Page 5

“Let’s go!” Colson – my closest brother in age – cheers as we watch Tommy race around the track in the beat-up go kart, we built in the backyard.

I jump up and down, screaming at the top of my lungs with a smile so wide my cheeks burn.

The makeshift racetrack and the surrounding area is jam-packed, and the atmosphere is electric. My brothers and I have been coming to these races for years and I love to soak up the excitement and intensity of every person here.

“Inside! Inside!” Xander shouts, cupping his mouth to help amplify his voice.

“You’ve got this, Tommy!” I holler, my throat already feeling sore from how often and loud I’ve been shouting.

My heart pounds against my ribcage as I watch him and the other racer fight for first place.

“Fuck, this is gonna be close. Too close,” I hear someone behind me mutter and I grin.

I hope the poor sucker bet against Tommy.

My shoulder is nudged, and I turn to my third oldest brother, Ronny, who holds out a helmet and gloves for me.

“You’re up next; let’s go.” He jerks his head to the side.

“Give ‘em Hell.” Colson winks and I knock his shoulder with my fist.

“You already know I’m going to wipe the floor with them.” I grin.

I place the gloves into my back pocket, and then tuck the helmet into the crook of my arm before following Ronny to the starting line. I keep my eyes trained on Tommy as he closes in on the lead racer.

“Go! Go! Go!” I scream, jumping up and down, flaying my arms around like a maniac.

The ripped up checkered flag is lifted.

Seconds pass and Tommy is flying past the finish line.

In second place.

“Fuck,” Ronny curses under his breath.

“How much did we lose?” I meet his concerned eyes.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, kid,” he says roughly before turning away.

“Bullshit.” I grip his elbow, forcing him to stop. “How much?” I demand.

“This month’s house payment,” he responds through a clenched jaw.

“What?!” I shout in disbelief. “Xander bet all of it?”

“Xander doesn’t know,” he answers quickly.

“What the fuck, Ronny?”

Between the four of them, they are barely making ends meet. And since I’m still in school, they refuse to let me get a job.

After Xander turned eighteen, our mom just up and left without a word. She left everything, including her debt. Racing and other… questionable activities are the only other source of income we have.

“Tommy was sure he was going to win this race. Fuck, Sarah I was sure he was going to win.” He rubs his hand down his face.

“That doesn’t mean you bet money that took us way too long to even save!” I shove past him and stomp toward the starting line where Tommy is pulling in for my race.

He climbs out of the go kart and removes his helmet. Beads of sweat fall from his shaggy blonde hair as he shakes his head.

I’m fuming.

My brothers and I have done some stupid shit over the years but to bet the money we need to keep a roof over our heads? Xander is going to murder them and I’m going to help dispose of their bodies.

Tommy’s eyes widen for a split second when he sees me march in his direction.

“Ready for your race?” he asks with a hesitant smile.

A sharp sting spreads across my palm the instant it makes contact with his cheek.

“What the fuck, Sarah?” he shouts, cupping his face.

“How could you bet that money? How could you be so stupid?!” I don’t know the last time I was this mad.

Maybe when Colson stole my cellphone and pawned it for alcohol money.

Either way, I’m so fucking pissed.

And scared.

Tommy looks over my shoulder and scowls. “You told her?” he snarls when Ronny steps behind me.

“How else are we going to make sure she wins?” he asks tightly.

“Don’t you dare put pressure on me to win. I can’t believe you guys.”

In quick, angry movements, I shove my helmet on and strap it below my chin. Then I shove my hands into my gloves.

“Fuck you both,” I say before climbing into the go kart.

Someone grips the frame of the go kart before crouching down at my side.

“You ready?” Xander asks.

My eyes bounce between his.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him what those idiots did. But I don’t want to put more stress on him than he already has. Xander is our lifeline and was forced to take the role of our guardian when he was barely an adult himself.

The best thing I can do right now, for him and my family, is to win this race.

“How much is the bet?” I ask instead of answering his question.

The side of my face burns from Tommy and Ronny’s stares.

“I bet 2k,” Xander replies.

Nodding, I wrap my fingers around the steering wheel and squeeze until the material of the gloves strains.

I glance over where Tommy and Ronny stand before turning back to Xander.

“I’m ready,” I say while starting the motor.

He grins widely, his eyes bright with excitement. “Kick ass.” He pats the framing and steps away.

I breath in deeply through my nose before releasing it through my mouth. Multiple emotions begin to flow through me.

Anger.

Anticipation.

Fear.

Excitement.

The flag is waved, and I quickly shift before slamming my foot on the throttle.

* * *

I won. Barely.

I didn’t bother to acknowledge Tommy or Ronny. The anger has dissipated, leaving the twinge of disappointment in my chest.

How could they have been so stupid?

Yeah, I won. But what if I didn’t? What did they expect us to do then? The money I made just barely covers the cost of the house.

“You did it, kid!” Xander’s proud voice flows over me, only to deepen the feeling of guilt I have.

I need to tell him what they did.

We need to be prepared to scrounge up more money.

The corner of my mouth lifts in a small smile as he pulls me into a tight hug.

Pulling away, I slip off my gloves and helmet.

My mind races with different ideas of how I can help them more than just winning this race.

There has to be a way I can make some money on the side since they won’t let me work an actual job.

I absentmindedly scan the crowd and pause when I see Damien – A guy from school – in the darkened corner.

It’s no secret that Damien is your man if you’re looking for some drugs. He’s four years older than me and has been in and out of jail for possession and distribution.

I don’t know how he keeps getting released, but right now, I’m kinda happy about it.

No one would suspect me as a dealer, and it would be easy money.

Our small town has little to do other than drugs, sex, and other illegal activities to keep us occupied.

Pocketing the little idea forming in my head, I turn to celebrate my win with my family.