Page 28

Once again, my back meets the mat. The breath from my lungs bursts out with my grunt. Rhys and I have been sparring for about an hour, and I have yet to knock him on his ass. He’s too fast. Too nimble for being such a big man.

It pisses me off.

I snarl then push myself to my feet. Sweat rolls down my forehead and I blink the burn away when it falls into my eyes.

“Give up yet, baby?” The amusement in Rhys’ eyes only serves to piss me off more.

Swiping my brow with my arm, I settle back into a crouched fighting stance. I slowly bounce on the balls of my feet.

Rhys mirrors my stance.

“I’m not giving up until I kick your ass,” I snap.

His chuckle covers me from head to toe in a warm embrace.

Stop it, I chastise myself.

My emotions are all over the place, but the one I’m choosing to focus on right now is anger. I’m angry at the life Paige has been forced to live. The fear in which she lives on a daily basis. Even on a good day, her past eats at her. And I can’t save her from it.

The first time Paige woke up screaming from a nightmare scared the absolute shit out of me. I didn’t know what to do at the time but climb into bed with her and hold her. I kept repeating that she was safe and at home with me. She calmed down and we fell back to sleep.

Eventually that became a norm for us.

She doesn’t know about my nightmares. I don’t always wake up screaming. But when I do, I just pretend it was because I was watching something on my phone or saw a spider. Luckily my lying has somewhat improved since I was a teenager.

I’d been awake for several hours by the time Paige woke up this morning. My mind replayed Xander falling through the floor before I finally startled awake after dreaming of myself jumping out of the window.

Sometimes I dream that I never made it out of the house, and I just burned alongside my brothers.

Those are the ones I struggle to forget about the most.

Why couldn’t it have been me? Why did I survive but lose my entire family?

“Hey, you okay?”

Rhys’s voice brings me back to reality. I hadn’t realized I zoned out. His gaze is filled with concern that pierces me right in the chest.

“I’m fine. Just got distracted. Let’s do this.” I send a jab toward his face. Of course, he dodges it with perfect precision.

He hasn’t hit me back; he just avoids my punches and kicks and wrestles me to the ground. I’ve told him many times already that I need him to actually hit me for this to give me more benefit.

He disagreed immediately. He apparently thinks I need to learn how to better handle moving targets.

Either way, I’m annoyed.

I spin, maneuvering into a roundhouse kick and he catches my leg.

He smiles wide and shoots me a wink. Using the training Dani has beaten into my brain. I flex my foot behind him and pull him toward me while reaching to grab the back of his head. He releases me and I send my knee into his ribs.

When my feet meet the mat, I jump back, out of his reach.

Pride shines brightly in his emerald eyes. “That was amazing.”

I huff out a small laugh, my already heated face seeming to reach a new level of hot. My annoyance slightly dims.

Rhys rests his arms at his sides for a moment then takes slow, measured steps toward me. I lift my chin to keep eye contact. The way he looks at me is as if I’m the only person in the room. If my heart wasn’t already galloping from the sparring, it would be when he lifts a wrapped hand. He gently tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.

“You’re amazing, Sarah,” he whispers.

Instead of lowering his hand, he rests it on the side of my neck. His thumb caresses my jaw.

My eyes dip to his mouth for a split second when his tongue swipes across his bottom lip. The energy between us hums with electricity.

This unbelievably beautiful man is a danger to my heart, but I can’t seem to stick to my guns about keeping him away.

He studies my face as though committing it to memory.

“Rhys,” I whisper.

Our bodies seem to unconsciously move closer until my breasts brush against his bare chest. My entire body comes alive when I watch the widening of his pupils.

The beat of my heart is a base drum in my ears. Echoing uncontrollably in my chest, reminding me just how affected I am by this man.

We startle when his phone begins to ring. The bubble that formed around us bursts.

My eyes flutter as I’m thrown back into reality. I pull away from him and make my way over to my things. I slide my gym bag over my shoulder and head toward the elevator that will take me back to the penthouse.

“Sarah, wait,” he calls out, but I ignore him. The draw I have toward him is too strong. I need to leave and get my head on straight if I’m going to survive staying with him for the time being.

