that Monroe had work—I wanted her to sleep with me.

She still made an effort to walk me up to my apartment once we arrived.

She also helped me change out of my clothes and tucked me into bed as usual.

I was beyond ready to go to sleep by the time she set a glass of water on my nightstand, and lightly kissed my forehead.

I would've normally been upset that she was leaving, but I was entirely too comfortable and tired to care about anything other than sleep right now.

I slept for hours.

The next time I woke up, I felt so refreshed.

It was close to twelve but I didn't care—there were no specific plans for today.

Maybe I would see what Zion and Sarai are doing but that's it.

Oh, and I'm sure I'll be going over to Monroe's tonight.

I already texted her that I was awake, and then I texted the group chat with Zion and Sarai to ask about any plans for today.

After that, I laid in bed, scrolling on TikTok.

Monroe texted me back immediately asking about my plans for the day, which I wasn't too sure of until Zion or Sarai answered.

She also asked if I had eaten anything or drank water.

Which I hadn't done...

Monroe immediately told me to eat something and send a picture of my food to her, which made me groan out of laziness.

I wanted to lay in bed for at least another hour.

But even that was impossible once Sarai texted—mentioning lunch downtown and thrifting.

Then I was forced out of bed, but luckily, I didn't have to make myself lunch.

Monroe still insisted on a snack to hold me over, so I grabbed a banana and took a picture of it.

As I ate that, I ventured into my closet, picking out a comfortable outfit for the day.

It's decently cold outside, so I decided on brown sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt, re-doing the messy bun Monroe had done for me earlier.

Except it took me numerous tries to get it right.

I also did my skincare and re-brushed my teeth since I fell back asleep earlier.

Sarai previously said they were almost done getting ready, so I opted for no makeup to save time.

They're probably on the way downtown now.

I did cover up the bruise on my head, mostly because it looked so ugly and I hated the idea of people seeing it in public.

Once it was covered, I quickly slipped on my shoes and applied my usual fragrance oils.

Then I rushed out of my apartment, gently closing the door behind me.

Luckily, my car was back at my apartment complex.

I don't know how or when Monroe did it, but she had the car keys left under my doormat for me.

Car delivery must be a perk you get as someone with connections.

I briefly texted Monroe as I walked down the hallway, glancing up when I heard the elevator ding.

My steps halted immediately.

Especially as I tried to process Kaia's presence.

She was in a long-sleeve vintage t-shirt and jeans, her hair slicked back with a claw clip and a curled strand framing her face.

"Libby," she immediately said when I took a few steps back, sliding my phone into my pocket.

Even if there was a lot of space between us, I didn't want to be near her right now.

"You shouldn't be here," I pointed out, hating that she was putting me in this predicament.

Now I would have to tell Monroe that she showed up here.

I can't keep lying.

But it also took so much convincing for Monroe not to escalate this further.

Fuck.

"I know-I know, I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Kaia rushed out, stepping off the elevator with her brown eyes locked on me.

I took another step back.

"I don't need an apology. Please just leave," I said, knowing that none of this was worth it.

Kaia being here, apology or not, it's not worth any of it.

"I genuinely want to apologize for pushing you over the couch—I wasn't trying to push you over," Kaia decided to say anyway, disregarding my previous words, "I wanted you to know that. From the bottom of my heart, that wasn't my intention, and I'm sorry."

I nodded stiffly, deciding not to say anything else.

I told her to leave.

I don't want to encourage her more by engaging in this.

"I pushed you too hard, and I want to take accountability for that... I was angry that you were leaving me because-because," she paused, her hands trembling as she pressed them tightly together, "I guess I just feel alone—you hurt me and I think I was trying to hurt you in return. I don't know, but you didn't deserve that, and Libby..." she trailed off, tears burning in her big brown eyes, "I love you so much. I really didn't intend to hurt you, I-I just don't have the best examples in my life of healthy relationships."

I pursed my lips tightly together, glancing away from her when tears annoyingly burned in my eyes.

"You're my first real best friend—my true ride or die," Kaia brokenly whispered, "Or you were I guess, but I'll always be here if you need me. No one will ever replace you."

