Page 24 of Clear Shot (Lauderdale Knights #9)
Aiden
Being away from my wife for eight days feels like eight months.
I can’t wait to see her, touch her, kiss her.
Getting away from the devastation that hit South Florida was nice but it also left me feeling a lot of guilt.
I think the whole team was dealing with it because we went two and three while we were gone—winning two and losing three.
Even Coach Petrov didn’t have a lot to say after the losses, merely reminding us that all we can do is dig deep and find some sort of balance.
I don’t care about balance right now—all I’m thinking about is my wife.
It’s late when we get home and I expect her to be asleep, but I find her sitting up in bed with her laptop.
“Hey, baby.” I lean over to kiss her and she tilts up her face.
“Hi.” Our eyes meet and there’s nothing but joy in hers, which makes me pretty damn happy.
“I’m going to change. I’ll be right back,” I say quickly.
“I’ll be right here.”
Five minutes later I crawl in beside her and peer at the screen of her laptop.
“Still looking at houses?”
“I’ve found a handful that I want to see,” she says. “This one is my favorite.” She opens a link and shows me a slew of pictures.
The house is typical for South Florida, and though it’s not as big as some of the ones I’ve been looking at, it’s got a lot of interesting features.
The outdoor kitchen/grill area by the pool is breathtaking, and the bathroom in the primary bedroom resembles something from a spa.
The kitchen is gourmet, with a hidden pantry, and the four-car garage would allow us to park all of our vehicles and give me an extra space when I want to putter with my bike.
“I like it,” I say thoughtfully. “It has some beautiful things the other houses don’t have.”
“Exactly. There are four bedrooms and three-and-a-half bathrooms, which is more than we need, and I think we’ll get a lot of use out of the outdoor space.”
“It also says they have brand-new hurricane windows and shutters, which is a bonus considering what just happened.”
“Yes. And look at the built-ins in the closet.” She clicks on a photo.
“I guess we’re going to need to go shopping for some more shoes for you so you can fill that up,” I tease.
She laughs. “Let’s go see it first.”
“Have you been in touch with the realtor?”
“Not yet. I wanted to talk with you first, so we maximize the time we have. You’re busy with hockey, so I don’t want to waste time on houses we don’t both love.”
“That’s very thoughtful. But I’m a typical guy when it comes to stuff like this.
Sure, I have opinions but mostly I need a place for my motorcycle, a bedroom big enough for a big bed, and somewhere I can put a big TV.
Beyond that, I guess I’d like a big shower too.
The details, though, like colors and set-up and all that shit, don’t matter too much. If you’re happy, I’ll be happy.”
“We both need to be happy,” she says firmly. “Especially since you’re paying for it. It’s too late tonight, but we need to sit down—before we put an offer on anything—and discuss a budget.”
“A budget?” I frown.
“How much you make, how much the house and expenses will cost, and what we need to live on. If I go back to school, which I haven’t decided yet, I won’t be able to contribute anything to the household, so we have to make sure we’re on the same page. It’s important to me.”
The way she says it tells me we have to have that conversation, but it definitely isn’t going to be tonight.
“We’ll have plenty of time to talk about all those things in the morning.” I gently close the laptop.
“Oh?” She puts the laptop down and slides down beneath the sheets. “Does that mean you want to talk about something different right now?”
“We don’t need to talk about anything.” I cover her mouth with mine.
I’m usually up early, and Hana has been getting up with Joanna to give Sloane a hand, so I decide to go to today’s optional practice.
Coach has been taking it easy on us because quite a few of the guys have post-hurricane issues to deal with.
No one lost their home—other than me, apparently—but there was lots of damage to windows, roofs, and other outdoor elements.
“I’ll be home no later than one,” I tell Hana before I go, “so you can make the appointments any time after that.”
She nods. “I’ll call her right at nine.”
I press my lips to hers and smile. “If necessary, I can shower at the arena and meet you wherever you are.
“I’d rather wait for you,” she whispers.
“Okay.” I kiss her once more just as Johan comes in.
He plucks Joanna from his sister’s arms and cuddles her.
He’s a great dad and sometimes it’s hard to reconcile the badass hockey player I work and play with daily with the soft, gentle man nuzzling his daughter.
He changes diapers, gives her baths, and participates in pretty much every aspect of her life.
I know lots of guys who do those things, but I don’t usually see it firsthand the way I have since we moved in here.
For a long time, I couldn’t imagine being a father, under any circumstances, but now that I have Hana, I can see it. I can put myself in Johan’s shoes, holding our baby while Hana makes breakfast. Playing catch in the back yard. Teaching him or her to skate.
It wouldn’t be a biological child, of course, but that doesn’t bother me. In fact, the idea of giving a needy child a home speaks to me in ways I never thought it would. I wish someone had adopted me instead of growing up in the miserable dysfunction that was my childhood.
“We riding together?” Johan asks me.
“Yeah, I’m ready to go.”
“Come on then.” He hands Joanna back to Hana and I lean over to kiss both of them—Hana on the lips and the top of Joanna’s head. She giggles up at me, kicking her little feet, and I reach down to tickle her toes.
“See you later,” I say.
“You look like a happy man,” Johan says once we’re in the car.
“I am,” I admit. “Did you think I wouldn’t be?”
“You don’t seem like a man who married a woman just so she could get her visa.”
I cough lightly. “Yeah, that’s changed a little.”
“I see.” He looks over at me. “Do you love my sister?”
“I’m getting there.”
“This is great news!” He reaches over to clap me on the shoulder.
“Yeah?” I meet his gaze curiously. “I’m the man you pictured for your sister?”
He chuckles. “I pictured no one for Hana—she has her own mind and would not be thrilled to hear my opinions on whom she should date. However, knowing that it’s you, a man I like and respect, makes me happy.”
“I’m gonna try to do right by her. I already have one failed marriage under my belt, you know?”
“She wasn’t Hana.”
“No, she definitely was not.”
“You won’t make the same mistakes. I know this in my gut.”
“Your sister is special.”
“You don’t have to tell me .”
“I really don’t want to hurt her.”
“Then don’t.”
“My father was a terrible man,” I say after a moment. “He drank and beat up on all of us, including my mom. My brother is just like him.”
He’s quiet for a while. “I have never met your family.”
“And you never will. I cut them off a long time ago. But deep down, I think I’m nervous that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, you know? Nature versus nurture, or whatever that shit is.”
“You think that violence is something you are born with?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think there are many factors to that kind of behavior. Some of it is ingrained in you but the rest is… learned.”
“So then why didn’t I learn it from my father? The way my brother did?”
“I don’t know,” Johan says slowly, “but I don’t see this in you.
We spend a lot of time together, both on the ice and off.
I have never seen violence in you. I’ve never seen anything that would make me worry for my sister’s safety.
Or my wife and child. Do you think you would be living in my house and married to my sister if I thought this was even remotely possible? ”
“It was just supposed to be about the visa,” I blurt, staring out the window without looking at him. “But the minute we signed those papers it was like a switch flipped—I’m crazy about her and I want to be the man she deserves.”
“Then be that man. I believe you already are. I think Hana knows this too. The only person left to convince of that is you.”
I glance at him in surprise.
“Thanks, man.”
“Any time. You are my brother now—and I believe you are the man you want to be. Forget the past and focus on the future you have with Hana. Everything else is bullshit.”
I really want to believe that.