Page 31 of Clear Shot (Lauderdale Knights #9)

Hana

I don’t know how long I sat there after Aiden left.

I knew it would be a difficult conversation, but I hadn’t articulated the idea that he would accuse me of cheating.

I thought he would focus on the fact that he didn’t want biological children, or maybe that I tricked him or something.

I knew it wouldn’t go well but I didn’t expect to feel…

cheap. Like I’d done something wrong. This wasn’t my fault, but somehow I’m the one feeling like the bad guy.

I trusted him the same way he trusted me and he had the audacity to automatically assume I slept with someone else.

When would I have done that?

I’ve fallen in love with my husband and don’t even think about other men. The idea of sleeping with someone else is repulsive to me.

Yet he walked out without even a real conversation.

He merely made his assumption—it never crossed his mind it might have been a surgical error?

—and gave me the parameters of our relationship going forward.

If you could call it that. He essentially told me to figure it out.

He’d allow me to keep the visa that came with our marriage but I had to explain our separation and my pregnancy.

Well, he can go to hell.

I don’t know what I’m going to do exactly, but short-term, I’m out of here.

I packed up my things—everything except those stupid shoes—and drove to Claudia and Anders’ house. They have a practice this morning so I make sure to wait until I know Anders will be gone. Then I knock on the door and wait for Claudia to answer.

“Hey! What’s…” Her voice trails as she takes in the expression on my face. I don’t know what I look like, but it must be bad because she immediately reaches for me. “It didn’t go well, huh?” She pulls me inside and gives me a big hug.

“He thinks I cheated,” I whisper, the horror of last night’s conversation finally hitting me.

“He what?” She stares at me in confusion.

“It never even crossed his mind that it’s his kid. He just talked around me, like it was a foregone conclusion that I cheated. And get this—he said he’ll honor our one-year marriage agreement as long as I don’t try to take half the house.”

Her mouth opens but nothing comes out.

Then she snaps it shut and grunts. “Well, fuck him and the horse he rode in on. Didn’t you defend yourself?”

“He caught me off-guard with the cheating stuff. It never occurred to me that’s what he would think. I thought he’d be furious about the fact that he thinks his genetics are bad and demand I have an abortion or something.”

“And that never came up? He didn’t ask for a DNA test or anything?”

“Nope. It was all about me cheating.”

“Huh.” She chews her lip thoughtfully. “Complete denial.”

That gives me pause, because as hurt as I am, she’s right.

“You believe I didn’t cheat, right?” I ask softly.

Her eyes fly to me, wide with disbelief. “Of course! Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve been crazy in love with him for much longer than you’ve been married. And you would never cheat anyway because even if you didn’t have feelings for him, you need that visa and cheating would put it at risk.”

“Exactly. So how is it that he doesn’t see any of this?”

“I don’t know.”

I’m exhausted and queasy and sad.

My heart is broken in ways I never thought possible, and it feels like the worst kind of betrayal that Aiden wouldn’t entertain any options other than infidelity.

What does that say about us as a couple?

What does that say about me? He has zero faith in me, and that probably hurts more than anything else.

I trusted him.

Fell in love with him.

And none of it was real.

He pretended it was, but when the chips were down, he turned his back on me.

“You need something to eat and a nap,” Claudia says after a moment. “I can see how tired you are.”

“What am I going to do, Claudia?”

“You’re going to have some breakfast and then rest.”

“But—”

“We’re not going to solve anything this morning, so you need to take care of yourself while we think about what’s next.”

“I might have to go back to Slovakia.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m not going to stay here, using him for a visa when he obviously doesn’t trust or care for me at all.”

“It might not be that black and white,” she says slowly. “It might be that he does have feelings for you but doesn’t know how to handle them. And because he also has strong feelings about not fathering a biological child, he wouldn’t even entertain that option.”

“I think that makes it worse, not better,” I whisper, fighting back tears.

“Don’t cry.” She hugs me tightly. “We’re going to figure this out.”

She’s right that I need food and a nap.

When I wake up I need to sit down and go over my finances and make a plan.

Then I’m going to call my grandmother.

She’s always the voice of reason and doesn’t hesitate to tell me when I’ve screwed up. Not that this is my fault but I’m desperate for some clarity.

“Claudia?” I meet her gaze guiltily. “I need a really big favor.”

“Anything.”

“You can’t tell anyone anything.”

“Uh, there’s no way I can keep this from Anders.”

“I’m not going to tell my brother what’s going on yet,” I say.

“At least, not until after tonight’s game.

I have to come up with a story that’s going to keep the peace on the team.

You know this is going to impact his relationship with Aiden, and the last thing I want is the guys on the team taking sides or something. ”

She grimaces. “Yeah, that would be bad.”

“When Anders gets home, we have to talk to him together. I’m sorry to put you in the middle but I don’t have anyone else right now.”

“It’s okay. Anders understands the best friend situation. He’ll keep your confidence once he hears the story.” She pauses. “I really don’t think you should go back to Slovakia, Hana.”

“I don’t want to, but that might be my only option. If and when you get your company going, you’ll find a way to bring me back. But I want to release Aiden from his commitment, and the marriage, as soon as possible.”

“Regardless of what he thinks, it’s still his kid,” she says firmly. “And it took two to tango. If the vasectomy failed, that’s between him and his doctor, but he still owes you child support.”

“I don’t want anything from him.”

“It’s not for you. Babies are expensive. Trust me on that. You’ll need diapers and formula and clothes and furniture. A crib and a car seat and so many things. Even if you don’t get the most expensive items, it adds up.”

“I can’t think that far ahead.”

“You’re not considering…terminating?”

I pull in a sharp breath and shake my head. “No. I did think about it, but no matter how much he hurt me, I love him and I already love this baby.”

“And Auntie Claudia and Uncle Anders are going to love it too.”

I blink away tears. “I’m so scared, Claudia. I didn’t want a baby right now.”

“I know.” She reaches for my hands. “But you’re not alone. You have me and Anders, and you’ll have Johan and Sloane once you read them in.”

“I don’t want there to be trouble on the team. I never wanted that. That’s why we didn’t date in the first place.”

“Look, this isn’t on you. He told you he couldn’t get you pregnant. Then he did. At some point, even if it’s not until the baby’s born, he’s going to have to own up to his part in that.”

“He’s not going to want anything to do with it.”

She shrugs. “That’s fine. He still has to pay child support. And he will. Johan will make sure of it. If you’re keeping the baby, he’s going to see it, and sorry, but Aiden doesn’t get some kind of pass because he didn’t want kids. He should’ve wrapped it up.”

I nod.

I know all of these things.

I just don’t have the bandwidth to think about them all now.

It’s all I can do to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

Short-term, I have to focus on survival.

Once I sleep, and get my head on straight, I’ll come up with a plan for the future.

This baby and I are going to be fine.

With or without Aiden’s help.