I sniffled, quickly dabbing under my eyes as I stared up at the bright fluorescent lights.

"I guess that's um all I wanted to say?" Kaia sighed weakly, clearing her throat, "I just wanted you to know my intentions, but I know that doesn't change what I did."

I drew in a deep breath, remaining painfully silent as she slowly backed away toward the elevator.

She gave me one last glance.

Like she genuinely believed she wouldn't see me again.

It was the shortest second, yet it managed to break everything inside of me—watching her turn away.

I blinked my tears away as she clicked the elevator button, causing it to ding open immediately.

"Wait."

The word fell from my lips before I could process it, my body acting before I could.

I didn't even realize I was walking closer to her until the space was closed between us, Kaia turning around immediately.

I stared at her for a moment, drawing in a deep breath as I tried not to cry.

Because this felt like it was it.

At least for right now.

I knew Monroe would want to end things eventually.

Maybe Kaia would be a better friend for me then.

Maybe this is all just wrong timing.

"I love you too," I suddenly whispered, holding my arms out for her.

Kaia's face fell immediately, tears pooling in her eyes as she threw herself into my arms.

I could hear the faintest sounds of her soft cries, clinging onto me like I was all she had.

More tears weighed down my eyes, listening to her break apart in my arms.

"This is it," I forced out, my stomach hollowing when her cries grew worse, "Just for some time, Ki."

Kaia nodded against my chest, "Yeah-yeah, okay," she forced out with a soft sniffle, "I'll be here for you whenever you want."

I let out a deep sigh, trying to regain somewhat of my composure and stop fucking crying.

I'll have to be in public after this.

I'm so glad I didn't wear makeup.

"Fuck your dad by the way. He doesn't deserve you," I said, slowly unraveling my arms from around her, "Only a few more months and you're free. He won't matter anymore."

Kaia sniffled, nodding as she pulled away from my chest, "Thank you. I'm really sorry about your mom—I didn't know her intentions. I didn't think it through at the moment," she whispered, her puffy brown eyes meeting mine.

"I'll find my own way to move past it," I determined, not wanting to say it was okay and excuse her actions, "I felt betrayed, Kaia—honestly fuck the couch incident. Helping my mother is what hurt the most."

"I know," she whispered, wiping more of her tears away.

I let out a deep sigh, pulling away from her entirely, "I wish you the best with everything," I decided to say, carefully dabbing under my eyes with hopes that my recently applied skincare would be okay.

"Yeah, I wish you the best too," Kaia said, pursing her lips into a weak smile as she hesitantly stepped back from me.

I remained silent, watching her turn around to click the elevator button—this time, stepping on and clicking the ground floor.

I held her stare as the shiny doors rolled closed, remaining stuck in place even after she was long gone.

I didn't know how to feel.

It was like I had gotten closure.

But at the same time... I felt really sad?

It felt like that was it, we took our step back.

But after everything that's happened, it felt necessary.

It's like a bittersweet feeling.

I cling to the good moments of our friendship but fail to remember the bad.

And recently, there was so much bad.

I let out a deep sigh, finally snapping back into reality as I stepped toward the elevators.

I was silent as I pressed the button, walking on the elevator that dinged open first.

It felt like I was still processing everything.

Or maybe coming to terms.

I was blank for a full ten minutes.

Even as I drove to the restaurant nearby, I was deathly silent.

Until I decided I needed to call Monroe.

At least before I have lunch with Zion and Sarai.

We would also be shopping after, and I wanted to tell Monroe what happened now so I could get it off my chest.

Even if I felt hesitant to.

My heart nearly pounded in my ears as I dialed her contact.

There were barely three rings—

Before the line clicked, and she answered.

"My beautiful girl," her voice flowed from my phone speaker, sitting in my parked car as I sat outside the restaurant.

Her words were enough to make me let out a deep sigh, unconsciously relaxing against my seat at the familiarity of her.

"What happened to your lunch plans?" she asked when I unconsciously remained silent.

