Page 29 of Clear Shot (Lauderdale Knights #9)

Hana

I thought the stomach bug was gone, but it seems to have come back this week and I’ve been throwing up on and off for several days now and it’s starting to piss me off.

The weird thing is that it’s worse in the morning.

By afternoon I feel almost normal and then the next morning it starts again.

I can’t imagine what’s going on, and I’m starting to worry a little.

Aiden left on a road trip the day before yesterday, and I’ve been miserable ever since.

At first I thought it was psychosomatic, but now I’m sure it’s more than that.

I’ve been burning the candle at both ends trying to set up the new house, spend quality time with my husband, support him at his home games, and start creating friendships with the other wives and girlfriends.

Not to mention spending time with Claudia and Sloane.

I’m beyond tired so I figure that might be part of it but even after sleeping twelve hours last night, I woke up ready to heave this morning.

“Maybe you should go to the doctor,” Sloane suggests when she comes by to help me set up the pantry. “You might need antibiotics.”

“I don’t even have a doctor,” I mutter.

“I can call mine for you. She’s really great.”

I sigh. “I feel fine right now—that’s what’s so weird.”

Sloane hesitates and her tone changes slightly. “Hana?”

“Yes?” I glance over at her curiously.

“Is there any chance you’re…pregnant?”

I laugh. “Nope. Not even a little. Aiden had a vasectomy.”

“He did?” She looks surprised. “Really?”

“Yup. He’s serious about not wanting biological children.”

“Huh. And you’re okay with that?”

“We’ve talked about adoption and a few other options. Besides, neither of us are ready right now. I think I’m going to get my master’s and go from there.”

“It might be a good idea to take a test, though, just to ease your mind.”

“Honestly, I didn’t give it a second thought. Vasectomies rarely fail.”

“Rarely, but not never.”

I shrug. “I don’t think that’s it. I’ll be fine in another few days, and if I’m not, I’ll call your doctor.”

“Okay.”

Conversation moves to other things, but now that she’s planted the seed, part of me is more than a little worried. Pregnancy would explain all my symptoms. The morning-only nausea. Fatigue. The fact that I’ve been incredibly horny—and my sore breasts.

Now that I think about it, I also haven’t had a period since… how is it that I don’t remember when I last had a period?

And how is any of this possible?

Hoping to find something— anything —that might ease my mind, I do a quick internet search and find that vasectomies are 99.85% effective. That’s a very small window for failure. Only two in one thousand men have issues, so it’s hard to believe Aiden would be one of them.

And yet, there doesn’t seem to be any other explanation for what’s going on with me.

As much as it pains me, I run to the drug store and pick up a two-pack of tests. I can’t even wrap my head around the idea that I might be pregnant. Birth control never crossed my mind because he took care of it surgically. I want children someday but not now.

Not with a new husband, a new house, a new life in Florida, and potentially starting graduate school in the fall. I can’t have a baby.

I most definitely can’t have a baby that Aiden doesn’t want.

Fuck .

I get home and hole up in the bathroom.

My bladder seems as reluctant to do the test as the rest of me and I sit there for a long time before I can actually pee. Finally, I do my business, set the test on the counter—and wait.

It’s the most excruciating two minutes of my life and then I slowly pick up the test.

Two lines.

What in the actual fuck?

I truly didn’t believe it could be positive.

And yet—it is.

I stare at it in horror and immediately unwrap the second test so I can try again.

It has to be a mistake.

He had a vasectomy.

He’s been clear he doesn’t, under any circumstances, want biological children.

He’s going to be furious.

But so am I.

I would never have allowed unprotected sex if I’d known he was lying.

He wouldn’t have lied…would he? But why? It makes no sense.

And when the second test is also positive, I feel a wave of nausea stronger than anything I’ve felt to date. I heave into the toilet what feels like everything I’ve ever eaten, and then just sit there. Cold and sick and… betrayed.

There has to be an explanation, but I can’t imagine what it is. Is he truly one of the two in a thousand who had some sort of failure? Surgical error? Some random medical anomaly?

Tears sting my eyes and I vomit again.

And again.

Until I can barely breathe. Or move.

This is a disaster, and I’m not sure who I’m more upset with—Aiden or myself.

I have no idea how or when I’m going to tell him, but first, I need to see a doctor and verify this is really happening.

Then I’m going to have to think long and hard about what to do next.

I’m not the type of woman who would do something like this on purpose, so it’s hurtful to think that he did.

I cling to the idea that his vasectomy somehow didn’t work, but even that doesn’t ease the worry and fear churning through my gut.

Aiden won’t want this child, no matter whose fault it is.

And I don’t think I can get rid of it. Despite the circumstances, this is our baby. Aiden’s and mine. A child made in love, even if it wasn’t intentional. I’m all about a woman’s choices, but this is different.

This is a baby I made with the man I’m in love with.

The fact that he won’t want it is soul-crushing.

I don’t know how we get past this, but deep down, I already know and understand that we don’t.

We won’t .

This will be the end of us.

And my life will be a complete mess because no one is going to hire a pregnant woman, especially since my specialty is sales.

There’s a technical side to what I do, but in the end, I’m good at selling software, and my pregnancy will keep me from being able to travel for a while.

Which means ultimately I can’t get a visa either—and I won’t stay married to a man who doesn’t want our baby.

I understand his reasons, but if there was any doubt about his inability to father a child, we should have been using protection. And now that there is a child—assuming both tests are right—the only option for me is to keep it.

I throw myself on the bed and bury my face in the pillow.

How did my life go from amazing to the world’s biggest clusterfuck in the span of two minutes?

Aiden will be home the day after tomorrow, so I have about thirty-six hours to come up with a plan.

I love and trust my sister-in-law, but I don’t want to put her in the position of keeping secrets from her husband. And Johan will not be happy about this turn of events.

This right here is the entire reason Aiden and I opted to remain just friends from the get-go. Neither of us wanted to do anything that would complicate his life professionally. The team is close-knit, a family of sorts, and this is exactly what we wanted to avoid.

But it’s not my fault.

Sitting up, I take a deep breath and call my bestie.

“Hey!” Claudia answers sounding cheerful.

“I need your help,” I say in a shaky voice.

“What’s wrong?” she asks automatically.

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“What?” She sounds shocked. She knows all the details of my situation with Aiden, so I’m sure she’s as confused as I am.

“Either he lied to me or he’s one of the two in a thousand men whose vasectomies fail.”

“Have you talked to him yet?”

“No.”

“Don’t freak out until you have a conversation. You don’t know how he’s going to feel.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I know exactly how he’s going to feel.”

“Hana, don’t psych yourself out. Trust him. You guys have been building something together. Buying a house, making plans for the future—you’ve even talked about adopting. He’s open to the idea of kids, so you don’t know how he’ll react to one of his own.”

“He was extremely clear that he doesn’t want to pass down his genetics, under any circumstances.”

“But circumstances have changed.”

“Not really.”

“Honey, don’t make unilateral decisions without talking to him. You owe it to yourself, to him, and to that baby growing inside you.”

I swallow.

I know she’s right, but I also know my husband better than she does.

He’s not going to be happy.

Hell, right now I’m not happy.

“Hana?” Claudia’s voice is soft. “Are you listening?”

“I am. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t stay in the US if I’m not married to him, which means I’ll have to go back to Slovakia.”

“You really think he’s just going to turn his back on you?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “But I have to have a plan in case he does.”

Because deep down, I think that’s exactly what he’s going to do.