* * *

I swipe my hand across the condensation that covers the bathroom mirror. My reflection stares back at me but I only see a lost and confused woman. The one who doesn’t seem to be able to get her shit together no matter what she does.

I’ve managed to avoid Rhys for about an hour. But I know it’s only a matter of time before he confronts me about what happened in the gym.

The line between lust and love is blurring.

Every minute I spend with him does something to me. He makes me feel things I’m scared to feel. Dangerous things.

I’m not ready for it.

I’m not ready to let him in. It’s so much easier to pretend my mind, body, and soul aren’t yearning for him.

Sighing, I swing open the door and go about my post-shower routine. It isn’t long before I hear the thump of Rhys’ boots on the tile flooring just outside the bedroom door.

My throat tightens when they halt on the other side. Time stops and I forget how to breathe as I wait for him to decide whether he plans to enter.

His shadow moves low to the ground before he rises his steps retreat. Relief and disappointment swirl in my chest.

Not wanting to bring focus to the confusing emotions that keep making their appearance, I wait until I’m sure I won’t come face-to-face with Rhys before striding over and opening the door.

A single rose lies on the floor with a note.

I pick them up and bring the rose to my nose, breathing in the floral scent. I can’t help but feel touched by the small gesture.

Mo réalta,

I have to go take care of some things for a few hours. I will be back as soon as I can.

Yours,

Rhys

My fingers lightly trace the word Yours . Warmth spreads through my blood.

Damn this man.

Why can’t he just be an asshole looking to get laid? Why does he feel the need to make me feel wanted?

The door closes with a quiet click when I step back into the room. My conflicting emotions need to be put in check before he returns.

* * *

Hours later, I’m leaning with my forearms rested on the balcony railing. The city below is lively. Unlike our rundown part of the city, this area is filled with men and women in power suits. They strut along the sidewalks with their briefcases and they’re either on the phone yapping away or chugging coffee like it’s a lifeline.

The sun casts a warm orange and pink glow behind the towering skyscrapers. The image is just what you’d see in a travel brochure about New York City.

My mind isn’t trapped with thoughts of Rhys, but with drowning sadness about my brothers.

“I wish I could talk to you guys. I need some advice,” I whisper, hoping wherever my family is, is not too far away, and they can hear me.

The skin around my nails is raw from me picking at it. My nail polish is nearly gone for the same reason.

“I don’t know what I’m doing without you.” My voice cracks and my eyes being to burn, blurring the world around me. “Why didn’t you take me with you?”

The first tear slides down my cheek, dropping onto the back of my hand. I swear I can almost feel the warmth of arms enveloping me.

“Remember when you guys gave me advice about my first boyfriend?” A small chuckle falls from my lips at the memory.

Kaleb was in Colson’s grade. He was cute, funny, and caring. After we’d been dating for 6 months, he told me he loved me. I didn’t say it back and, luckily, he didn’t push me to. When I got home that night, I was sweating with panic. I was 16 and didn’t know anything about love, so I asked Xander about it. He had been with his girlfriend, Amy, for a few years by that time and they were already talking about marriage.

The rest of my brothers, of course, took it upon themselves to put in their two cents.

Colson told me he was a tool. Ronny threatened the castrate him if he was only saying it to get in my pants. Tommy told me to be careful who I give my heart to and if I didn’t immediately know I loved him, then I probably didn’t.

Xander sort of agreed with him. He told me it took some time to realize that he was in love with Amy but when he did, it was as though he saw the world differently.

He needed Amy like he needed to breathe. He didn’t see a future without her right there beside him.

So, needless to say, I didn’t love Kaleb.

I knew. Eventually, he knew it and we broke it off not long after.

“I still don’t know about love. But the way Rhys makes me feel is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.” I sniffle and wipe my nose with the sleeve of my sweater.

Lifting my chin, I watch the colors of the sky darken to blues and purples. “I really wish you were here. I need help. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to let him in.”

The city’s lights make it impossible to see the stars and my heart breaks a little because of it.

“Please. If you can hear me, please help me figure it out.”

Kissing my forefinger and middle finger, lift them to the sky, then head inside.