"They're still on," I quickly said, pursing my lips as I stared ahead at the car I was parallel parked behind.

At least I found free parking.

"That's good," Monroe said as I began thinking about how to bring up the Kaia topic again, "I have a patient in ten minutes."

I blinked a few times, "Oh, I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling my face burn up, "I forgot you were in the office," I admitted, realizing I might be interrupting her from handling files or something.

"You're not an inconvenience, darling," she didn't hesitate to say, her voice so soft with me, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," I said before I could think it through.

Then I shook my head to myself, letting out a deep sigh.

"No," I suddenly whispered, pursing my lips together as I stared down at my lap.

"What's going on?" she softly asked.

"I..." I trailed off, searching for the best way to say this.

Especially since I'm not with her in person.

God only knows how she'll react.

"I need you to stay calm, Monroe," I suddenly said, wanting to ensure she would at least agree to that first.

And not make any crazy decisions.

Or phone calls.

"Calm?" she emphasized, her soft tone fading away so quickly that it made shivers run down my spine.

"Yes, calm," I repeated.

A brief silence followed, and I wasn't sure what I should say.

Or if I should say anything.

"Tell me what happened, Liberty," Monroe suddenly spoke again, her voice much more serious with me.

"Will you be calm?" I purposely asked again, noticing she was trying to work around the calm topic.

"Yes," she said, sounding almost restrained from saying something else.

So I remained silent, deciding she most likely was going to say more.

There was something to add here.

"So long as I don't have a valid reason not to be calm," Monroe clarified as I expected.

I inhaled deeply, anticipating how this would all go.

She won't agree to be calm—I can already tell.

Especially when she doesn't know what I plan to say.

It's too unpredictable for her.

"You know what this is about," I hesitantly spoke again, staring at my phone in my lap.

"Without a doubt," Monroe agreed, her voice still as serious, "Go ahead and say her name to clarify for me, Liberty."

"Kaia," I said before I could talk myself out of it.

The silence that followed was harsh.

It was tense.

But I still remained silent—even if it ate away at me.

Seconds felt like minutes, and I contemplated the idea that time genuinely slowed down.

"She showed up at my apartment," I suddenly spoke again, even if everything inside of me told me to stay silent, "She apologized and expressed her intentions—I got closure."

Silence.

That's all there was on her end of the call.

I almost wondered if she was even on the phone anymore.

"I'm happy it happened," I continued, awkwardly filling the tense silence, "It was what we needed before we fully parted ways."

I let out a deep sigh when she still didn't contribute anything else.

"Monroe, you have to say something," I pointed out.

"You won't like what I have to say, Liberty," she finally spoke, making this weird tension between us grow.

Even if it was through the fucking phone.

"I just don't want you to do anything—that was it. We got closure and everything is good," I clarified, hoping she wasn't planning on making another phone call.

"How do you know she won't show up again?" Monroe carefully asked, making my brows furrow.

"Monroe, she understands that I'm taking a step back," I emphasized as I tried to figure out where her head was at, "There's nothing you need to do."

"Need or want?" she countered, her tone growing tighter with restraint, "I want to do more. Perhaps I need to as well."

I immediately shook my head, "No, Monroe," I said, my voice growing firm with her.

"This will spiral out of control otherwise, Liberty," she determined, making dread spiral inside of me.

"I won't forgive you if you do more," I rushed out before I could think it through, unsure what else I could bargain besides myself, "I'll... hate you so much."

"I'm perfectly content with being the villain here, Liberty," Monroe didn't hesitate to say, making me question everything.

Like the fact that she's okay with me hating her if it means regaining control of this situation.

Or maybe she knows I couldn't truly hate her.

I mean, even I know that.

But isn't the threat enough?

I would care if she hates me.

But I guess that's the difference here.

She's detached.

Even after holding me for countless nights as I slept or witnessing so many of my vulnerable moments.

This is how she operates.

She told me this—I knew this from the start.

"She just wanted to apologize and clarify her intention—that's it," I finally spoke again, deciding that my previous route wasn't going to work, I had no leverage, "She didn't do anything wrong. She didn't hurt me."

"She's still unpredictable, Liberty," Monroe added, making frustrated tears burn in my eyes.

It felt like she had her mind made up.

Like controlling the situation was the only option here, regardless of the details.

"Whatever Monroe. Do whatever you want," I mumbled, picking up my phone from my lap, "You wonder why I lie to you? This is why. Maybe you're the unpredictable one."

I ended the call before she could say anything else, throwing my phone in the passenger seat with a frustrated sigh.

I should've never even said anything.

She's so irritating sometimes.

I swear she's so irritating.

And I hate that the moment I'm standing in front of her, holding her stare, or feeling her touch—

I crumble.

I always give in to her.

But I swear on everything, that I won't this time.

If she does anything to Kaia, I won't cave in.

I won't fucking crumble.

I suddenly opened my door with a deep sigh, remembering lunch with Zion and Sarai.

After everything that has already happened, I literally don't even feel like it anymore.

But I'll suck it up, whatever.

My phone is staying in the car though.

I could already hear it buzzing insistently with a call as I slid out of my car.

And I knew it was her.

But I'm not giving in.

I'll speak to her when I want to.

I forced a smile on my lips as I approached the entrance to the restaurant, walking through the revolving door into the airy space.

It was bright and decorated in a cute minimalist way.

On any other day, I would've appreciated the vibe of this more.

But today wasn't that day.

I forced a wider smile when I noticed Zion and Sarai already seated further into the restaurant, waving me over.

I briefly told the hostess that I was here with a group, earning a friendly nod from her as I walked past.

Zion and Sarai smiled so wide as I approached their table.

They already had their appetizer—mozzarella sticks and fried pickles.

I knew the pickles were Sarai's call since they were her favorite.

"Hi guys," I greeted them with as much enthusiasm as I possibly could.

"Hey Libs," Zion said as I sat down with them at the circular table.

"Girl I need your opinion on so much," Sarai said as I got settled in my seat, "The yearly gala is approaching, and this is my last time on the planning committee."

"She's been stressed about this since Halloween," Zion pointed out with a smile, reaching for one of the mozzarella sticks.

"Because it has to be good—Libs understands it," Sarai said, glancing over to me.

Her eyes trailed my face for a moment, making me wonder if it was obvious I had been crying previously.

"There are a few final touches to make since it's two weeks away—seventeen days technically," Sarai clarified as she grabbed her phone, making me relax slightly.

It must not be obvious that I was crying.

"Is everything good, Libs?" Zion suddenly asked, his stare pinned on my face.

"Zi," Sarai mumbled under her breath.

"What?" he said to Sarai, chewing a few times as he glanced back at me, "You look like you've been crying."

"Which you obviously don't point out to a girl unless you want her to cry more," Sarai deadpanned, giving him a blank look, "Have you learned nothing from shark week?"

I pursed my lips into a smile at the reference.

Shark week means her period.

And Sarai cries... frequently.

"I have, but Libs doesn't cry," he pointed out to his girlfriend, suddenly glancing back at me again, "Who do I need to fight?"

I laughed, shaking my head as I tried to push my heavy emotions away.

His concern made me want to cry even more.

Sarai's right—asking me if I'm okay after I've been crying, does make me want to cry more.

"You don't need to fight anyone," I said, trying to keep my smile strong, "Let's just not talk about it right now."

Sarai immediately nodded, "Gala talk it is—no biggie at all," she said, noticeably nudging Zion to be quiet.

Which amused me more.

Maybe lunch with them was exactly what I needed after everything that just happened.

Even if I want to crawl into my bed for the next few days.

But right now, I decided to be immersed in the moment—discussing the final touches for the gala with Sarai.

Zion seemed busy eating all the mozzarella sticks.

He didn't like fried pickles, so it makes sense why Sarai purposely ordered them.

She even did her evil laugh as she ate them, sharing some with me.

Zion also spared three mozzarella sticks for me to have as well.

I felt a little better after eating something fried.

It made me feel like today might still be a good day.

Even if I knew I could only ignore Monroe for so long.